Mother-in-law Hell

A little about myself. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. The first six years was just myself, husband and my 15 year old and my 14 year old(from a previous marriage). My mother in law then was a very selfish person and Rude! Now that we have had two other children (now 4 and 3) Seems like she has got worse! To make a long story short, this woman lives 3 miles away from my home. When birthdays come around she only acknowledge my husband and our two young children (that we have together) She brings over b-day cards and cake and presents for him and my young children. When my b-day comes around or my other children (from a previous marriage) she doesn’t even acknowledge us! For Christmas one year she had came over (we were not home at the time) and left a bag of presents (only for the little ones and my husband)She put these gifts on my front porch on top of my deceased grandmothers Christmas cactus!I was so upset! The only thing I had left of my grandmother. My husband was very furious and loaded the gifts up and took them back over to her house and left them on her porch and left her a nasty letter on how rude that was. She then insists that she did not do no such thing! I mean we know the cat did not do this! The gifts were from her. Then a few years before she had brought gifts I happen to get a candle and the candle was broken and glass all wrapped up. ( you can clearly see that this gift was broke) Last year she had completely ignored my b-day all together. No card no phone call from her. I even talked to her on the phone the day of my birthday and she didn’t say anything! My husband was over her house (doing chores for her) and even left a hint that it was my b-day and she just ignored it! Then her birthday is in 4 days she calls me up and hints around that it is her b-day that she is leaving for the week. Like I was suppose to Wish her! Like a dummy I did tell her Happy Birthday and even got her a card!I have taken much abuse from her and her family and do not know why. One Christmas (and it was the last Christmas I ever attended over her house) I walked in her home and all my husbands family was there and her husband yells across the house “There she is there is Fat A–”. They always made fun of me and my other children and everyone else. Now she lives alone and she tries to throw quilt trips towards me about her not having anyone there and she has no one to cook for and so on. Always complaining about how no one ever comes to visit her! I try to keep peace and talk to her on a have to basis but every once in a while she does things that aggravate me like popping in when she was not invited or at least calling first. I could go on and on about this woman but you get a general idea of her treatment with me.As far as my husband goes he has told her several times about her evil ways. Just the other day he mention he was tired of her evil ways, and to just ignore her. He never picks up the phone to call her. I am the only one talking with her after all the abuse she has given me. Seems like the nicer I am she gets worse! Why is she like this and should I be dealing with her differently? I set my boundaries with her and you can hear it in her voice when she gets mad about what I will not do for her. And she is the worlds best for dropping hints! I just get straight to the point and I think she doesn’t like this.I am not about to change for her. Who knows what goes through her mind!Just a little information on my Mil and wondering if I should be approaching her differently. I also need to add I have never give her reason for her to treat me like this.Just a stay at home mom that takes really good care of her family!Cold she be jealous? Seems like she has a lot of hatred bottled up inside!
~~Confused!