My SIL finally got married to her BF of several years (they have a child together). Since they decided to get married in an exotic, meaning, expensive destination, no one could afford to attend their wedding. So, my MIL and SIL planned a wedding reception, later in the month, for everyone to attend. We were invited to their wedding party but couldn’t go b/c hubby had to work. My SIL made a BIG deal about the whole thing. She called several times to say how EVERYONE was flying in from all over the WORLD to attend their reception.
Coincidentally, hubby decided on the very weekend of his sister’s BIG event, we would purchase a new vehicle for me to drive, since mine was getting high in the miles. We have been needing a new vehicle for quite some time. My car is 12 years old. I know his mother and sister are going to hit the roof when they find out that INSTEAD of coming to her special event, WE bought a new car. If we have the money to buy a NEW car, why couldn’t we fly to her party? But, it’s not about the MONEY it’s about the TIME hubby would have to take off from work for us to attend. Also, I’m afraid that since we didn’t attend, it might be gossiped within the family, that I KEPT him from attending the affair. Completely not true, yet, that is how things get twisted in THEIR minds. They get jealous and nasty whenever hubby does ANYTHING, as a good husband should, for our home, family or me. My MIL once commented was I HAD financially strapped her son with all the things I needed and that’s why we couldn’t afford a new car for me. Gee, like hubby had no input on purchasing our home, new truck, fifth wheel camper and ATV’s? My needs have come LAST! Willingly!
My question is this. Should we tell his mother and sister that we bought a new car? A part of me wants them to know, JUST to rub it in their noses!
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8 Responses to “To Tell or Not to Tell”
NOOO. Let them find out on their own. Its tempting to rub it in but then you are stooping to their level. Enjoy your car and have some peace. =)
Why bother! I’m sure you’ll hear about it when they see the car LOL.
Make it clear to them that it wasn’t the money but the time like you mentioned in your story. I guess the right thing to do would be to apologize for not going….. grrrrrrr lol.
I also have a nightmare of a SIL in league with the devil that is my MIL. You wont win either way let’s face it.
My policy is not to tell them anything, because whether I do or not, they- as you suggest yours will in the above- make up their own take on things anyway.
You can’t do right for doing wrong in my experience, so leave them out of your equation.
On the up side, I envy you that you have aplane journey between yourself and your husbands family. If only!
Good luck with it!
Well sorry to say I partly understand your angryness cause they might will say its your fault that you didn’t went to the wedding. But on the other hand what kind of brother are you to not attend your sisters reception for the wedding. Do not understand me wrong I do not know all the details but not going to a wedding reception cause of work?!!!! thats also bit odd. If you can tell me more details my opinion would might sober down bit but as I read it now I can certainly say that this is partly your husbands fault. (their says in you buying a car or not have nothing to do with it of course)
TELL IT, TELL IT, TELL IT! From the sound of it, you aren’t going to have any peace when it comes to dealing with them anyway. Let them know just how “financial strapped” you supposedly got your husband.
I’d say “no” also. SOMEone has to be the “bigger” person here, and if you do anything to keep this going, you share in the blame.
If you feel your activities/home/family are none of their business, you have no reason to let them in on this.
Good luck.
We have decided not to tell them about the new vehicle. DH thinks it will cause unnecessary hostility towards me.
The reason hubby cannot get off work is b/c we run our own business and he doesn’t have an employee to cover if he isn’t there which translates into completely closing the business for the duration of the trip. Not a huge loss but substantial. We sent them a nice gift from their registry. DHs opionion is that since his sister has been with this guy for several years and they have a child together that the whole show of a big wedding and reception was over the top and unecessary. As a woman I understand my SILs desire to have a wedding and reception but agree w/DH. It was DHs decision not to attend, I encouraged him to go.
I see, that changes the situation! Thanks for clearing up