Mother-in-Law HELL

Help! 16+ yrs in this family. German MIL is all of the above in the titled description. She lives 2 hrs. away. She is (White) German with (3) bi-racial sons, by (3) different men. The youngest son’s father ended up marrying her. All (3) son’s married (white) German. My husband married me (Black). Oldest son was dis-owed by my MIL when he was an infant.

Recently, father-in-law passed away. I took time off from work, school, etc. to help her care for him in his dying days (cancer). He had all of his post-death legal issues prepared (including his own obituary).

On the day of his death, MIL edits & changes his pre-written obituary. The obituary lists all the titles and names of all of his survived including: wife, two grown sons, all (5) grandchildren. MIL decides last minute to include her sister who still lives in Germany, and has never been…

I don’t have a “beginning-to-end” story, but I’d like to share a few specific incidents that stand out. My MIL is very unbalanced, controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. I actually did make a list of all of the things that I observed her doing, but that list is MUCH too long to post here. These are some of the highlights, though:

-She has a “thing” about my husband’s hair. He has semi-long hair, but it is always well-combed and never looks dirty or shaggy. Back when we were seeing her often, she would constantly nag him to comb or wash it, often several times a day. He had a freelance job that included public appearances/meeting with clients. She would constantly schedule him hair cutting appointments behind his back. One particular time, he directly refused to cut his hair (it was quite short and perfectly trimmed). I heard her begin to loudly…

My MIL lives in another country and we only return there once a year for vacation. I go earlier than my husband and he arrives 3 weeks after i do, the usual stay for the kids and i is 6 weeks.
My MIL is controlling, manipulative and emotinally clingy (she keeps asking if i love her and needing me to tell her yes) and i dont think i can take it anymore.

Year after year me and the children have stayed with her and her husband and my 25 years old unmarried brothers in law, (who are very cool, but immature teaching my kids rude words and silly phrases to repeat and be embarrased by), at her house but each year there are problems, she says my kids are ‘hers’ and does whatever she likes with them, feeding them stuff i tell her not too (a whole chocolate bar right before lunch,…

Where do I start? My husband and I have been together for almost nine years. We’re fixing to have our 5th wedding anniversary. I had a nine year old son coming into the relationship who will soon be 18. My husband adopted him about a year ago. We have a 2-1/2 year old son together. We live on a family farm about 30 ft. from my in-laws. I guess when I first moved here, it was pretty obvious, that although my husband lived in his own home, he never left the nest. His mom especially, was still very involved in his home and the upkeep. My first thoughts were, maybe if they quit treating him like a child, maybe he would grow up. I am 11 years older than my husband by the way. There were initial issues of coming over without calling, walking in without knocking, coming in the…

I know it sounds totally obsurd and awkward. Call me paranoid or just overreacting, but I would almost swear that my MIL has a crush on my husband. I suppose some evidence is in order, eh?

+ When we first started dating, we had the unfortunate fate of living together under her roof while we counted down the days til our savings reached “moving out” status. Not only did we have to live there, we were forced to share a bedroom with my husband’s younger brother (who is actually the same age as me). Can you imagine how uncomfortable it is to come home from work to have your future BIL tell you: “Mom says she doesn’t care what you guys do but just wants you to wash your sheets because she says they stink”

+ On the topic of sex, somehow this lady is often trying to butt her nose in…

Okay First of all I just would like to say that THANK goodness for this website…I came across it googling some information on Passive aggressive mothers, I was googling this because I needed some logical reason as to why my MIL (from Hell If I may add) is the way that she is.

Well I will tell my long story, even if it is just to vent because I feel that I am losing my mind! Here it goes:

I met my husband when I was in High School, He was visiting the country for a few months. Long story short we met, we dated, we feel in love, mother found out and made him leave south of the boarder. (she lives on a different continent btw). So because she is such a control freak she doesn’t care what kind of pain she is inflicting as long as she gets her way.…

My MIL is an alcoholic and a druggie. If I had met her before my husband and I eloped, I am quite certain I would not have married him. She is the ultimate piece of work.

The first time I met her she was drunk. The second time, she and I and my SIL went out and she left us at a bar, in the middle of winter, in the middle of nowhere, with no vehicle to get home so she could go screw the bartender. The third time, she wanted to babysit the grandkids so hubby and I could go out. There is no smoking or drinking in my home I told her (so did hubby). Got home, she was drunk and the house reeked of smoke. Final straw had come. So, using the three strike theory, I told her she was not welcome in my home anymore and she…