Mother-in-Law HELL

My MIL has issues with her husband and constantly has my husband over to break up fights or when things are not going so well. My husband is the oldest of 6 children and he is the only male so he feels responsible for the well being of the family but I believe it is up to my FIL to look after his daughters and his wife. Recently my FIL stated that he was only with the family because of the youngest girl (6yrs) and that he didn’t care for the rest of the family. My problem is when my husband and I finally get some free time to spend together my MIL calls and asks us to come over or to take her someplace. I feel like she treats my husband like if he was her husband. She bought a nice car but does not know how to drive…

My MIL was just ADORABLE when we met! She welcome my daughter and I into her DEN, that yes, at first looked like a home. She would take the time to call me and TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT – so kind to take the pressure of my brain, day to day living had just been hopeless untill I had her – not! She even went out of her way to go to the grocery store and buy me samples of what I should buy from the where I should NOW do my grocery shopping. She even thought it would be fun to play chinese whispers with my fiance and try and make him keep snakey secrets from me- What a gem!

These are the reasons I feel so bad. You see, we just dont get along anymore and i am afraid its my selfish behaviour…

So we decided to Elope, or so I thought, problem is his parents are overseas and they are very keen to meet me and come to the wedding.

Which is awesome, but I kind of feel like if its going to be low key elopement with just witnesses should that not mean that families don’t come either?

I mean I know he wants his folks there and yes I really want to meet them, but I wanted, not a big, but a nice smallish wedding with just close friends and family.

As that is no longer reality I thought we had agreed to elopement.

Now I find out I’m supposed to co-ordinate this for guests coming from another country?

Am I being selfish, I mean after my family dramas I STILL would love if my whole family could be there this is not reality though—- should I just delay the wedding?

All I wanted to do…

So I know this site is for MIL but as I’ve previously said issue here is with my mother, not his.

So we have a family gathering to go to and we are both DREADING it.

I really hope my mother is not there as the last time I spoke to her it was a bit rough, ok more than rough, she basically told me it was my fault my sister had just been diagnosed with cancer and that anything I was doing was not helping.

This is after my other sister and her had been carrying on and abusing me at the hospital 48 hours after my sister had had surgery.

I can’t tell you how heart warming it is to go and see your sister, at the hospital to make sure she is ok (and obviously having some side effects from the surgery) and being told to F off from your other…

So I just remembered last years christmas gift from my family, as they are tightwads – ok were not rich but its the thought that counts, I would rather give everyone $5 then be the sole person responsible for the present.

I made sure my mum (who I pulled out of the hat) got her $100 gift voucher to the shop she is ALWAYS carrying on about how they always have the books and CDs she loves.
She gets it and is like, I never go to that store there is nothing I want – THEN she had the hide this past year to be like I went into that store and got some books and you wouldn’t believe it it was 1 day before the gift card ran out NO WAY MUM the $ is only valid for ONE YEAR, like I told you and it says ON THE CARD!  Don’t…

DH and I were abused by his parents for several years, whilst we tried to cut them out of our lives: we finally had to leave the country to escape them. Because MIL and FIL refused to have DH in their ‘family’ unless he ended OUR relationship, he has not been part of his ‘family’ for several years. The innocent people (siblings/aunts/cousins/grandparents) have all been told crazy lies about us, and have witnessed MIL and FILs pathetic act, so we are both seen as cruel and selfish, while MIL and FIL are the ‘poor abandoned parents’.
Despite several nasty comments we got from these misguided relatives, we also got several messages showing that they still love and care for DH, but we were in no position to try to reconnect with them, because they firmly believe MIL and FIL’s twisted lies about us, so it wouldn’t have worked.

Now we are safe…

So…this gist of it:

My Fiance and I were tired of the round about with his family and decided there was no point waiting to get married. We did a quick ceremony at the court house and it was done. This was Nov. 23rd.

His family decided to leave for Thanksgiving with the rest of the family earlier, after we had set everything in motion. To be fair, no one came, only our witnesses.

My mother and Grandmother were thrilled-they are still glowing over their daughter/granddaughter and son/grandson(he’s not an in-law to them by any means ) The rest of my family and all of our friends have been so happy for us.

Everyone knows that we will have a ceremony to reaffirm our vows in a year or so and everyone will attend, even if we pay for them too; this way everyone can share our happiness.

Now the problem.

His parents and sister haven’t…