When I first met his mother, she seemed nice enough. She was friendly and invited me over for dinner relatively often. Soon, things turned slightly sour as she enforced “family time” in her house. My boyfriend was to have at least 4 dinners at home per week and spend “quality family time” with her, his father, and his brother at her discretion. His father and younger brother are both laid-back and try to avoid getting involved in her battles with him. They had several family functions over the course of the summer, several of which my BF was allowed to invite friends to, just not me.

Throughout the whole summer, my 18 year-old boyfriend had a curfew of 11 p.m., meaning he had to be home without me by that time. It was beyond frustrating.

While we were away at school, she seemed to warm up to me slightly. I was invited to family christmas and a few other functions; it was wonderful. The rest of his family is sweet and friendly towards me and always remark that we seem like a great couple.

This Spring, all went to hell. He told her that we planned to move into an off-campus apartment for the next year, with a few friends, and she flat-out refused to continue paying for college if he moved in with me. Needless to say, we’re both living in on-campus dorms next year…bleh.

Last weekend, the parents went away for the weekend on a camping trip. Before they left, they called some family friends, as well as my own parents, to ask them to drive by the house occasionally to make sure there were no parties and make sure I was out of the house by 1 a.m. BF and I are not “bad kids”: we both graduated from high school with highest honors, never drink or do drugs, are respectful of our parents, and are studying hard at school (he’s on the honors engineering track and I’m honors pre-law). This over-protectiveness was beginning to get somewhat ridiculous.

Just last night, BF and I were in his bedroom, which is on a separate floor from his parents and brother (who is 16). Around 11:30 (everyone else in the house goes to bed at 10) we were fooling around a bit in his bedroom. Apparently his mother was awake because ” we were being loud and keeping her awake” (we may as well be ninjas we try so hard to be silent after everyone goes to bed). After I left right at midnight (the time I have to leave their house on weeknights), his mother, who had apparently been awake, confronted him saying “I know you two were up there sleeping. Don’t even try to deny it. She is absolutely not allowed to be in your room anymore and you two need to be in the T.V. room or downstairs only.”

Today, his father pulled him aside and told him that his mother wanted them to talk. His father was clearly uncomfortable and didn’t want to do it, but potential-MIL had forced him into it. He informed BF that if I got pregnant they couldn’t afford to put up him, me, and a baby. As if! I’m on birth control and have no plans of becoming a mother in the next decade. He continued by asking BF if he noticed that I “wear very short skirts.” BF asked, and dad said he hadn’t noticed but that his mother had mentioned it. I can assure you that, while I dress stylishly, I never dress inappropriately. I’m a very modest person. His mother, however, is a bit of a house and wears big tents of shirts and ill-fitting shorts as her uniforms. It might be worth it to mention that she doesn’t work during the summers, either.

With the crazy curfews, enforced family time, and comments on how I dress, I’m starting to think she’s just jealous and threatened by me. What’s the best way to handle this situation? I’m so insulted by her at this point that I’m considering avoiding her all together!

She acts like a child. She is beyond morbidly obese to the point where she gets disability checks for it, which was her goal since she didn’t want to work for a living. She never washes herself or clean her nightgowns (it is too much effort for her to wear actual clothes). She won’t even go to the bathroom cuz she doesn’t want to put her tevo on pause and walk up the stairs.

She would use her son’s information to join book clubs and get services and not pay, so that it didn’t come back on her and he was always left paying her bills.

While I was pregnant she wouldn’t stop smoking around me and made the excuse that my pregnancy stressed her out to the point where she had to smoke more. I was forced to stay in the basement of her house for that reason since we were living with her at the time. Even though she was the one who wanted a grandchild so damn bad she was hassling us until I got pregnant.

While I was bed ridden while pregnant She constantly bad mouthed me to everyone behind my back and even told people that I ate all her food even though I barely ate at the time since I couldn’t keep anything down. Not to mention my fiance paid for my food, not her.

It was her number one goal to get rid of me so her son would go back to taking care of her and only her like a slave. She often succeeded with past relationships he’s has but I am very stubborn and won’t give up someone I love beyond all reason just cuz she wants a servant.

The stress, starvation and smoke inhalation drove us to get emergency assistance and get on welfare so we could get away from that house. She tried to spend all our cash on herself which I didn’t allow.

When we finally got away after her attempts at blackmail and guilt trips aimed at her son in attempts to keep him with her and have just me out of the house. It didn’t stop her from harassing us with constant phone calls and she would freak out if one of her calls weren’t answered.

Once the baby was born she wanted constant access to her and even forced her way into the hospital the day after I gave birth when I didn’t want visitors.

For a long time she fought us about not smoking when she came up to see our baby and to this day complains.

Our daughter is completely terrified of her because she smells horrible and she always yells while talking to her as if our baby couldn’t hear well. The way she walks up to our daughter its as if she is stalking her which terrifies her, and her face alone scares her because it looks like something out of a horror film (since she never takes care of herself)

Our daughter loves people and will accept anyone to hold her and loves attention but when she screams in fear at the sight of her grandmother, the MIL tries to blame it on her “making strange”

I wish I could just end all contact for good but that will only cause more trouble then what we have to deal with for now, such as finding where we work and getting us fired with lies or having CAS on us again with lies. She will go to all lengths to try to ruin our lives and have our child taken away from us.

All I hope for is that when our precious daughter learns to speak that she will tell her grandmother that she hates her and never wants to see her. Then the MIL from hell will have no excuse and we can get rid of her for good!

I could carry on with how much stress she has put on me but I will end things as they are, but believe me when I say she is by far the worst MIL anyone will come across.

She decides to have an afternoon sleep on the weekend but for a change sleeps on my bed in my bedroom. I dont have anything else to take off this except that she is trying to keep me and my husband apart.

In an another instance she was sleeping in between me and my husband on afternoon.

This is just one of the millions of evil things she does to me…

When my Mum had cancer, she grilled me again and was really quite mean until I had to turn away sobbing. When we lost our baby, she was at another sons house looking after them cos the wife had a cesarian, wow! She didn’t give a crap about us, she just stayed there. She is so mean she told her friend off for offering to buy my friend and I a coffee when we bumped into them at a garden centre.

When I had my second baby, I was so despressed I felt like she was trying to take her away from me and everything she does good comes from my Husband to be and everything bad must be from me of course.

I only work part time now and it’s my fiance’s 30th coming up, I asked them if they could make a contribution towards the food and they were so nasty to me, made me feel like I was asking if I could rob them blind. It wasn’t for me, it was for their son. They said they didn’t see why they should have to pay for anyone to eat including themselves and they don’t do that sort of thing and it is my responsibility.

I have started standing up to her, in a diplomatic way, but so that the bitch can read between the lines. Also I just had an operation and my stitches are really sore, she has done nothing to help us at all, I think they have made their feelings about me more than clear. Also they’ve added an extra suit onto our wedding budget, isn’t that kind of them? She has always spelt my name wrong, I’m sure it’s deliberate. She thinks she can compete with me and has even copied some of my clothes and make-up. She is spoilt, expects all the time and even asks people to give her money for her birthday, the most selfish person I know. On me and my fiance’s first holiday together, his parents just turned up completely unannounced. They think they can do it all the time now, and the cheek they say they were just passing by because you normally follow people, stalkers!

I can’t wait until she needs help or when she’s old, she’ll get sweet nothing from me.

Any better ideas on how to deal with her?

I put up with a lot from my MIL who made it clear that I wasn’t good enough for her son from the beginning. Normally I wouldn’t roll over so easily, but social rules in England are complex and you can’t just tell someone where to go regardless of what they’ve done or you become the outcast. I also didn’t want to cause problems for my husband, even though he never once stood up for me. Christmas 2007, however, was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

We spent xmas in England with his family. Regardless that I was very homesick, she went out of her way to make me feel unwelcome and ruin my xmas. In the span of 48hrs she did the following:

1 – I arrived with homemade cinamon rolls and she told me to “take them away” whilst flapping her hands at me, then proceeded to put them in the boiler room so no one would eat them

2 – Refused to thank me for sending flowers on the 22nd to console her when their home was broken into and her jewelry box stolen

3 – Told me I had no right to bring a bottle of champagne, but my BIL and his girlfriend brought all their extra vegetables from their fridge and that was perfectly acceptable… (champagne also landed in the boiler room next to my cinamon rolls)

4 – I had recently had my hair cut short and she took one look at me and said “Oh, you cut your hair. That’s cutting off your feminity.”

5 – Actually, grabbed my hand and took the cracker out of it then whisked the bowl off the table, telling me I would spoil my dinner at 3 in the afternoon on xmas eve (dinner that night was some sort of beef/rice slop with NO flavour or eve salt)

6 – Literally shouted at me for getting eraser shavings on the floor during a game of Cranium, then ran for the vaccuum, as if I had dumped acid on a Persian rug

7 – Refused to say thank you for her gift (£120 of products from L’Occitane)

8 – Called me a “stupid twit” on Christmas morning whilst I was helping her pick up all the paper after opening gifts… Why? …because I had spent my extra day off looking through boutuques and bought her an antique broche to help her re-start her jewelry collection

9 – Accused me of saying the prosecco she bought wasn’t good enough (complete fabrication)

10 – We had purchased our first home 2months before, and she continually criticised our new home because my BIL had bought a flat for less money… (he bought a 2 bed flat in a less than desireable area, we bought a detached house that has been converted from part of Richmond Palace)

11 – Purposely put parsnips in with the turkey because I have an intolerance to them

12 – She told me it was ok to bring my cat and kitten with me (both indoor) and then left the dividing door open so her semi-stray ginger tom would attack them – my poor adult cat sustained injuries and long-term stress – I can’t prove she did it on purpose, but I know it.

13 – Refused to appologise for her behaviour when my husband asked her to and then said she was justified to do what she did because I went to bed on xmas eve without saying goodnight and I was the one who should appologise to her!!!!

After that… the solution to me was obvious… If you have a toxic person in your life, remove them, no matter who they are. No one deserves to be treated so terribly. My husband isn’t happy about the situation, but he can’t argue against my decision and I’m pleased to say that I’ve not had the disspleasure of my MIL since.

My quality of life is much improved as a result