Mother-in-Law HELL

She’s not in prison, she’s never even been charged with anything, but I’m pretty sure my MIL is a black widow.

My husband and I have been married a little over 6 years, and I feel VERY lucky that I’ve only had to see the woman twice in that time, so I can’t really complain about her being a bad mom-in-law to me personally…but the woman’s nuts, and I wouldn’t wanna have anything to do with her anyway.

My husband is the youngest of 12 kids. In fact, he’s the youngest by nearly two decades…he was a menopause baby. Both his parents had been married before and raised kids with their respective former spouses before getting together a little later in life and having him. So, he’s the only child of both his parents, and his closest sibling was graduating high school when he was born.

His dad married and divorced once before…

My MIL and I started off to a shaky start, but I never would have imagined the kind of crap that’s been going on in our relationship.

When my husband and I were dating I was trying hard to get to know them and be liked by my MIL in particular, because she wears the pants in the household. One time I told them that I loved them like they were my own parents. My husband wasn’t there and so they laughed at me and told me I was an idiot and get out of their house.

Once my husband (then boyfriend) was moving some furniture and he got stuck with something on the stairs and he asked me to go around to their house to get some help since they were always making him do renovations on their house. Anyway, they told me where to go and immediately called my husband…

Back-story: DH was thrown out of home when he was 16, because he stood up to his alcoholic parents when they abused me whilst they were drunk, and then when they tried to force me out of his life (because they wouldn’t admit they had been in the wrong) he refused to stop seeing me.
Fast-forward a few months: My dad had taken DH in to live with us, as he had nowhere to go (his parents turned his whole family against him). We were all trying to get back to normal, and avoid DH family (despite the fact THEY had thrown DH out, and told him to never come back, and he wasn’t ‘part of their family’ anymore .. they continually harassed, stalked, and verbally abused us).
It was midnight and my cellphone rang. I woke up and answered it .. it was DH mother (now my MIL): she was drunk…

My boyfriend and I started dating a while ago, and my FMIL was always very nice to me. I thought it was weird that when he still lived with her she would still do things like fold his underwear and send in his bills for him, but I loved him and I decided that everyone is entitled to these things, she is his mother after all.

About 6 months ago, we took the next step and moved in together. Ever since then, this woman has become progressively more volatile and recently it has all come to a head.

It all started with the snide comments: during Christmas I was out of town so she suggested that he invite his former girlfriend over to take my place…haha…not. She told him that it was a terrible idea for us to move in together and actually cried when he said that he was going to.…

My DH and I have had trouble with his alcoholic, crazy, abusive parents since we first met, and they disapproved violently when we got engaged. Our wedding was 2 months ago, and guess what .. it was the most perfect, special day … and d’you know what went so right about it? We didn’t tell the in-laws about it, or invite them, or involve them in it at all … we’ve cut them out of our lives completely, and have never been happier

My MIL is an alcoholic: a VERY abusive alcoholic, who either doesn’t realise how destructive she is when she’s drunk, or else can’t admit it. My FIL is an ex-alcoholic, and is now a severe binge-drinker: also a VERY abusive drunk. They have hurt my DH and me so so so so much when they’ve been drunk: the things they’ve said are unbelievable. The lies and fantasies they’ve created to hurt us are so perverse. I don’t know much about alcoholics, but I presume that this is what it does to you.
Anyway, I’d like some advice from people who have experience with alcoholics: how do you get help for them? And also, do they know what they’ve done when they’re drunk? Do they realise they have said/done things that only a mentally ill person would do? How do you approach them: we’ve tried broaching the subject, but my MIL says…

The first time my MIL revealed the devil within her was her birthday party …  She and her husband got drunk beyond belief, and started staggering up to my DH and me, and making obscene, threatening sexual comments to us. They were talking to us as if we were having sex right there in front of them, when in fact we were playing with the 5/6 year old children there (!?). It was too much for my DH, and he was shaking and white as a sheet. I tried to stay strong for him, but when his father made a particularly vile comment to me, I started having a panic attack, and crying uncontrollably. DH’s aunt comforted me, while my MIL screamed and shouted at me to get into the kitchen and talk to her. When she had been forcibly moved away from me, my DH and me held each…