Okay, this happened years ago, but I’m still reeling from the effects. When my DH and I started dating, his mother was still friendly with DH’s Ex. She and my MIL ended up having a very strange friendship that was fueled by their hatred of me. Anyway, that resulted in my MIL hating me to a point where she forbid me from being in her home and just generally made my life a living hell! DH and I finally got married and she started saying things like, “Well, now that you’re married I guess I have to deal with you”…nice, huh? DH and I have been married for almost five years and she seems to believe that everything is fine because she decided to “flip” and “deal with me” one day. After she made that decision, I’m no longer allowed to talk about our problems or get any answers to the questions that have been plaguing me for years! I’m so angry! This woman ruined my dating relationship, made my wedding a horrible experience, and generally made my life a living Hell for years. Any suggestions on how to get over this? I’ve contemplated therapy already, maybe that’s what I should do and send her the bill, yeah?
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4 Responses to “Please Help”
I understand. Something about son’s and their Mothers! I don’t understand it really. But all I can say is the husband needs to back you up. My mother in law does stuff without my husband around than acts totally different when he is not around. My problem is that I was convinced after 15 yrs together with my Husband to move on my mother inlaws property. Boy was that the biggest mistale of my life. Now I really thinking everyday for her to go away. I know this isn’t good, but I see her as evil. I will neer be good enough for her, even though hubby and I are Happy. Happier than she will ever be. I know thats mostly her problem, she is miserable, jealous of me having Good things that she never had at My age. So I say to you, be strong and Hold your ground.
It’s not your problem, it’s hers. Cut her out of your life. Your DH should do the same if wants to keep you as wife.
Your situation reminds me of mine. Yes I think you should reach out for help. There are professionals out there who have seen it all. That is what I am doing. I am starting this week. I kept her of my back for years. Now she is back and I don’t think that I can deal with it on my own.
I have been in a similar situation. Some experts say ‘do not forget but forgive which does not mean necessarily reconciliation’… Therapy helps, self-therapy even helps better to get over. But the real key is not have very close and intimate relationship which is hard for me but it pays back to feel even… Good luck1