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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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I don't know how long it's been since I've posted here, so maybe I'll give a recap and update in one. We moved to another country, in great part, to be closer to my in-laws. For years I enjoyed only having to see them once a year for a few weeks when they would visit us, but here I am in their country, reeling from being terrorized and tormented during the three-and-a-half months we spent living under their roof when we first arrived.

I foolishly thought they'd be happy we moved here, as I always assumed that one of the reasons they always hated me was because their son moved across the planet to be with me. It turns out they are just miserable people (which, granted, I did figure that part out long ago) and are he!! bent on blaming me for every hind-quarters itch they might suffer from. In essence, they never gave me a chance and rejected me out-of-hand from the beginning, and I've spent the last 12 years dealing with passive-aggressiveness as well as out-right aggressiveness from them. My SIL and BIL are also active players in this fun little game of "Let's crap on Cat".

Well, we live an hour-and-a-half away, but clearly that's still not far enough as I still have to see them every few weeks (although I have been sitting it out more and more regularly, going about 80% No Contact since I'll make an exception for holidays and birthdays).

So, I just spent a "lovely" afternoon with these fine folk at a local park (it was a neutral place where we could have the kids do an egg hunt). I scheduled it for Saturday because I didn't want them to rain on our enjoyment of the actual day. My FIL showed up with his usual stick in his hind quarters, giving us the silent treatment (when he wasn't busy shooting icy glares my way or just getting up and walking off on some random walk around the neighborhood instead of spending quality time hunting for eggs with his grandchildren). My MIL was fairly stand-off-ish and my aunt-in-law (AIL) felt the need to make dumb comments about the fact that my autistic daughter gets nervous if we hop into a car without a good destination. She gets anxious, and apparently my AIL simply couldn't wrap her mind around this fact (this came up because my AIL kept asking if I had managed to see every single site in the city in the 6 short months I've lived in this country. Umm, no, not yet. Sorry, but we've been busy, and it's a pretty big city! Give us a break! She criticized me for not just aimlessly wandering around the city till I knew it like the back of my hand. I explained that's not practical with an autistic child who likes to know exactly where we are going and who gets overstimulated if you try to squeeze too many activities into one day. That seemed to boggle my AIL. Maybe she should study up on autism? Who knows. Anyway...

Then from the park we went to a local Chinese place for dinner, where my FIL continued to give us the silent treatment (Oh, but he spent exactly 60 seconds ticking my daughter, so, you know, all should be forgiven, right?). This is the same man who has still not come to see our new apartment, doesn't call or txt his son AT ALL to see how his job search has been going, how the kids are doing, etc. For the record, I'm not personally complaining that this miserable, wretched man doesn't visit. I just find it interesting that these people claim to have so much love and interest in their grandkids and in their son. They did nothing but talk about me behind my back for YEARS about how I somehow must have put a gun up to their son's head to get him to move to my country to marry me, and naturally I also ruined his life because he chose a college degree and a job that interested HIM, and not the one his parents wanted for him. It's all my fault for telling my husband to follow his heart. God, what a horrible wife I am.

Anyway, so that about catches us up. Oh, I forgot to mention that we've decided to move out of the area as soon as is comfortably possible. My husband is working on ensuring a relocation (hopefully several thousands of miles away) with his employer in a couple of years, and then we'll leave and never look back on this town (except possibly at Christmas). This experiment of living closer to them clearly failed, so we'll just focus on some of our other goals for moving here and make those happen (ie. career and travel goals).


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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!