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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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Im so glad I am not a lone in the hell of the mother in law. This is really long and im sorry.
Let me start from the deginning. My husbant and are where best friends growing up. So i've knowen him for a vary long time. Before getting marrieed I took a trip to visited and live with him for just over a month. (He is in the military and got stationed somewhere els) With already seed MIL living in the house. It was no big deal when visiting. Everything ran smothily no problems at all, almost like just having a room mate.
After my trip, he took leave to speend more time with me and flew back home with me. By this time we were engaged and we desided to get married on this trip.
When we moved me out there and got back the distruction started to happen. Fitghting, passive agresseve behavior, yelling, slaming doors, almost anything that makes me uncompfterbol she has done or is doing.
My husbant and I are in our 20's living with a 45year old women with cronic migrans.
Nothing can be down endless it is on her schdual. Anything from watching tv to doing the dishes can start a fight.
The most resent one was over laundry. Getting all histraical saying she didn't know we where doing our laundry sepret and that we should ask to use HER washer and dryer. When all we did was sort the it to prep the laundy and find his dirty uniforms.
The fight three moths before resulted in surety forces and my husbants officers getting involed. The &$*%? military got involed. This resulted in a come to Juses meeting and a time line for her moving out and how to get there. The only problem is every week sens that meeting something always comes up where she can't get her income agusted so she can move out. She Also refuses to talk about her move out data or just tells us "it will be taken care of".
Orginaly befire I moved out there she was supose to move out after Thanksgiving, but that passed. The military meeting Came to the conclution that March, April time would be the goal data for thats when our lease is up.
My MIL lives rent, water, food, almost any housing exspence free. We even give her money for gas in her car and almost anything els she may need help with. She has no job, won't find one. All her income comes from soscial secrity disability.
He has been living with her for two years and I only six months. But I am at my wits end. I can't leave my room for it makes too much noise. Talking when my husbant is home is a hasel becuase I can't talk at my nornal voice for its too loud and I will be told to be quiet. And forget about being on the phone, not only will it be to noise but she hovers and listens in on ever converstaion. I can't even call my own mother endless im out side of the house. Worst of all whem my husbant brought this to her attention all she had to say is that that is my problem. My problem? That I have to wisper to have a converstion to try and apease someone who makes living at home stressful to now end.
I am a people pleaser, I dont like conflict and prefure to talk thing out. But when some won't talk and just gives us dirty looks walks off and slams doors.
The longer my MIL is here the less communication my husbant and I have. It has but so much strain on our relationship i don't know what to do any more.

Please sound out words when trying to spell them. There are so many mistakes

Jb commented 2 years ago

Thank you Kristen. My hubby amd I have talked seans I posted this, and we did talk it out and things have gotten much better in our realation ship. MIL is still with use but we havw given her notice of when she beed to move out and have made planse for out moving data as well. It has made my MIL hate me but I could not play peace maker anymore. I still stay respectful to her and never mean but it is what it is. Angain thank you.

Maureen commented 3 years ago

Take your husband out on a date night and tell him everything! Every single detail must be shared and when you are done telling him, ask him if he has a solution to this huge problem. Tell him that you feel like your relationship is getting strained and that you don't want that to happen. Don't make yourself sound to victimized. He might think that you are overreacting. Tell him that you are frustrated with the circumstances instead of accidentally making yourself sound like a crybaby. This is a serious problem that must be dealt with by being fully honest with each other. After all, marriage is about Loving and taking care of each other. If your relationship is worth having, you should be able to tell him about your MiL!

Kirsten commented 3 years ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!