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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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My mil likes to talk about what a failure my husband was at school in front of our two kids, and how 'clever' her 3 other children were including the golden child sil who she talks about all of the time. She will spend as little time at our house as possible, talking about sil and her 'brilliant' children the whole time. If I try to talk to my fil - a really nice guy - she says 'oh I used to pretend to like my fil too', or 'oh she doesn't want to hear about that.' She talks over everyone and never listens just reloads ready to go herself. She recently tried to ride over one of my plans for our family to facilitate her golden sil, but when I challenged it she went ahead and turned up at our house anyway. I asked her not to tell anyone about my miscarriage - she told everyone. If I tell the sil something she immediately tells the mother and visa versa - my husband says that's just women, they gossip, but we never hear a thing about sil's ptivate life. I am so miserable, I thought when you married it was your man's role to put his wife first but he says that I have made it so that he is uncomfortable seeing his family as though it is somehow my fault - is it?

No it is not your fault! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Your husband needs to get tough and stand up for you. It's very nice of you to babysit for SIL but they are just taking advantage of you and obviously have no respect for you so I say stop helping them. Start telling them you have something else to do when they ask for your help. Trust me no amount of babysitting and help you give them will make them respect you. Stay away from these people as much as possible. Don't talk about them in front of your husband and eventually he will realize how they always seem to talk badly about you, yet you never do that to them (if he doesnt realize it then wait a while and simply point that out to him) You will look like the bigger and better person in his eyes (which you clearly are!) and maybe then he will start standing up for you. If he doesn't stand up for you then I'm sorry but that's not much of a marriage and you should consider going to counseling or leaving him. You do not deserve to be miserable and treated badly! I wish you the best!

Rose commented 3 years ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!