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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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Open Letter To My FIL

Oh B., you really just make it too easy. You see, your constant ignoring and treating my husband and kids poorly is only going to make it worse for you in the long run. You think you are punishing ME by ignoring THEM, when in reality you only make it easier for me to justify the eventual cut-off that is right around the corner. When will you realize that I don't want your money, and I don't want your land? What I wanted was something you could never give: your love. You withheld that from day one, first from me, then from the kids, and finally from my husband.

You have finally beaten me down to the point where I just want to get my kids, my husband, and myself as far away from you as possible, and to not look back. That is where this is heading, you do realize that, right? You have hurt us all for long enough, and now that you have foolishly been so blatant about taking it out on my kids and my husband (when most likely your real hatred is saved mostly for me), you have sealed your own fate. You will no longer have grandchildren who give you a second thought.

You've done a pretty good job of alienating your son as well.

One day, and Lord forgive me for saying that I hope it is not too far in the future, you will be gone. As I said, I don't want a freaking thing from you - but I do think the right thing to do would be to provide something for your grandchildren upon your eventual demise.

You can only sit atop your pile of gold for so long. You cannot take it with you, Old Man. Your privileged daughter doesn't need it, and your ignorant, drunken, racist, womanizing youngest son doesn't deserve it. These are your only grandchildren (well, until Baby Boy finally rolls the roulette wheel one too many times and knocks someone up). They deserve at least something from you....since clearly you refuse to make that something be LOVE. The lease you can do is provide a college education for them. I wonder if you've even considered them in your will....or have you already ensured that Baby Boy gets it all?

It matters not, to be honest. I didn't fight for the money my step-father swindled me out of from my mother's estate, and I won't go to battle for your money, either. You see, at the end of the day, it's blood money one way or the other. You cannot buy your grandchildren's love. If you manage to do the right thing and leave them something, trust me they will only think about it as money for college....because you have left them very few good memories of YOU that will be attached to that money.

How sad, isn't it? You've pushed and you've pushed, and you are now going to reap what you have sown.

I came here for some very specific reasons. Yes, I was hoping it would mean my kids would enjoy some time with their grandparents...but since that clearly isn't working, I now will focus on the other reasons I came. Financial reasons that will ultimately save me from certain financial traps I was once in, thanks to certain sweet benefits I can now utilize.

One day, those traps will be far behind me, and so will you be. I love my husband, and truly hope he opens his eyes a little more to what you have continued to do to him, his wife, and his children....and one day, it will be US who win out in the end.

Does it bother you that we could care less about your money? We could care less about your status (that is, of course, before you retired...and now, my friend, you are nothing without your job title but an angry, gout-ridden old man). We were hoping for something you simply never would understand: unconditional love and acceptance.

That's OK, B. We will give that to our kids ourselves...but if you think I will not tell my children how horrible you were, you are sadly mistaken. I want them to realize that their grandfather could give 2 $#!ts about anything except himself (and his drunken youngest son). I want them to realize what a disappointment you are. What a pathetic, small, ignorant man you are.

My father is way more of a grandfather to these kids...not that it would be hard to improve upon you. We have friends who are more of a family to us and our kids than you and your crew of ignoramuses have been. OK, I will give your wife the smallest bit of credit for showing SOME interest and caring in these kids - you know, periodically when it was convenient and for approximately 10 minutes per visit. But sure, I'll give her credit for those 10 minutes. The rest of you, however, get no such credit.

I hope you die a lonely, miserable man...one who realizes that his prodigy has moved far away from him (because that's the 5 year plan, my friend). I hope you realize how far you pushed your son away - a gentle man who loved you and idolized you...and now, all he feels is disconnect, disappointment, and sadness at the very thought of you.

If all of this makes you proud in any way, may karma find you one day and show you all the wasted time that could have been spent loving these beautiful children, your wonderful son, and your daughter-in-law - who only ever wanted to be loved by you.

It is rare to wish someone to leave this planet, but I find myself feeling that way about you. You have just hurt us all so much, that I can only imagine we'll ever feel any real semblance of peace only when you are finally gone. You took a family of wonderful people (us) who only wanted to love you, and made us apathetic and sad. Bravo, my friend, Bravo.


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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!