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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

If you are looking for a place to find support, seek advice, laugh a bit, and maybe resolve your mother-in-law issues, look no further!
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My husband is from another country, and I can understand his native language but only speak a few words. I am a full time student and a mom to a 1 year old. We share an apartment with his older single brother who looks down on me and despises me. He insists to be my husband's #1 relationship and does not allow me to join in on family conversations. He is verbally abusive to me. My mother in law came to stay with us for 2 months. They spoke about me often in their language when I was in the room in a horrible way. She not only condoned his behavior, but she turned into a wild hyena and screamed at me to get out of my own home. My husband backed her up. I came back but I don't know what to do.

She kicked you out of your own home, your husband backed her up and you came back to live in that mess? That's an awful way to live and its even sadder for your child to be in the middle of that type of behavior. I'm sure you would be heartbroken if your child grows up and ends up being treated by his or her new family that way so please for the love of your child make some serious changes to your life. History does tend to repeat itself in one way or another so don't let your kid stay in an environment where grandma has the power to kick mommy out and daddy stands behind grandma. You and baby deserve better. People like that will never change so try your best to get away from them. The longer you wait the harder it will be to get away. I wish you the best.

Rose commented 3 years ago

Were it not for your son, I would say to leave. Having a child does make it more difficult. Certain cultures place a huge emphasis on immediate family, not the wife. It is unfortunate and it sounds like you are stuck in the middle of that exact problem. If you do not plan on leaving (it is easier to leave sooner, rather than later when you have a child, trust me on this), then please be careful. I would hate to have you become emotionally abused and manipulated, which can happen easily when you are with someone who puts their blood family over you. Stay strong, don't let them control you. Find friends and family who can help. Don't feel bad or weak if you have to ask for help from them if it comes to that. There is not an easy fix or answer and if couples therapy is out, then you need to really contemplate what you want and what you will have to do to get that. Take care.

Jen commented 3 years ago

You don't just have an in-law problem, you have a husband problem. I'm sorry :(

Cat commented 3 years ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!