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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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I been with my husband for 3 years married, my mother in-law lives in hawaii and comes to visit in illinois were me and my husband live. when she comes to visit she stays in her own apartment building in which she owns. but now she wants to stay in my house when she comes to visit ..... which is for 3 weeks to 6 months. i already dont get along with her and i don\\\'t want her to stay in my house. im fighting with my husband bc my husband doesnt see a problem with his mother staying with us when she comes to visit. its my house and i don\\\'t feel comfortable with her staying in my house for weeks . i already dont get along with her and im extremly stressed out , im crying every night please help me... my husband says he will divorce me if i dont let his mother stay with us when she visits, i dont want her in same house as me as she is controlling, and makes me cry, . please help me what do i do?

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JOY SAMAON commented 2 years ago

Do not let your monster MIL abuse you! Do not let your husband abuse you by just being a stupid by stander. Leave him now or you will waste years of time eventfully you will still leave him, she may live to her 90th, so do not bet that soon she will be gone and you will be relieved. Sick, twisted, abusive MIL takes advantage of every situation and one day you married to the man who does not support you, one day of your own life wasted!!! Do not do that to yourself!

L commented 2 years ago

Men are stupid. Aren't they? They think their mothers are saints while they are really monsters to their wives. Leave him if he does not support you!

L commented 2 years ago

Tell your husband: Ok divorce me, then marry your mother because apparently your already married to her if you can discount your wife. I highly doubt he divorces you, but if he does, good for you. You don't need to be married to a man who blatantly disregards you.

IEM commented 2 years ago

This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until I met a post where this man DR OLOKUM have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His

jones commented 3 years ago

I have the same problem. The first thing my husband does if I even remotely look like standing up to my MIL is threaten to divorce me. I am thinking next time I will take him up on his offer..honestly, a man who is so manipulated by his mother and completely lacks a backbone or balls really isn't a turn on....just saying....

Anonymous commented 3 years ago

Carol's comment is fantastic and spot on. I totally agree with her assessment based on her own situation. Don't be bullied and face the facts, otherwise it will just weaken your spirit in the long run. This is a bad situation, but you will make it worse if you do not take control.

Jen commented 3 years ago

If you love husband and he won't budge at this time.....I can say with the eyebrows of an understatement, my husband and I have been through that. While his selfishness is out of line and obviously not the choice of a loving giving husband...he is not doomed to stick to this decision forever. In my husband's case his mom had done things I would wait ten years to learn to him and had hung the threat of continuing the abuse or telling me over his head using her own presence or her other children. As abuse can do, his had caused a deep shame and fear of exposure. He also was being treated like he mattered for the very first time in his life because she was trying to edge me out and he was confused and felt a bit needy about it. He is an extreme story....she is a malignant narcissist, catty and rude and manipulative and aggressive and pushy and with a lack of boundaries you could feel sicken your stomach by the sheer force of her energy. I fought him on her every visit for years.I struggled through every encounter...I was a child victim myself and not equipped to handle a predator with dignity since my parents taught me to take toxic behavior. Seven or eight years in I began to get my feet. I'd smile when she would make an insinuation, apologize when she'd hint at an infraction, put her first and overlook her nastiness. It at times disarmed her, other times pleased her, and sometimes nothing pleased her so I minimized the days contact and kept my argument maker firmly shut. I stopped challenging my husband on seeing her...and once I did two things happened. He got fed up to his eyeballs with her now that he had no wife egging on his ego by opposing him on whose family got go be around, and he started to say things like "I don't know how you handle her so well. I had to leave the room an hour ago."
I didn't keep things smooth to be a doormat, I made a choice of courage to look her nastiness and fake smiles full on and be nice anyway. To pretend everything is OK is to be a doormat. To argue and fight is to be controlled by your mils emotional manipulation. To acknowledge her bad behavior has no excuse and no redeeming qualities and be nice anyway is to be the baddest bitch of them all. It takes a tough cookie to know someone doesn't deserve you keeping peace with them but doing it for the sake of the environment of all involved and your own peace of mind. Take breaks. Take walks. Assign yourself timeouts and bath times and book breaks and hideouts. He's not putting you first I know. But if you could find the strength to give him what he shouldn't be asking for it won't go unnoticed for long unless he is a monster.

Carol commented 3 years ago

Tell him to go ahead and get the lawyer ... Mamas boy

Pam commented 3 years ago

Without your husband to defend you against her, you are a sitting duck. He needs to help keep her in line, or she needs to stay somewhere else.

Cat commented 3 years ago

Hw will never put you first, go ahead and see a lawyer. get out and get a MAN who will put your concerns first.

Tracy commented 3 years ago


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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!