Uh, ok. Where do I start? My MIL also has a passive aggressive personality. She has no friends, her kids can't be around her for very long with out it dissolving into screaming and tears. Most of her grandkids hate her, mine doesn't only because she has no choice but to.
My SO is her youngest son. We eloped about 3 years into our relationship. I proposed. We didn't want a wedding. we didn't tell anyone for almost 2 months. I'm VERY private. He just has a shite memory. When we did tell, it was with no fanfare, no gushing. Just "Sooo, we got ya know married...yeah". Pissed her off. Said I took away the joy of a wedding. I said I never wanted one. Blah Blah. We got over it. She keeps bringing it up SO and I keep slapping that shite down. Leave it alone. What's done is done. Your were not involved. Get over it.
Before SO and I were married me and MIL were cool with each other. She forgot about me more often then not. I faded into the background. When the girl was born shite went wrong. I had very bad Post Partum Depression. SO had no clue what to do about it. He told me to 'suck it up to the gut'. I was sad, tired, and angry all the time. She insisted we move in with her to save money for our house. It's been damn near 10 years. I don't know my child because I can only have (what seems like) supervised visits with her. She undermines everything I say. I've just ran away from her and her bullshite. She wants me to engage but I refuse. Says snide little things that makes my child doubt me. I just recently decided to fight back. She told me she didn't want to see, her, or think I was in her house. I'm banned from going upstairs. That's where the kitchen and shower is. It's hot as balls, I wont be denied a shower. I took one. She wanted me and all my things gone. I let EVERYTHING off my chest. Evil old b!tch bully. I don't care if we have to struggle right now. I'm going to learn my child and love my husband again. I don't care if I gotta live in my car. We'll be free.