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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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I come from a culture where most people live with their in laws. My husband's family has always been dysfunctional and my problems have always been there with my pushy mother in law but after the baby it's been so difficult.

I have a stressful job and often have to work 3 hours after normal office hours. I was suggested bed rest by my doctor which i could not due to demanding work. My mother in law everyday complained about me not helping out in the house. And as if that was not enough, to add to the stress she was complaining about "the baby shower that my mother is going to hold should be at her house" and similar issues.

She believes that the baby should be kept as hot as possible. On the day my dd was borne, she put the a.c. at 30 degrees c, then covered her in warm clothes and swaddled her. Then their were 4 more blankets. When the baby cried and I insisted to switch of the a/c she came up with "oh n you think you know everything dialogue". There was coal in the room I slept for good 15 days to keep tge room warm and when I tried to say it's harmful, she cut me midway and said "You just watch". She used to feel my breasts and say they are not full, you are not producing enough milk as if I am a machine she was checking.

Now after 3 months she has a point on everything. It's 33 degree c outside and we live in topmost floor of a concrete house. She insists i put socks and cap on, does not let me bathe my daughter indoor, insists dd should be put in the sun, insists on double layer clothing then has an opinion about how long i should hold her, how often i should feed her. She even insists my pumped milk should be heated to feed my daughter.

I am returning back to work tomorrow and will have to leave my dd with her. She feels offended when I don't do according to her and has talked about this with everyone in her family and is planning to talk to my mom to ask her to talk to me. She has to be in charge. Now, when I leave dd behind i am sure she is not going to listen to me.

My in laws are separated, my mil is unemployed and old (She claims to be one n she is not even 55). My husband is the only son, so can't leave my alone. My husband says nothing to her and when I ask him why, he says " she isn't going to understand, you are the more one, please adjust." MIL does not agree for a nanny or to leave dd with my mother. I am not sure if this is post partum depression or what but I feel overly cranky, want to cry all the time and feel so not in control.

I just wish my daughter would be treated as my and my husband's daughter first then her grand child. It's getting too much for me to handle.

You need to start saying NO to her more often. She may be able to live with you, but she is NOT the boss of your home. Let her know that!

Me commented 1 year ago

Just because it's culture/tradition to live with her doesn't mean you have to. She is abusing you and endangering your daughter. You should move back to your mothers.

Opal commented 1 year ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!