I have been married almost 30 years. My mother-in-law was hurtful from day one, making rude comments out of the earshot of other family members about the size of my butt (telling my toddler daughter in a diaper "You have a fat hiney just like your mommy", the way I decorated my house, the way I raised our children, calling my parents "cheap", you name it, think of "Everybody Loves Raymond" on steroids. I don't know how her husband tolerated her behavior because she was always so mean and condescending to him, I actually felt sorry for him. He was a sweet man, he adored his grandchildren, and they adored him. With them he was able to get and give all the love and affection that was missing in his marriage. I silently tolerated her behavior because I needed and trusted her to watch our kids when they were young because we both had to work. She overstepped many boundaries, ipurposely feeding my kids candy when I explicitly forbade it, cutting my son's hair before his first birthday knowing my families' tradition of getting their 1st haircut on their first birthday. I swallowed my pride to keep the peace. I knew she was really a weak woman underneath that bitch exterior. She married right out of HS, still lived with her parents and never spent a night alone even though she was over 70 years old! She was so afraid to fly that when one of her son's was in a life and death situation she stayed home, I lost so much respect for her but never threw it in her face, I knew I was so much stronger than her despite her false bravado and I did not need to stoop to her level to feel superior. She was racist bigot, calling mixed race children "calico kids," telling me if we ever adopted children she could never love them as much as her"own" grandchildren, and threatened if we ever divorced I better never think of remarrying and bringing a man that was not my daughter's father into my home and that she would see her son would get full custody no matter what. Of course none of those rules applied when her other granddaughters were in that situation. But the kids are grown now and barely tolerate their grandmother because they see her for what she is (while still loving their favorite Pop Pop). Last year she said lashed out on a family member and I called her a TROUBLEMAKER. You would have thought I killed her dog, she not only cut off all contact with me, her son (my husband), and our children, but she forced her husband to do the same. That poor man would do anything to please her he agreed. She forced my adult son to "pick a side" and although he loved her he gave her the finger and walked out of her life forever while his Pop sat by silently. Although they are my husband's parents and we had a great relationship, or so I thought, he does not want anything to do with them either even though I begged him to resolve the dispute before they die (I am sure they thought he would leave me over this). They told my son their other son (the one she did not visit when no one knew if he would life or die) was only 8 hours away if she needed anyone. So now I am "off the hook" so to speak, I don't have to worry about taking them to doctor's appointments in their old age, shoveling their sidewalk, visiting them in a nursing home when the time comes. Still it saddens me that when one of them dies they have alienated a family that would have gone to the ends of the earth for either of them (even thought she didn't deserve it) and were right in the next town. But they are not my parents, they are not my problem, and now they are not my husband's problem either. All that over the word TROUBLEMAKER, absolutely ridiculous. She had proven that for sure. The sad thing is I know so many parents who lost their adult children to cancer and would do anything to have them in their life, and here BOTH OF THEM have chosen to cut off contact for an utterly ridiculous reason. My Go have mercy on their souls.