Had a massive fight with in laws yesterday
I had a baby two weeks and 4 days ago. On day 4 my inlaws visited our home. They stayed for four hours, ate (basically had a party), barged into my kitchen to get stuff...whilst I stayed upstairs as in pain (with fever) due to the stiches and milk coming in. I was waiting for them to leave so I could go into my kitchen, eat properly and get on with our routine - I.e. putting our 3 year old to bed and feeding feeding the newborn.
Mother in law cleaned kitchen etc and left food for me, but I hate that as I like to manage my own house.
As I say four hours on they were still there and all I wanted was a short visit so that they could see their new grandchild and get going.
Yesterday they visited again. Mother in law asked if they can come basically said she needs to see her loved ones. Bregugingly and keeping fear of God in heart I said yes.
Well.... Guess what. Father in law barged in on me and baby whilst I was breast feeding. They have key to our house and he let himself in with our nieces and nephews and the three year old and didn't even knock on the door. I was in shock and went ballistic.
What is amazing that as I had a worst experience with my first child, I had sat mother in law down before the birth and clearly explained to her that I require my space and privacy this time round.
We had a massive fight. Father in law said sorry in a massively patronising way. Mother in law just had ago at me. Saying they are sorry but my anger was not warranted. What she didn't understand that the constant advice over the years, trying to force herself as my mother, taking over my home (cleaning), telling me how I should look after my house, my kids, my marriage, my career as well - and now this, using the emergency key when I was at home... Was/ is last straw. Still very upset about it all. That make everything's so complex ....and act like they are so nice by cooking for us and cleaning and bringing presents for the boys - when I don't want all this "niceness" just my privacy so I can rest, recover and figure out my newborn child.
Sad that I lost my temper- as they say why bang your head against the wall? Will make no difference to them- they will continue to overstep the boundaries.