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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

If you are looking for a place to find support, seek advice, laugh a bit, and maybe resolve your mother-in-law issues, look no further!
At Mother-in-Law Hell you can swap MIL stories, give & get advice, and so much more. Join the Daughters-in-Law Sisterhood!
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Well, my MIL is trying some hoovering techniques with DH to try to suck him back into the fold by doing some love-bombing, doing a few "generous" things, and then daring to keep spreading well-wishes for MY holiday (4th of July - I'm an American, they are not and are very xenophobic about Americans). We're well aware that they hate me and everything I stand for, so to keep wishing us a happy 4th smacks of not only insincerity, but also shows how fake this whole thing is. DH is allowing it because it's easier than having a face-to-face confrontation with them (and we're moving 2,000 miles away from them in January...good riddance, f'ers!). He reckons we can do a full and total cut-off at that point. Well, I'm not waiting that long, so I've already gone NC with them and haven't spoken to any of them since MIL showed up unannounced last month (don't worry, DH made it clear to her afterwards that she'd be wise not to do that again).

Anyway, just chuckling at how obvious they're being with this whole hoovering thing. I was worried that it might be confusing DH, so I asked him his thoughts and he said "Oh, don't worry - I don't suddenly feel that everything is rainbows and sunshine. I don't forget all their sins of the past, and won't be forgetting just because they buy us a few things or inquire about a holiday they know only means something to YOU." They seem to always discount how intelligent this man is. I guess I also made the same mistake, because he seemed happy to accept the money they sent his way.

The funny thing is, I'd rather accept NOTHING from them, because I think it is dishonest to accept things from people whom I have zero respect for and who have zero respect for me in return. I feel that's a more honest way to live. It cuts out any game-playing on my part, right? Those people love to think of me as some kind of b!t@#, when in reality they just don't like how honest I am. If only they realized that DH is actually far worse than I am, when you think about it. Here he is accepting money and gifts from them when in reality he's lost all respect for them and is basically just taking what he can get.

Don't worry, I am not proud of DH for that attitude, but what can I do? His parents have been emotionally abusive to us for YEARS. I've been showing my anger towards them openly....I guess I can't fault him for how he's choosing to display his utter disdain and loss of respect for these people. I'll just be glad when the move happens.... 2,000 miles still won't be far enough away for my happiness, but it'll be a good start.


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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!