wow, some of the stories on here make me shudder. i guess i can’t complain THAT much, but then again, i’m new at this….recently was at my boyfriends’ parents’ place, and just got some really weird vibes from her. my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over a year, he just got a job where i live and will be officially moving in soon, he’s been living with his parents. i had his parents over for dinner recently and have been putting forth effort to get to know them. when we came over to his house recently, there was the tangible tension in the air of a mother who is projecting her own issues about letting her youngest son go. i don’t want to be too reactive and exacerbate anything, but i’m the type who finds it VERY hard not to speak my mind. i have a masters in psychology, have a great career, and feel that my opinion is valid, smart, and should be heard. at the same time, my own mother told me to bring it down a notch 
so, i guess this story is being written for preventative and proactive reasons mainly, so i don’t end up the predicament that most of you are in! who knows what’s to follow though…..
This post was submitted by illinoiswirl.
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8:27 am
it’s not that bad now bu again your are just boyfriend & girlfriend how about when your married & have kids?
1:26 am
I completely agree with mom1. All the issues that I have with my MIL started way back when my husband and I were first dating. They have only grown over the years and milestones…marriage, children. Keep your faith though, and Good Luck!!!!
6:53 am
I’ll listen to the veterans, and actually a close friend told me that the other day. on a good note, i had a very honest conversation with my boyfriend last night about the incident, telling him that i refuse to tamper my personality, i want her to see the real me, and either we present a united front or this will not work. he was very supportive. i know it must be hard to let your child “go” in a sense but, it’s damn time! also, my best friend brought up the point that we should not feel intimidated by these mothers b/c our husbands/boyfriends were born into them whereas they CHOSe us!
2:48 pm
I do beleive that mother-in-laws act this way out of an underlying behavior and thought. They want to protect thier sons because THEY KNOW FIRST HAND how women can be. Meaning, if they weren’t such manipulitive monsters in the first place, they wouldn’t have the guilt, causing them to act that way.
I know my MIL acts the way she does out of ignorance, jelousy and being self-conscious. She sees me as a competition, when there never was one to begin with.
I am educated, sucessfully self-employed, cook very well, can use power tools, fix my own car, manage money very well and have a HUGE heart for children. Mine and others. Kids love me even though I am a disiplinarian. I expect the best (with love) and get it from my husband, my freinds, and my children which in turn makes them successful in thier lives!
Having that attitude apparently pisses off the MIL. OOps!?!
Our probles here was that my sweet husband let my MIL and BIL get out of hand from the very beginning. Now that he finally saw the light and has stopped it, she is freakin fuming.
He told her this past Tuesday, “This is MY home. MY family and you will respect me for my choices. YOU don’t like that, then stay out of my business.” I thought her teeth would fall out! I was so proud of him…
NO one has ever stood up to her before and everyone is tired of hearing her garbage.
Stand tall dear! You have been trained and you know where to find a manual on bad Child/Adult behavior. Follow those tested rules!
12:39 am
Thanks so much for the input. I will be strong. Like you said, it’s all about the precedent being set from the get-go, and I’m trying to form patterns that I’m okay and that let my b/f know what I’m alright with also. Like you, I’m a strong person with a lot of good things going on for me, and I can see how that is intimidating to MIL’s. Good luck with your quest toward harmony in your family life!!
4:44 pm
RUN! It starts that way and sooner or later there is tension and tears. My mother is not like that toward my brother’s girlfriend. My MIL does the bait and switch. I am the evil “witch” that stole her son (baby) RUN RUN RUN!