Mother-in-law Hell

I posted a story on here a few weeks ago - Screw her pie, LOL.
I got pretty upset over the MIL’s hissy fit because I was too sick to go to her house for Thanks Giving & all she did was victimize me. She has her son by his balls, I had to pretty much yell at him to knock some sense in to him, he was scared to say no to her, I told him he could go but I’m not - I’m having contractions so he felt stuck in the middle. My body was so run down, I was puking and I started to have contractions and was told to bed rest by my midwife… but that wasn’t good enough for my MIL and she took it out on her son and the next day I heard about it, well kind of, LOL I got off the phone quick with her, I think she’s realizing she can’t get her way with me. Because of this, I’ve decided to stay with my parents for a little bit, I’m due next week so the stress of my MIL was just way too much. The phone calls and making me feel bad was just unreal. I have been happy since I haven’t spoke to her LOL. My DH has been visiting me as much as he can, for the most part he understands why I’m staying with my parents. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve spoken to my MIL, being only human…. I’m starting to feel guilty, she always asks my DH how I’m doing so I thought yesterday I would cave in & call her to “touch basis”, I thought it was the right thing to do, after all I’m carrying her grandchild. Sorry for the novel, she stresses me out & I need to vent. Anyways, so I called her yesterday & at first everything was good, I told her John - my husband, her son, was coming down to see me in a few hours. She asked what my plans were, I’m like oh nothing much, relaxing, taking it easy, I don’t get up too much because I’m 39 weeks pregnant lol. & of course, she said she was going to be “in the area” would you like me to come by… instead of saying “Hell no, I don’t want to see you, I was just calling to be nice!” I should of said that but that’s just mean lol … I made up an excuse, I told her I was going grocery shopping with my parents, I’m not sure what time I’m going to be home, then we’re going out for dinner and John - DH, will be coming with us. So the WITCH says oh thats no problem, I can meet you at the restaurant. I’m sorry but if I haven’t invited you, why invite yourself? I guess she doesn’t have what you call common sense. For a woman that works in a bank, she knows numbers very well but lost touch with reality? So I tried with another excuse saying I’m sorry, I’ll have to look in to it with my parents, I’m not sure what time we’ll be back from shopping and who knows what time we’ll be at the restaurant, usually we go around 6 or later. She said okay, 6 is good… lol THERE’S NO WINNING! I didn’t want to be a complete b**** and say sorry, maybe next time, I didn’t want her to think I was rude… but I thought giving her excuse after excuse she’d clue in that she’s not welcomed, most people would, just not her lol. Since I’ve been staying at my parents, my DH has seen his parents every weekend now for almost a month. They only seen him this Saturday, now they have to see both of us the following day for dinner. My parents can’t stand them so it was a very LONG evening yesterday…. what really got me going & I shouldn’t of taken it out on my DH, but I did. When the bill came, my in laws didn’t even offer to pay for their half……… they just sat there when the bill came. When my father paid for the bill, I was hoping after every one had finish their drinks (Everyone was drinking alcohol but me!! I would of died for a few dozen drinks to tolerate her) that my DH’s parents would of at least asked “So how much do I owe you?”
Nope… didn’t even ask or offer.
I have tolerated this witch so much, how can someone be so self-centered? My parents didn’t even invite these people & I sure as hell didn’t lol… my in laws invited themselves & then they have the nerve to not even offer to pay their half of the bill? My father would of said don’t worry about it BUT that’s besides the point. I feel so confused right now. I’m having a hard time being with my DH and accepting the way his parents are, mainly his mother, she’s too overbearing, she disrespected me on Thanks Giving, I needed a “time out” & stay with my own parents for a while… as soon as the phone rings & I know it’s her, I just lose it, probably a bit of my pregnancy horomones aswell as I can’t stand her……….. I blew up on my DH on the way home after dinner, he told me not to cry - relax, his mother has turned selfish in the past 5 years because she works in a office… Oh please, there is no excuse for that womans behaviour… & I’m suppose to cope with her? I can’t. Oh my did my parents have a lot to say when it came to my DH’s side of the family.. my father was a little bit furious that they didn’t even offer to pay their half of the bill and didn’t even thank him, I see where he’s coming from. & to top it off, they are always being pushy about being one big happy family.. ever heard of a little thing called respect? How do these people expect my family & myself to be their friends when they pretty much just walked all over us last night? My father said he will never be a friend of that family lol I think my DH’s parents picture us being best friends and it’s just not happening, nothing agaisnt them but my family just don’t consider them the “type” of people they’d associate with. My in laws have been pushing to be my parents “friends” since day 1 of my pregnancy & when we got engaged, my parents can’t stand them, same with me LOL my parents AVOID them. I’m in a battle right now with my MIL, one thing after another with this woman.. I have two amazing midwives & I trust them, I plan on doing most of my labour at home, then go to the hospital when I’m about 7 cm dilated, my midwives will come with me blablabla if things go well, I don’t need to stay in the hospital for 24 hours, I can come home and my midwives will do at home visits. So my birth plan isn’t like most girls out there, I’ll admit that, I’m VERY different!! I want a private birth and visitors the next day when I’m ready ya & mentally ready lol. I don’t want anyone at the hospital, cept for my DH, my midwives & myself.. not even my own mother is going to be there!!! My MIL wanted to be in the waiting room and bring some of her friends (Dear God!! Help me!! As if I want to meet her friends I have never met after giving birth to a child LOL), I have told her more than once look I’m sorry, it’s my birth plan. I told my husband that his mother just wasn’t listening… so he finally picked my side, told her what the plan is, she got pissed off then that’s when her husband stepped in and said hunny, we’ll do what they want us to do & ya, she didn’t like that so much. What did she say yesterday to my mother after dinner? “I guess the next time I’ll be seeing you is when we’re both pacing the hallways in the hospital”…… DOES THIS WOMAN NOT LISTEN? I SAID NO ONE AT THE HOSPITAL LOL. I had a “talk” with my DH today, I am so afraid his mother is going to come between us because I’m becoming very hot headed now, I’m due next week, sounds selfish but I do not want that woman at the hospital, no one will be at the hospital, every one can come visit me the 1st day I am back at home. If his mother can’t respect my wishes & realize it’s not about her right now, it’s MY birth plan.. she is making it so difficult on me, if she wants to be in her grandchilds life, I suggest she starts respecting my wishes & not walking all over my DH & myself.. I am so worried now she’s just going to show up at the hospital lol she asked me last night at the dinner table where it was located, um why? Does she plan on showing up when she isn’t invited? It wouldn’t surprise me. I know my birth plan is a lot different than most girls, but she should respect it. I want visitors the day after I give birth. My DH said he’d tell her and make it clear but seriously COME ON, we’ve already told the woman like 4 times, how is the 5th time going to make the difference? Now I just feel like being a b**** & not phoning her at all when I’m in labour, just call her when my baby is born, booohoo for her she’ll get over it. & he also did tell me not to worry, he’s fine with the fact that I will never have a relationship with her or so he says, I’ve tried for years now.. I’m exhausted trying to act as if I like her lol :(… anyone out there going through the same problems? Worried the MIL will put a strain on your relationship with he DH? He told me she will NEVER come between us. I hope he means it. I’ve tried for years to be this womans friend, it just doesn’t work. She is driving me crazy…. I seriously don’t think she’s aware of how selfish she is. My husband says the bank will do that to some people, oh bloody hell.. she works in a bank BIG DEAL, she’s not Queen Elizabeth so don’t try to act like a Queen around me. I don’t want to lose my DH over her… I also don’t want to pretend as if I like her anymore either, she has disrespected me aswell as my family.
Forgive me for the LONG story/novel.
I feel better now that I vented my life story, as in HELL.