Mother-in-law Hell

I was married once to a man who really needed to cut the apron strings. he worked for his parents, they got him custody of his daughter when she was a baby (that was good because the mom left the kid and him); his parents even claimed her on their taxes! they paid for her clothes, and then for them to be laundered and pressed. they made sure she got everything she wanted: paid for her to go abroad, for her college, cars, insurance, prom dresses, etc. the g-mom made her lunch every day and came by her dad’s house every morning (if she hadn’t spent the night with them at their house, where she had her own room) to bring her clothes and lunch and to fix her hair. she did this until she was a senior in high school. she was jealous of the relationship that my stepdaughter and I had. I had to call and get permission to take her (when she was a teenager!) to the drug store or grocery store) if her dad wasn’t home. when her dad and I first got married, one morning (when g-ma was there fixing her hair before school) I asked for her bedding so I could do laundry (I got to do towels and sheets-everything else was sent out). I was given everything except the pillowcases, so I asked for them - in front of her g-ma. my stepdaughter made some comment that they didn’t need washing, (she was just being lazy)but it had been a week and I knew they needed washing! so g-ma told her-in front of me-to not talk back and to get them for me so I could wash them. then she privately told my husband that I was not to boss my stepdaughter around! oh, and I still had to call the in-laws “mr. and mrs. _____”. we had lived in our house for over a year before she knew we had a dishwasher. she had NO chores. n-o-n-e. but my son did. it didn’t seem fair. the husband ended up abusing drugs, alcohol, and me. when he crashed his car one night drunk, I tried to get him to turn himself in as there was damage to private property, county, and city property. his dad had a chat with someone in the police dept and everything was fixed by the next afternoon with no consequences for my husband at all! one night, he beat me up really good. his parents asked if he had hit me and I said yes. they never even asked how I was (but I had pictures just in case). I should have called the police, but didn’t. it wouldn’t have mattered if I had because we lived in a small town and they had “influence”. one time he got drunk at a wedding and I asked someone else to drive me home. I guess they told his mom. she came up to me, grabbed my arm and told me if I went somewhere with her son that I would leave with her son! his dad ended up driving me and him home while his mom drove my stepdaughter home. my husband cursed and screamed at his father all the way home while I cried in the back seat. yet, they refused to believe HE had a problem. when we got home, his mother opened the back door and told me we were going to have a talk. I gathered up my nerve and told her the only talk she needed to have was with her son. I got my car keys out, got in my car and left and spent the night with a friend. when he sobered up, he started calling them and my parents trying to find me. when my parents showed up at our house, his parents were there and they didn’t even speak to them! (I did get in touch with mine later to tell them I was ok). he even bragged about beating up and raping his daughter’s mom when they were married. believe me, in my in-laws’ eyes, he (nor his daughter) could do no wrong. all was my fault. they even threatened to have my son taken from me. I finally got smart and moved out and we divorced. he wanted to still see each other so long as his parents didn’t find out. he would show up drunk-or high-at my house after we were divorced even after I started seeing someone else. I finally had to move. now, when I see his parents, we both go the other way! I can count on one hand the number of people who intimidate me. she plain-out SCARES me! amazingly, my stepdaughter turned out to be a very nice young lady, regardless of how her grandparents tried to spoil and ruin her.