Narcissistic Mother -in - law Beast!

by Sarah Jarvis on 08/29 @ 9:30pm

My mil has been pressing my buttons for ten years. I am a Leo, and I am much stronger and smarter- but enough is enough. She only thinks and talks about herself - her plans , her needs . She has no man - or boyfriend for over 30 years–Yikes ! I can only imagine what pent up frusterations exist below them drawers- Anyhow - she coddles my husband and is constantly manipulating us- she is also very dishonest and when I confront her she straight out lies - if my husband tries she cries - I try to set boundaries but nothing works . Help Any advice!!!!!

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6 Responses to “Narcissistic Mother -in - law Beast!”

mbawar said on 08/30/08 @ 1:33am

she’s obviously lonely. Find her friends or find her something to do, activities, anything. She’s trying everything to make your husband keep her company.

caregiver03 said on 08/30/08 @ 7:56am

Nah. She’s a selfish, self centered, FULL GROWN WOMAN WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER. Just remember this when YOUR kids grow up. It’s a hard habit to break. I’m a mothr in law and my son used to come to me and tell me to teach his wife to make meat loaf, or something else. I did not want to be like my mother in law, even tho my husband didn’t do that, he always was afraid to cross her. He still is, for fear he won’t get to see his DADDY. Well, ok. If Daddy wants to put up with her, that’s one thing. But I KNOW BETTER and any other MIL knows better. She lies and you all know it. Cut her off and ignore her. She’ll learn. If she refuses to act like an accountable adult, then cut her off for good. If she lives with you, move out from under her. She had her life and you need yours. YOU can’t set the “BOUNDRIES”. HER SON has to do it. YOU mean NOTHING. And if you have to make him or coerce him, then he ain’t weaned. I have no sympathy for these MIL’s. Mine is evil. She knows I don’t like her and finally my husband is coming around. But, still, whenn they figure out you see through them, they just sneak around behind your back. I still maintain that if your husband can’t give up his mama, then you don’t need him. You are second. Good luck.

MILtyrant said on 08/30/08 @ 10:48pm

Its really not your responsibility to find her friends. Maybe she does not want any, maybe she is so full of herself she wont be able to sustain them. In any case, you will have to gain confidence of your husband.
Talk to your husband very honestly. Suggest to him that her deceiving, manipulative ways could possibly hurt your relationship. You will have to win your husbands trust, if you already have it…then really what are you worried about. Try zeroing her out of your mind so her ways stop bothering you, if that does not work try talking to her with your husband and give instances of her behavior and how it could have possibly hurt your relationship. You do not have to be a victim of a lonely, desperate person’s lunacy!

lovehimhateher said on 11/21/08 @ 4:56am

If your MIL truely has NPD, as mine does, no one wants to be around her so finding friends for her will fail every time. An individual with NPD will need to have very rigid boundaries set. My MIL can’t have any contact with us until she seeks help from a counselor and psychiatrist. Cur her off until she gets helps and stops the lies. If she can’t stop, she is not a part of your lives.
Please research NPD. I did not know much about it until I met my monster in law.

marie said on 12/01/08 @ 1:38pm

move far, far away

brokenglass57 said on 12/02/08 @ 6:17am

Being the daughter of a narc. mother (great description: http://www.geocities.com/zpg1957/narcissists.htm) and having been in relationships with many of these soul-suckers there is only ONE SOLUTION:
NO CONTACT. Your H has to be in agreement on this. ZERO contact no matter what. Your H HAS to stand up for you & his family otherwise her pathology will continue to CHIP away at your marriage.

A great blog about Narc Mother, just in case: http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com

I hope this helps and you get some validation from it.