Mother-in-law Hell

My fiance and I got engaged over a year and a half ago. Prior to that we had been dating for a little over a year. My parents had never let on how much they disliked him until after we announced our engagement. My mother claimed she “needed a glass of wine” and my father said he thought my fiance would have waited longer. Not even a congratulations or a we’re so happy for you!

Fast forward to the first Thanksgiving we were engaged. We had planned to get married the following December, however, when we went to visit my parents, their response was well, your mother is having a hard time dealing with this and we think you should wait. Out of respect for my parents, my fiance and I decided to push the wedding back to the following spring, but not without a huge fight and a private discussion between my fiance and my mother which resulted in her claiming that he called her a liar. From there, it just got worse. Countless calls about how I was making a mistake, how he’s not right for me, and how I’m throwing away my future career (I’m in grad school right now), all to just get married and have babies. Like getting married instantly ties me to the stove or something.

After refusing to go home for Christmas because of how my parents treated me and my fiance, we spent Christmas with his family and I received a phone call on Christmas morning from my mother telling me that I had ruined her Christmas and if I wanted to marry my fiance, I would be out of the family because it was obvious that I no longer loved my own family.

All of this in-fighting took a toll on my fiance and I’s relationship. He tried to apologize to my mother, but his apology wasn’t good enough. They’ve called him a liar, arrogant, manipulative, deceitful, goofy, and socially awkward. He is, in fact, none of these things. He is a good and loving man, he has his phd and is waiting to hear about a naval commission to do research for the medical service corps. But apparently, that’s not good enough.

This past June we called off our engagement. My parents were getting worse and it seemed that wherever we turned we found no support. The saddest part of all is that we were so in love. We took some time apart and about three months later decided to give it another go. We’re trying to make it work- even attempting to go down to Thanksgiving again- but as hard as we try, something is missing. It’s like we have all of my parents’ hate just hanging over our heads… we want to be married, but I’m not sure how to make it work. Please help!