my MIL refuses to come to my daughter’s 1st birthday party but is going to have her own!???

by Amanda on 10/29 @ 2:57am

If there is any one who can relate of has any advice for me that would be great. My mother in law, is refusing to come to my daughters first birthday she has things to do on that day, and wants to throw her own birthday party for her at her house and then go to zoo lights after words with just my husband me and my daughter! that means the other grandmas are not invited and it is really bothering me. I have been having problems with this lady since my daughter was born and i cant take it anymore. please give me advice on how to deal with this, because i have a pretty good idea on how to but i dont want to cause world war 3.
any thing will do.

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6 Responses to “my MIL refuses to come to my daughter’s 1st birthday party but is going to have her own!???”

Marochka said on 10/29/08 @ 11:10pm

Simple, let her throw her party but it doesn’t mean that you have to show up with your daughter! She is the grandma. She is not entitled to throw your daughter a birthday party, that is your job as the mama. If she can’t make it on the day of your party because she has “things to do” well than that is just too darn bad.

You need to put her in her place now or she will constantly try to take over your mommy moments and firsts. This woman doesn’t want to play grandma, she wants to play mommy with your daughter. Are you going to let her? I’m sorry, but if I were you I would tell her that it is too bad that she cant make the birthday party you are giving your daughter and you hope to see her at her granddaughter’s next birthday. DO NOT GIVE IN on this or you will constantly be battling with her to play the role of mother in your child’s life.

Where is your husband in all of this? Doesn’t he think it is strange his mother won’t attend the bday party but wants to have one of her own? Let your mama bear out and tell her you are “too busy” with things to do on the day she wants to throw her own party. What a nutter!

fallingwater said on 10/30/08 @ 5:19am

I couldnt agree more with Marochka. Put your foot down now otherwise this will become a yearly tradition.

AsadDIL said on 10/30/08 @ 3:02pm

Have your own party, gently remind dear MIL that this will be her only first birthday party and you would like her to attend your party. After all…..how much partying can a 1 year old take? You have the perfect excuse. She is just still too little to have a whirl wind of celebrations. Basically you are saying thank you, but no thank you to her offer.

kat said on 10/30/08 @ 7:40pm

my mil did that. on my son’s FIRST birthday party. I was at work, and my husband had our son that day so there was nothing i could do about it. It was a terrible feeling to have to miss it, considering it was thrown the DAY before the one I threw on a day I had to work. Accidental? RIGHT. And since most of our friends went to that one, I had a whole 4 people show up to his real party with his real family. Fix it before it happens. Not only will she do it every year, but she’ll be sure to outdo all of your efforts.

mommy05 said on 10/31/08 @ 4:03am

DO NOT i repeat, DO NOT let her do that. there is ONE birthday party, and it’s up to you the mother, when and where it is. don’t give in or you’ll be sorry. trust me. good luck