Let me set the scene….

Before I met my husband he was married to a person who was and still is mentally ill. He was in the military and on a 6 month tour in the Med, when his ex ran his credit into the ground (over 800 to just above 500), sold 10K worth of his tools and scuba equipment at a yard sale and lost their home and vehicles. He was 40 years old and had been married 3 years and had a young son.

He came home to nothing and a pending bankruptcy that she filed without his knowledge because the military has the husband give POA when leaving home. This was 10 years ago.

Because of this situation, the family moved from Florida to his family home in Kentucky with his mom. He had purchased a section of the family farm prior to getting married and didn’t lose it in the court mess. This property was next to mom’s home, with several acres and woods between them. During the 3 years they lived there, he built a new home for his wife and young son and helping mom as well.

I have heard that there were lots of problems between ex and mom, but as said before, the ex is a special case. During the three years, she got pregnant 2 times by other men and continued to have major self-control issues. The new house was within 6 months of completetion, when the ex had my husband arrested for spousal abuse, which was later thrown out of court when she admitted she lied. The judge at that ruling, had my husband start divorce proceedings right then. He walked out of the court room divorced and total custody of his son. His ENTIRE family was there supporting him, including his mom.

From that day, my sweet husband was left wounded and beat up and his mom helped him pick up the pieces, raise his son and finish the house.

This is where I come into the picture…

A year or so later, she encouraged him to start meeting people and have fun. He joined eHarmony and that is where we met. I wasn’t really looking and neither was he. I was happy living in a different state with my daughter, my business and all my freinds. When we met though, I fell madly in love with this sweet, gentle man. He felt the same way too and we were inseparable! Cool thing was, our kids were the same age and hit it off too!

We dated a while and decided to move in with each other in HIS home. I sold my business (which was killing me slowly anyway), sold my house and drug horses and other zoo animals to our new home.

On one of my weekend visits before the move, his mother and I were sitting in her sun room and I made the comment, “Now that I am moving up here, you won’t have to take care of these stinky boys anymore and you can enjoy your retirement!” Little did I know that that remark is the one that cut my throat!

From that day on, she has been on a mission to make my life miserable. At first I let it rub me raw and talked to my husband about it. He didn’t beleive it of course, so for a year the crap got deeper and deeper until I refused to have anything to do with his family and there get togethers. She was mean, decitful and beyond rude when the comments came flying past and everyone saw it. Some I dodged. Some I didn’t. Example you say?? “You know Deborah, Janie dressed like a classic beauty and you, well you really get into your work!” This was over dinner in front of people I didn’t know and I had been painting a mural all day. Hello???

One evening I got a call from my husband’s ex-wife. Weird I thought but I took it. “Deborah, why are you on psyco drugs?” I started lauging and asked her what she was talking about and she informed me that my mother-in-law called her and told her about meds I was taking! At first I was laughing, then I got upset. My hubby’s sister is a doctor and I called her and told her that I was out of my meds for hyper-activity because they had fallen into a wet sink and couldn’t get a refill yet. She sent samples via MIL in a CLOSED STAPLED paper bag. She opened them, Googled the name and saw they were used for depression. I was so shocked!!! My hubby was upset and went to talk with her about it. She said she didn’t do it, but he looked at the caller ID and saw where she had called! She back tracked like a maniac trying to dig herself of that one!

Because of her phone call to the ex, we ended up in court spending way too much money on an attorney and her losing her vistitation with her son because she won’t get help for her illness. A HUGE mess that if left alone, would have just died out and moved back to Florida, which did happen later. THE MIL KNOWS first hand that this woman is unstable from living in the same house for 3 years. What good could come out of that?? It was a direct shot over my bow!

Since then, it has been a problem snow balling out of control. I tried to explain to my hubby that the root of some of these issues was a certain neighbor and his mom gossiping. To prove a point, I got a sign from a real estate freind and popped it at the driveway in FRONT of this neighbor. She asked and I told her we were moving to Florida, which was not bloody likely. Before I could drive up the hill, she called his mom in a panic! Within 24 hours, his mother called his boss and told them that I was making him sell his house and spending all his money! My husband heard from his boss and just laughed! He told them he didn’t have any money and what was going on. She has NEVER met his boss, but called anyway! Why didn’t she ask her son?

The kicker was when the kids, 12 and 13 were at her house watching TV and overheard her in the kitchen talking on the phone about me. “You know, those poor kids can’t help who thier parents are, I feel sorry for them. Hopefully they will overcome it!” So they came home and asked me what that meant. Mess with me, but don’t mess with my kids. I was hot and decided at that point, that since she couldn’t behave like the 68 year old that she is, that they wouldn’t visit.

She has called many people, told many lies and has stirred so much crap up that people are tired of hearing it. My hubby and I have NEVER mentioned it to a soul, we are embarrased. We have been to counciling, a professional mediation with his mom and siblings, and christian counciling just the three of us to no avail. She blames me that her son grew a pair of gonads and decided to use them! Nothing I can do or say will ever fix, this I have come to understand.

I have invited her to lunch, dinner, cooked for her, cleaned her house, called to check on her, and cut her firewood MANY times. I have shopped for her, sent her cards, bought her gifts and even made her a beautiful memory quilt of her family. NOT ONCE, have I been rude, mean or nasty, NOT ONCE. NO ONE in his family has ever asked me a single questions or tried to talk with me. Not one time. They don’t know me at all, but she doesn’t understand that HER attitude is the families barometer. Only his sister, the Doctor, has ever been kind and respectful. I even recently painted a mural for her and a faux finish in her home where I stayed a week.

I sent MIL a letter over a year ago spelling out everything. Gave her reasonable bounderies, told her that this is what I expect. I have stuck to that and have no intentions on giving in. “YOU will treat me and my children with respect and honor my wishes as a parent. YOU are the grandmother and expected to be as such.” Plain and simple.

Today was her grandson’s 13th birthday and she decided to be a jerk and not follow the rules by coming to HIS home and visiting him because of me, the crazy person. She hurt him terribly and I hate it for her.

Hopefully this will all end soon…. because it just makes MY marriage stronger!

This post was submitted by TheMominator.