My mother in law is truly from hell. We had a big blowout this week because she favors my sister in laws children over mine and she speaks to my husband and I like we are dirt. Tuesday was my husbands b-day and we had a cake with my mom and dad and his and his sister and her family. My mother in law kept telling me to change the cake to Saturday so my sister in law could go out to dinner with her husband because it was their anniversary as well. I did not change the cake because this is nothing new they always come first. She came to my house with an attitude on and kept complaing that her back hurt. She has not spent time with my kids for over a month because her back hurts, however she is with my sister in laws kids almost every day. She barely looked at my kids when she arrived but when my sister in laws kids arrived her back no longer hurt and she was running after them. After all this for some reason she left mad at me. I have no idea why but if she is not feeling well or someone pisses her off she generally takes it out on me. For years I have swallowed many things and have played by her rules but I can no longer do this. On Thursday we had a phone conversation and I let everything out in a screaming match. Of course my mother in laws halo then came out and she told the whole world how horrible I am and how great she is. My sister in law even called my husband and got involved. This is just a little piece of what has been going on over the past ten years. Now she sent herself to the emergency room yesterday because of the stress. Now it is all my fault and I have to call her. I do this all for my husband but when is she going to stop torturing me. I am very good to her and truly do not deserve what she does. And what she does to my husband and my children is truly hurtful. How do I deal with this kind evil.
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the internationally-recognized website, motherinlawhell.com.
Advice
3 Responses to “My mother in law is killing me”
I would tell her and DH that my children will not be made to feel less loved than the other grandchildren. It’s hard to argue with a Mother that is protecting her children from harm. No longer ignore her rude comments, call her on it every time. If it stresses her out to be kind to you and yours, well BOO! HOO!
PS: You do not have to call her…..
JoAnn: DON’T CALL HER! If she’s healthy enough to chase her favorite grandchildren, she’s faking the stress attack. If she’s upset, she did it to herself. She holds her halo up with her horns. You don’t need their approval. Love your children. Give them all the attention. She’s had her glory days and your children need to feel your love. Don’t make them aware that she treats them differently. Avoid her. Your children don’t need to be around her. Keep them away from her. YOU do things with them. They’re your children. They need your love and attention worse than hers. Show her you don’t need her approval. Next time you decorate a cake, do it your way. Do everything your way. And WHY are you calling her for your husband’s sake?? What’s he doing for YOUR sake. He should’ve already told her to never darken his doorway again if she can’t be good to you and his children. Ya’ll should come first. You are his family. He’s a grown man. Don’t call her. She’s okay and if she gets sick, it’s only to make you look bad. Do you really believe that your sister in law doesn’t know her true feelings toward you and your kids? My MIL was like that too and I put up with it. I don’t anymore and she KNOWS I don’t like her and could care less if she drops dead tomorrow. god forgive me, but she did it and I refuse to let her manipulate me. She is very evil. She always bragged on all her other grandchildren to me and never gave mine any attention. Now that they’re grown, she tries to say she’s always loved children and always had them around her. None of my kids like her and I didn’t have to teach them that. I’ve commented to several women tonight and I believe these MIL’s are POISONOUS. DON’T EXPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO HER. AND IF YOUR HUSBAND CAN’T TURN LOOSE OF HER APRON STRINGS, THEN MAYBE HE SHOULD MOVE BACK HOME AND PAY YOU CHILD SUPPORT. YOU DON’T NEED HIM. GOD WILL BRING THE SUN UP TOMORROW WHETHER SHE APPROVES OF YOU OR NOT AND WHETHER YOU KICK HIM OUT OR NOT. HE SHOULD BE INDIGNANT THAT SHE IS SO SELFISH AND CONTROLLING. She is not sick. Let HIM call her. You don’t owe him the courtesy. He owes you. He should call her and say, sorry you’re sick, but my wife has taken enough off you. She doesn’t even want to be around HIS own children and he puts up with HER?? Open your eyes, girl and look at him. Watch him. Watch her. If they get upset because they can’t control you, then that’s their problem. The whole family’s problem. Your first priority is to your children. You need to protect them if he won’t. He lets her get away with showing favoritism?? Okay. Maybe she can’t help it, but if I were him, I’d quit subjecting my children to her selfish ways and if I were him, I’d tell her to stay away from his wife and family. I’d be indignant if I were you that he lets her act this way and you are enabling him by staying and putting up with it and her. You don’t need her approval. You’ve done your best and she’s ruined your marriage. Don’t let her manipulate you. She may not like you, but she’ll have to respect you if you make her. Good luck.
Sweetie, your husband needs to take this matter in hand. He is the one who must make it clear to his mother that her obvious manipulation is not going to fly.
It is damaging to your marriage relationship, and it’s horrendous for your children. As Caregiver said, your children need protection from this witch.
If your husband won’t grow some stones and cut the strings from this toxic family, you won’t have a true marriage. His family is FAR too involved in your lives, and you are probably playing out the same role your husband had while growing up with this evil group of people.
Go talk to a counselor, with or without your husband.
None of you deserve this treatment, and if you scrape the mess off your shoes and move ahead, you’ll all be a lot better off.