We live within 3 miles of MIL. Every year we go on vacation to the same place at the same time. For years I would have her over for dinner every Sunday, but finally stopped doing that because I got tired of my DH spending all of Sunday afternoon giving his mother a massage (she has a sore back and is in a lot of pain) and talking to her about details of his work he had not shared with me even though we spend a lot of time together and I’m a good listener. Recently I’m upset because after our vacation my husband, who is a photographer, and I worked on a photo album together, but when he put the photos on the pages the only people he put in the book were him and his mother. I told him the photo album looked strange without photos of his wife and when he showed it to others they would think that was odd, too. I suggested he add photos of me and our children from past years since there were none good enough from this year to be included. Instead, he’s decided to give our vacation photo album to his mother for Christmas. I’m upset about this and can’t seem to get over it and let it go.
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the internationally-recognized website, motherinlawhell.com.
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5 Responses to “MIL trumps WIFE”
That is just plain ol’ creepy.
I would be offended too. It’s a little weird, this obsession with his mother. I don’t know about your faith or religion, but my judeo-christian teachings say that a man MUST LEAVE HIS PARENTS and cling to his wife, since the two are now one. I’ve had to point this out before (and our pastor) to my husband. I think he accepts that God’s intention for our life it to be with each other. This does not mean that we forsake our parents, stop loving them, etc. But it does mean that we are to be number one to each other. If he’s giving this as a gift, then let it be. She’ll probably cry and think it’s a treasure. But, I think you should tell your husband that even though he means well, you were hurt (or disturbed) that he wouldn’t want to share photographic memories of you and the kids too. After all, you are ALL family. Not just him and his mother.
Honestly,
The only remedy for this situation is divorce or intense counseling for your hubs. He is in an emotionally incestuous relationship with his own mother. All you are there for is sex and as a womb donor for children. Let me guess, he tries to hand the children off to her to raise as well?
He is already married to his mommy and you will always be the other woman in this situation. GROSS! She fulfills all his emotional relationship needs and you are just the box he puts it into because he cannot with his own mother. I’m so sorry. Maybe intense marital counseling and personal counseling could help but otherwise you will always be the third wheel in this sick and twisted relationship. This is far beyond a mamas boy.
Oh honey….RUN!
I agree with Catthyahuw. That is CREEPY with a capital WEIRD!
The fact that he not only leaves you but your children out as well is disturbing. I could understand if the book were specifically for his mother and he added pics of the entire family but whoa.
Oh my goodness, something is definitely odd with that situation. It takes ‘all day’ for a massage? It’s nice that he wants to help his mother out, but why doesn’t he just hire a massage therapist for her? He’s a photographer, not a massage therapist!! He’s either a super momma’s boy or there is an a serious oedipus complex(if then..RUN AWAY!). Could it be that she just wants pictures of just the two of them?…(0.0). She doesn’t seem to acknowledge the fact that you are the number one woman in is life now with a family of his own and she has to share him. It seems like she wants have a hold on him, and keep him to herself. The fact that your husband is giving into her is not going un-noticed. I would try talking to him again, but not with anger or it’ll just be a big mess and that kind of friction between you two will make her happy. Ask him why the photo album was put together that way and if his mother requested it. You never know, it could be her doing that on purpose hoping you get mad and argue with your husband. Have a long, long conversation with your husband.