my mother in law drives me crazy! I don’t have a specific for the moment but I’m just tired of the snotty comments and her having to give her approval on everything . . . I’m trying to not be rude but I would really love some tips to be able to handle her better . . . I also recently became pregnant and I can tell its going to be very interesting. her buying rediculous gifts, her trying to tell us how to do this and that AHHHH 
also how do you go about handling the giving birth situation, when I want my husband, mother, and a few close friends to accompany me but not her? if I cant be myself around her now how am I supposed to let her in on something like that? well anywho now it just sounds like I’m whining, but if anyone has advice I would love to hear it!
This post was submitted by maigs.
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5:19 am
You don’t have to let her in the delivery room! Fair does not mean “equal”. Labor and delivery is the hardest work you will ever go through in your life. You do not need someone there who will be annoying the crap out of you. Tell your hubs she wasn’t there for the conception and won’t be there for the delivery.
As for you wanting your mom and close friends there, you have every right. They are your support system and you trust them and LOVE them. Your mom is your mom. She has seen you at your most vulnerable and you will always have a closer relationship with her than your MIL. Tell your hubs that she can be in the delivery room when your mom can be there for his prostate exam. LOL.
What is it with these MILs thinking birth is a spectator sport anyway? Like you really want to have Thanksgiving dinner with the woman who has seen you down to your primal instincts and a stretched hoo ha!
5:23 pm
Marochka,.. I agree with the prostate think funny! lol yeah I think MIL’s want to be in labor and delivery because I think they like seeing us in pain!! because they are crazy!
10:08 am
My MIL was the same way…she wanted to be a part of every aspect of our hospital stay with our baby (who is now 3 mos old), down to she wanted to be in the room with me while breastfeeding. Luckily my husband understood why I didn’t want her in the room and when she tried to force her way in, he took her out in the hallway and actually put her in her place. The day that our son was born, he didn’t call her until after i had given birth…maybe that would be an option for you. I didn’t even want my MIL in the waiting room cuz I knew that she would try to get into the delivery room as well. Maybe that would be an option for you as well. Once I explained to my husband why I didn’t want her around while I was in labor, he completely understood why my mom was welcome but my MIL was not.
7:12 am
I believe that most of the time the MIL wants to be there b/c they want to be a part of the special birth of their grandchild, they aren’t really thinking about OUR comfort, they are thinking, the other grandmother gets to see my grandchild be born, I want to, too! I am sure if your husband asks her if she would have been comfortable with her m-i-l watching her giving birth, she may remember not being comfortable with the idea. It’s easy to justify why we are okay with our own mothers beign there and not our mil’s - they are our mothers, the ones who nurtured us and took care of us. It’s not to punish the mil or give our own moms a one-up, it is about our comfort and support during childbirth!
Oh and the unsolicited advice….I remember telling a few people when they would start to go on and on… “it is so funny how once you get pregnant everyone becomes the expert on childbirth/pregnancy/etc and starts telling you what to do” and they usually got the hint and shut up about it. A few times, when I was really irritated I would add to that something like “…telling you what to do, when their opinion is NOT asked for, and you already have your own ideas and opinions on how you want to manage your pregnancy/childbirth/raising your child.” Then they apologize and say they were just trying to help, and you thank them but say it just gets irritating b/c you are bombarded with it and don’t really feel like hearing it. HOPEFULLY, problem solved with person you said it to. *hope hope hope!*
Try to take the high road and be polite, as this is your child’s grandmother, but also, have boundaries and stand firm on them as nicely as you can!
8:05 am
My hubby and I have been together for 7 years, and my MIL has not changed much. She is passive aggressive, manipulating, controlling, and she thinks my children are her children. She literally stuck her head in my shirt while I breastfed. She says that my girls look nothing like me..even though they really do. My husband has has many talks with her. She gets better for a while but always regresses to her old self. One time she refused to give me my own baby. She pulled her away from me. Yet, she acts all innocent and cries and plays the victim when confronted. I feel so immature saying this but I hate hate hate hate her. I’m starting to think things will never change. My oldest is five now, and my MIL is manipulating her to get what she wants now. In other words, she waves candy in my daughter’s face when she knows my daughter is not allowed to have candy. It’s all about my girls. She wants her hands on them so bad she can hardly stand it. I just want to scream at this crazy woman. She had her chance raising her children…let me raise mine. Tonight she made a huge deal out of my baby reaching out to her to be held. The bad thing is…it bothered me. I hate her so much and I wish I didn’t. I’m sad because I’m scared that this is going to be a very long journey with her.
6:05 pm
Hi, I have a new baby too and just went thru the same thing. I have found it best to do as little as possible with her. ABSOLUTELY NO EXTRAS. Not even walking to the bathroom with her if she asks. It was tough having high emotions in pregnancy and having to deal with such a bitty. I finally after months learned to let my husband do as much of the talking to her as possible. And to just stay away. I know family events are hard but just talk to others. Don’t give her anything to have an opinion on though I know how freely they can come out from such people. She is constantly leaving her 2 cents about our son. She could make a mountian out of an ant hill on small subjects. For instance, she just asked where our son was, and he was with my mom. She made the comment that our son never gets to stay at home. It’s better to just talk about the weather or some easy subject with her. But I found it best just to have hardly any conversation with her. The less we say, the less she has to go and talk bad about you behind your back!