Mother-in-law Hell

I fell in love with the most wonderful man twice the first time in high school(unknowns to him-lol)

and then years later threw a series of random events that brought us back together

we dated for a year and recently he has asked me to spend the rest of my life with him

well of course I said yes !

While we were dating his mother was an absolute doll, I mean a real sweetheart – I’ve never had a relationship with my own mother – and was raised by my father

so I’ve always felt comfortable talking to her – baking and shopping

my finance is the second youngest of four boys .
So Ive always had the feeling as though Ive been the daughter shes never had.

my future MIL is a strong Christian woman – and I understand and share in most of her values

shes always described me as the “normal one “

The two older brothers and their wives rarely speak to my future MIL
my future SIL’S (i guessing now should have been a hint of some sort)

one is a strict vegetarian – who has instilled this into her children – who are definitely not getting enough protean in their diet – and have been taken to the hospital recently for being undernourished , she also has boundary issues – I’ve witnessed this first hand -as in our first meeting she practically sat in my lap for the evening and i was told by my future MIL had “lesbian “tendency’s witch i have also noticed in her daughter - who spends a lot of time with her lesbian aunt

(not that im agents that sort of thing - just like my space)

the other future SIL is just simply a total bitch an RN who was looking after a neighbor and laughed at the fact that he died in her care, her son is also 7 years old and still can not read! because shes too “busy”

so all along I could understand this womans point of view – concerned for the well being of her grandchildren and as a mother

but recently things have come to my attention that the rose colored glasses I’ve had on with this woman
may have in fact been beer goggles

my finance has been given a position with a company on the other side of the country
and as local economics are down – he gladly accepted

we both agreed that we would have a year long engagement before we were married – to plan everything out and have all the details etc. that I want -lol ……yes as a bride I’m kinda picky

so currently shes under the idea that we “will” be married before we move

that is just not possible – nor reasonable

and accuses us of living in sin ……..i love my finance far too much and I know that me living here and him there is absolutely -insane

so as of recently she has forbid me from her home – where most of my finance’s family frequent

for the summer for birthdays holidays family gatherings and just for visiting

as they have a large home and a pool

she says this is because he has a bad attitude when I am around

over the last few weeks she has made it impossible for us to see each other or speak to each other

as she has him running over hell and back mowing her yard – striping her deck and painting it

gardening …….the list goes on

its even to the extent when he calls me – she has the uncanny ability to read his mind and call in on the other line

and then the other night it was 12:30 at night and I called to see if he was free thinking no way possible he’d be busy at 12:30 at night …………he was at her place – peeling potatoes for a big “family” cookout – that I am not invited to

I can now somewhat see the point of my future SIL’s though their actions have been less than admirable , I in part perhaps have not been fare in giving them the benefit of the doubt , and for that have tried everything I can possible to make amends

my finance has apologized to me profusely for this whole thing - all knowing this started with his job
and stands behind me 100%

as much as it bother me not seeing him I can understand -

I know she must be concerned her son moving across the country
and as a mother I’m sure it must be difficult to see your son grow and move beyond you

making a family of his own

– and I know as a woman that must make her feel terribly old and scared
and no woman ever ever wants to feel old

I can see she is hurting and just trying to protect what family she has
but its the way in witch shes handled things thats been hurtful.

And I would say that without an apology I would/could not return to her home again anyway

I know she is a very proud woman – and I’m not about to hold my breath for that

all I can say is that she is doing exactly the opposite of what she is trying to do by pushing me away

what she is potentially loosening is any relationship with her future grandchildren if this pattern of pettiness and manipulation continues

then she really will be missing out

what I’m wondering is ……..if this is just the beginning ?