I just moved 2,000 miles away so my husband could be closer to his family. I had convinced him. He had just gotten out of the military.
It began when we had told his mother in law not to cut our son’s hair but she and his stepgrandma did it anyway. We were both upset. I post rants of the day on myspace and one day among my other rants I had posted that people should adhere to what parents say not to do to their kids. We loved our son’s curly hair and it made him appear littler than 2. His stepgrandma wrote to me, saying Get over it, get a live and youre in my state now. My husband wrote her two emails while I sobbed in the bathroom, wanting them to like me. He told her never to talk to us again.
His stepgrandma thought I had written the emails. My husband’s little sister pretended to be his brother and insulted me online. His
brother’s girlfriend wrote me tons of emails, saying I’m an idiot for not knowing how to drive and she does, I don’t love my son since I leave him for weeks at a time at my mom in law (at most a week–lie), etc. My husband wrote her emails, defending me. She said she and my husband had dated once so she knows it was me writing all the emails. My husband had taken her out once when she and his brother had had a fight. I wrote her two emails. She threatened to kick my ass so I called my mom in law, thinking she was on my side like she had told me. She defended her son’s gf and handed the phone to her son and he called me racial slurs and told me not to talk about his son when my husband had. He kept repeating and yelling so I yelled back and hung up. My husband lost a day of work to come home because of it.
As time passed, my husband and I would see that his mom had changed her status to hurtful things and posted hurtful images on her profile. His stepgrandma sent her racial comments about me and insulted me about not knowing how to come into a family, etc. His little cousins started talking about my race. My husband got mad and posted a bulletin and wrote to his mom about it. Alas, everyone thought it was me writing all of it.
His mom sent me an email saying I don’t deserve her son and that I should act my age not my ear size. I wrote to her saying that we should all get along and be family but she dismissed it and said that she didn’t believe anything I said. I deleted her because of the drama and she had taken me off her top friends and placed my husband’s ex on it.
His stepgrandma wrote me and insulted me about my race, telling me to go back to *** where I came from, that I’m a slut because I met my husband online, etc. I wrote her telling to get along and explaining everything but to no avail. Her daughter whom I have never met sent me emails and insulted me, telling I’m not welcome and I should stop it, that I didn’t visit my husband at the hospital, etc. Lies
My husband stopped talking to them after his brother’s gf threatened to kick my ass. He didn’t answer their calls or visit them.
His mom started writing me and asked me where her son was and his sister apologized to me but his mom didnt. His mom made a Family category and placed me in it as well as my husband’s ex girlfriend. I wrote to her about it and she said it didn’t matter. She deleted me and kept the girlfriend.
I want to move but we dont have the money to do that. We live an hour away. I’m going insane. I came here for my husband and his family, but this is how I am treated. Sorry so long but I have more to tell.
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Advice
6 Responses to “I’m going insane!”
dont know what to tell you but hang in there!
I know it isn’t easy but at one point you have to stop caring about if they like you. I know it is hard thoughout life that is one thing that always resurfaces…and we all deep down care about.
But listen regardless of race we all have a soul one in which should not be judged by anyone!
Remember that you have the love of your husband …
As for your childs hair there is nothing that you can do to bring it back; and honestly ranting about it on myspace only seemed to cause more tension. Oh and by the way in a situation with his family they always blame the wife it is NEVER their son/grandson!
Get all your husbands family off your myspace page if they want to communicate they need to call you!!
Learn from this experience and don’t trust them going forward with your child…if they want to see him you’ll have to be there. They created this lack of trust let them deal with it.
i seriously thought i was the only one that experienced EXTREME craziness. At least your husband is sticking up for you and can see through their insanity. Take solace in this- my husband works for his CRAZY mother and i have tried for 9 years to make her happy. She, like yours makes up absolute lies, sends my husband messages about girls who “want” him and contorts even the simplest of comments. i am worn out. the best answer is to stay away, don’t email, or blog-simply ignor. I can only stay away so long, seeing as we live 3 min from them. i asked her 3 times to come see our house we are building and when she got word that other family members have seen it-SHE WENT WITHOUT ME! it was rude and hurtfull and then she told everyone i NEVER invited her. They are a lost cause-we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. do what works for YOU
OK ladies I have to say it…ENOUGH!
STOP trying to be so liked by these people who obviously want nothing to do with you.
That whole “trying to get along for the kids” stuff is crap. All it’s doing is confusing them. Explain to your darling babies that sometimes people just do not like each other but that does not give them the right to be rude.
Now please don;t get me wrong. I am not saying to not be civil. By all means be civil…prove that you are the bigger person but stop letting them stress your life out.
If they are getting people you don;t even know involved something is wrong with all of them. Cut them out of your life and enjoy your DH for all you are worth.
Ok well I have deleted them and they added me back and I wanted to be nice again because I forgive. His mom wrote and was nice to me but then the other day she and my husband’s ex whom she hated before have decided to become best friends and now they are talking about “old times.” They have just started posting statuses on myspace about me. When I talk to my husband about this, he doesnt say anything. He just sits there and that makes it worse. I am at my wit’s end. He told me before they are still his family.
They are still his family and that will never change. Unfortunately you only have two choices. 1) Do what’s best for you and remove yourself entirely from the situation or 2) Put up with it all.
You can always avoid the in-laws until it is absolutely necessary to see them, etc. But in reality, your husband should say something. He could at least admit to his mother that he posted the bulletins, etc.
If all else fails, you may want to sit down and have a serious talk with him. If he refuses to listen, you may very well be better off moving on. In the mean time, why don’t you block your husband’s family from contact with you online or at the very least, ignore their online pages and emails. Just delete their emails without reading them. Change your Chat ID and block anyone from contacting you that is not on your list.
For the most part, it’s very obvious that they are racist. It’s a shame, but we live in a very shitty world. And on a more positive note: You’re not alone when it comes to in-laws. Very few get along. Those that do are very lucky and should cherish it!
Good Luck!