Mother-in-law Hell

First, the birth of a child should be shared by the husband and wife. This can be a wonderful bonding time that happens once. You have a first born 1 time!

If you are not close to you MIL then you have every right to say No and make your wishes clear to the doctor and staff at the hospital. She can’t just come in and get into your business because of Hippa Regulations. If she does you can sue the hospital.

Now on the other hand, what if you let her in . . . could it help bond the child and your relationship with your MIL?

I think all MILs need to know their boundaries. They need to repsect the son’s wife.

First of all make it clear to your doctor that you do not want anyone in the delivery room but your husband. Talk to your husband about letting his mother be there just not in the delivery room and as soon as you are all covered up in the nether region let her in. My own mother waited just outside the door just because i was so self consious. (Remember when you are in labor you can scream at anyone you want and it’s not held against you later! ) Most of all try to block it all out you want to remember bringing new life in to the world is a miracle and the greatest blessing only women hold!

Tell your doctor ahead of time that under no circumstances will anyone but your husband be allowed in the room. It is under your control. If she does come in, you tell the nurse to call security. Do not be a wimp and back down to please your husband or not cause trouble. This is a special moment. You should begin discussing this with your doctor at your next appointment, have it written on your hospital chart and inform the staff the second you get to the hospital. If they try any of the family bologna crap, threaten to sue. Your husband has no say, it’s your v@gina that will be out for the world to see. If he complains, then tell him she can come in if he takes his pants off and stands half naked in front of your mom while sweating and straining and getting punched in the genitals for 12 hours. That’s the deal. =)

Explain to your MIL and everyone else that you are a modest person. You do not feel comfortable with an audience during delivery. You have enough stress dealing with your first delivery without all this BS. Make it clear if your wishes are not honored by the hospital staff, you will contact an attorney. Good luck with the new baby.

Hi, I feel for you. You are the patient. Your husband is being a jerk he has NO right to dictate to you how YOUR delivery is going to go. When you get to the hospital tell every nurse and staff person you do not want ANYBODY besides your husband and medical personnel to be with you. If your utterly selfish husband can’t understand kick him out too. You have all the rights he has NONE at all. YOU ARE THE PATIENT.
Tell your husband you will consider letting his mother in the birthing room if he will make an appointment with his doctor to get a prostate exam and your mother and you can be in the room to watch.(LOL)

I have been there as well. My MIL wouldn’t leave me alone when my firstborn came along, so with our second child, we didn’t call anyone when I went into labor. We waited until the next morning so that we could have some peace. If at all possible, I would do the same - good luck!

My heart goes out to you. All of my problems started when we had our first child. If your husband will not do it you will have to. You need to stop her behavior now. 17 years later and I am still playing the games with the MIL regarding the children. Give her your expectations. Lay down the law now. The hospital will have to do as you ask. She will not have control over that. Tell her the next time she goes for her yearly exam you would like to go with. Maybe she will think about your privacy.

I say tell the MIL “NO”. I was forced into allowing my MIL in the delivery room with not 1 but 2 of my children because I married her baby. I only got out of her being there on with the 3rd one because we asked her to babysit the other 2.

I say stand up to her and your husband. She can wait until you and the baby have been cleaned up and are ready to see other visitors. Allow only the grandparents in first to see the baby.

I can tell you I regret being bullied everytime I look at my son’s babybook and he is now 10. Good Luck to you.

It is completely your decision as to who gets to be in the labor room. If you don’t want your MIL in there, then she won’t be in there. As others have said, make your wishes known now.

My MIL was in the room with me when I had my first child. That was the worst mistake of my life. She made rude comments to me when I was in labor. If I had it to do all over again, I would not have called anyone until after the baby was born. A birth should be between the parents to be. It’s a private time.

I hope that your labor goes as planned. And congrats on your first baby!!

When you were married, your husband said vows to put you first in his life. Those vows did not include his mother.
Ask your mother in law if she would of wanted her mother in law in the delivery room? I just bet she will say no. Ask her to please respect your wishes. Tell her that this is something that you feel is private, between your husband and you.
Yes, she will be a grandparent, but not a parent of this new life. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Your husband sounds like he may still be attached to mommys you know what. Hopefully, he will get over it.

Wow. There seems to be no regard for your feelings. If you don’t regard your feelings and wishes as important then why should you expect them to? Something to think about.

Do you intend on writing a birth plan? Despite what others may tell you, there are some things you can demand. If you flat out write that her presence during labor will invoke a lawsuit, most doctors will make sure she is not there.

Also, do you HAVE to deliver at the hospital she works at? My MIL wanted me to cross state lines to give birth at the hospital she worked at. Due to lack of insurance and high-risk pregnancy my OB had already referred me to a different hospital that had a clinic and specialized in high-risk. Despite that, there was a good possibility that I was going to be driven to the hospital mid-snowstorm (Nick was due 2/24), so my hubby wasn’t willing to entertain the possibility of having to cross the river to the hospital.

Or pray for the flu. Thankfully I didn’t have to deal with her when Nick was born because she came down with the flu 2 days before Nick was born.

OK, I was kidding on the last part. Best of luck to you and your little one!

As a nurse, I deal with this all the time. YOU ARE THE BOSS!!! Let your delivery nurse know that you would prefer to share the delivery with just your husband. Delivery nurses are fabulous advocates for their patients. You might want to allow her to come for part of your labor so she wont feel left out, but when push time comes, she needs to step out.
My theory has always been, if they wern’t present at the conception, they shouldn’t be present at the birth!!!