My MIL has disliked me from the moment she met me. I was too naive to see it. In the beginning, I chalked up all her snide and rude comments to being old, tired and plain grumpy. Little did I know that she would try everything in her power to destroy our marriage. She did things like mailed photos and articles of hubby’s exes to us. Or called with some old girl friend’s number in case he felt like chatting. She also would act overly sweet to me in front of hubby, which made me feel uncomfortable because I couldn’t quite understand the sticky sweet tone in her voice knowing full well that was not really how she felt about me. Even sadder, her manipulations and negativity spilled over to hubby’s siblings. They became just as nasty to me as she was… her attitude and behavior allowed and encouraged her other children to treat me just as cruelly. My SIL used to be very close to her brother (my hubby) but her attitude, comments and actions have put a strain on their relationship. My SIL is a mini version of her own horrible mother. Both are mean, nasty, insecure, jealous, miserable and childish women. They are the biggest bitches I have ever known. So I’m not dealing with one crazy, messed up woman but two. Over the years I’ve come to realize a lot of the problems they have caused are simply a reflection of their own jealousies and insecurities with themselves. I represent the kind of woman they can never become. I’m their whipping post and scapegoat because they hate themselves. Yet, still, all the things they have done and said have hurt me very deeply. It’s hard to understand how people can hate you so much with no idea of who you are. I waited for them to try and get to know me for I longed to get to know my new family. It never happened. They had no interest whatsoever in creating a happy, friendly, nice and respectful relationship with me. I’ve cried for months off and on through the years. I’ve tried everything in my power to make these horrible relationships with my ILs work. Frankly, over time, I grew tired of trying. No matter what was done, nothing changed except got worse. Eventually, my MIL and I had a very bad nasty fight. She announced she couldn’t wait for her son to divorce me and even hinted that he was going to soon (a complete lie). Oh, she made it very clear that she hated me. She left no doubt, how she had behaved through the years was in an effort to sabotage our love, marriage and family. It pushed me over the edge. After weeks of alternately crying, sleeping and not being able to get out of bed, I went to the Dr for antidepressants. I was desperate. I’ve been taking Zoloft for almost 6 months. I feel much better.
My attitude is different now. I have found the only way to fight hatred is with hate because it’s all some people understand. I don’t like to think that it has come to hate but it has….I no longer trust or respect them in any manner. I don’t spend any time with hubby’s mothers’ family. I don’t go out of my way to entertain or cook whenever they visit nor to greet or say goodbye to them. I’m usually a sticker for proper etiquette but not for them. No cards for holidays or birthdays. I’m only reciprocating in the manner they have so graciously treated me. They can kiss my ass for all I care! If my MIL sends something in the mail for our child, no thank you note. Hubby can phone and let our child say thank you at his discretion, I’m out of the picture. I don’t answer the phone if they call. I can’t stand to talk, see or be around any of them. In my mind they don’t deserve any kind of common curtsy or respect since they never gave it to me. They lost that some time ago and most likely will never get it back. I keep myself emotionally and physically distant from my MIL and SIL in an effort to maintain my own sanity. I have to have this attitude for myself. So far……it seems to be working.

This post was submitted by AsadDIL.