I hate my MIL and FIL

by Sara on 11/24 @ 2:12am

wow, let me tell you that I hate my father in law, he is a horrible person and I wish he would leave my family alone, he is just a fake person. He recently told his own daughter that he hates her and does not want anything to do with her. He lives with my family, I have a three year old and a one year old, he stays with us, he works and does not give us any of this money to help around the bills, he has special channels to watch on tv, we pay for his cell phone all the food he eats, and let me tell u he eats like a damn horse, i have never seen anyone eat like that, its disgusting. any ways like i was saying, he doesnt help with anything and he loves to go out all the time and drink, then come home drunk and act stupid,his wife is over seas and does not live with us yet, well she said when she comes here that she wants to live in the same house as us but she has to have her own room, she does not want to be in the same room as my father in law, honestly i want to kill myself if she ends up living with us,lool, man i hate this crap, my husband is mostly on my side but he is on his moms side too, he hates his dad cause his dad has never been there for him, not even financially, no help once so ever,,,,,well i have no idea what to do, i need this man out of my house and when his wife comes she better not live us us, but i have that nasty feeling that she will and my marriage will be at stake, pleaseeeee help, im only 24 and going through all this for about 3 years now, man i cant handle this

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3 Responses to “I hate my MIL and FIL”

Disrespectful DIL said on 11/24/08 @ 9:04am

People will only do to you what you will put up with. If MIL moves in, she won’t be moving out. You need to set ground rules for the FIL, if he does not wish to abide by them, provide an exit date and stick with it or you are stuck with this freeloader.

mck said on 12/25/08 @ 6:22pm

I have to agree. My in-laws moved into my house, too, but before they did, I spoke to several lawyers about legal ramifications, etc. Then, I made them pay for 50% of everything, built them a separate kitchen to make their own meals, charged them for mileage if we drove them places, etc. When they broke the house rules (like smoking on the property) I had no problem telling them to stop. When they had their grand-daughter coming over with enough laundry for an entire neighborhood, I had no problem telling her to go to the laundromat (I was the one paying for water, electricity and wear/tear on my property). When her children tore up my garden, I had no problem lecturing them about proper visitor etiquette. I wasn’t being unkind, or cheap. They were. It’s called bullying. When people don’t respect other people’s lives and property, it’s bullying. Plain and simple. And if you do any research on bullies, the only way to respond is to push back. Without apology.

People need to pay for their own lives, unless they’re destitute. Those people were furious, but I felt fine. And, as far as I was concerned, my well-being was paramount in my home, not theirs. After all, I wasn’t about to schlep over to the DIL’s house with my dishes to wash them in her sink.

So I was okay with them being there because it didn’t cost me anything. They never said a word to me, although in the end, it all fell apart anyway. But I have never felt they ripped me off financially, which I think is where a lot of people get stuck when living with in-laws. And I allowed very little to be said that I didn’t confront–like jibes–with the simple comment, “Is that a jibe?”

Nothing shuts up or stops cold a bully like confrontation, because bullies are really just loud cowards, who, when confronted, run like the yellow-bellies they are.