Hi All,
I am married for about a year. Right from the first week of the wedding I had problems with MIL and I cant tolerate her. She used to insult me each and every day. I used to this with my husband and he used to tell his mom not to do like this but she never tried to change and we were helpless. She insulted me which is ok and i kept quite but one day my parents had come home and she insulted both my mom and dad and made her leave the house immediately. that is a very bad experince. This happened 4 months after our marriage. After this incident I had lost all my patience so I made my point clear that I cant share the space and I cant live under the same roof with the person who has insulted my parents and kicked them out of the house in front of me without any reason.Then my husband decided that we will stay separate. MIL started staying with her husband. All these days she was staying in her son’s house and not with her husband. Initially I used to think that finally I got a family and house of my own and I can be happy from now on. But that was not the truth. Actually she is not staying separate. Instead she will not be at home when I am around. Whenever I go to office or parnets house the very next minute she will come home. Then I realised she is not staying separate she is still part of the family and house. Basically she wants to have all the control. I discussed this with my husband about that promise he made that only we both will stay together. Now he is telling that this is her house and she can come and go anytime she wants and I cant tell her not come when we are not there. She can do whatever she wants. Then I realised that I will never get family and home of my own so I kept quite with I have. I convince myself that she will not be at home when i am there so i can be peaceful. My problem/confusion now is… I have accepted the reality and i am living with it. but my husband and his mom are not able to accept the reality that MIL cant stay with us and they both act cranky many a times. My confusion is Should I keep quite so that my husband will take some time to understand the reality and live it or should I go an talk to MIL and be normal with her so that my husband will not be hurt. But I am badly hurt for whatever she has done and I dont want to even see her. Her presence irritates me. I am more peaceful in her absence. Please advice me what to do now?? to stay calm and silent or take the initiative and get the things back to normal forgetting all the insults she has made to me and my parents?
Thanks
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Advice
4 Responses to “I dont like to even see my Mother In Law”
I think it’s your mother in law that has to ask for your forgiveness, not you.
She insulted you and your parents for no given reason.
She’s in the wrong, not you or your husband.
You should probablly have a talk with your husband and make him understand that what your MIL did to you and your parents was simply not acceptable behavior and it was very hurtful to you.
He needs to understand your position so that you and him both can come to a conclusion about targeting your MIL together.
This is probablly something you want to do with him and not alone.
Good luck
Uhhh MIL has got to go! That is NOT her home, it is yours and your husbands. If he is not helping you by standing up to her as well, seek counciling, if that doesn’t help…run.
Personally if it was me i would have my husband choose which one of us he wants me or mommy dearest, but thats just me. But seriously she has to leave if she’s doing all this damage to your marriage.
You poor lady, let your husband know how you feel even if he gets upset because later on I can guarantee you that you will resent him because that’s exactly what happened to me. And if this is her house legally then suggest to him you need your OWN, even if its an apartment.