My husband and I have been together for ten years and ever since we started dating his mother has been in our relationship with us. When we had our little boy things became worse and pushing us apart. My husband and I are now separated and he has moved out and well she has moved in with me. I can’t stand being around her, and I am the type of person that doesn’t want to deal with confrontation. So I have given her everything she wants. I know if I tell her I’m going to move out and give her a month notice she will go psycho. And when I say psycho I mean she is a crazy women. Been to prison several times, alcoholic, always picking a fight, lies all the time, and always has to win an argument. But since I have been around her and she has been running me for more then ten years its hard for me, for some reason, to break free of her. I would love to tell her how I feel and move out and maybe just be civil to each other so she can still spend time with her grandson. But I am worried about this enough that I want to get a restraining order as soon as possible. I don’t know what to do. If it was anyone else I would sit them down and tell them that I will be moving out and that a months rent is paid in advance so the only thing to pay is utilities. And most people would think that was a great thing but not her. Please tell me if I should just leave during the weekend move my things out and tell her when she gets back so I don’t have to worry about my belongings well being and mine. Or should I sit her down and tell her and hope for the best.
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the internationally-recognized website, motherinlawhell.com.
Advice
3 Responses to “I don’t know how to go about this….”
You need to get help from a battered womens shelter. You are living with an abuser and subjecting your son to her abuse as well?? What is wrong with you? Your ex husband leaves you and she is still with you but you hate her? How can you allow yourself to live like this? Don’t tell her you are going to move. Just do it, just pack up your crap and leave and don’t leave a forwarding address. People treat us the way we teach them to treat us. Obviously you’ve taught her she can wipe her dirty boots on you and you’ll just lay there and take it. That’s too bad, life is too short to subject yourself to such a nasty person.
Holy cow! Get out of there now! Don’t say anything, just leave. You can get the cops to escort you back to pick up your things. Get the heck out and never look back.
- the shiksagoddess
First, make secret arrangements to leave. Keep your address secret. Get a restraining order secretly. Then pack and move secretly. Leave one month’s rent, or whatever’s legal, but leave asap.
The trick is to get out, and sometimes no cost is too high. You need to leave. Think what your son is learning about relationships by your relationship to your MIL–never stand up for yourself, no self-respect, etc. It’s important you show your son how normal, decent people behave who respect themselves and are able to act sanely in insane situations.
Good luck.