Mother-in-law Hell

I am going to start from the beginning my father-in-law past way 13 years ago. My mother-in-law never remarried. She has 4 kids ages now 23,22,20,and 14. When my-father-in-law past way, she was given the insurance money totally up or over 80,000 dollars plus she was receiving Social Security benefits for her self and 4 kids. I have known that she had put most of that money in stocks and bonds and she has this in Mexico. I also learned that my father-in-law has another son of 25yrs old here. And the reason my mother-in-law buried my father-in-law in Mexico is because she did not want to give the ex any money for his other son. Ok with that said after all of this my-mother-in-law dedicated her self to work day and night. (wondering about the kids) ok well all the kids had either a aunt or cousin take care of them. The 3 older ones have all told me that they have very little memory of there mother spending time with them. Well my mother-in-law says different but wishes she had different relationships with all her kids. I have to force my husband to go visit her. They have no communication what so ever this hurts me alot. My mother-in-law wants my help. I agreed to talk to her and tell her some of what I know. I have talk to her on many occasions I told her if she want to start a communication with her children that she had to show them. I told her that she taught them how to hold everything inside and that is what there doing. She never taught them to express them self’s. I told her that she had to start everything all over again. She told me that I did not know what I was talking about cause I did not any kids. That I would never know until I had kids. With each kid she is having a different problem. The 14 yr old has never been disciplined in her life. She is talking back and more. My brother-in-law still live at home 22 and does not want to help pay bill but because they just found out that there father had left them money. And he does not understand that why she is always asking him for money if she does have money. My sister-in-law is in prison. This is her third time my mother-in-law is trying to hide it from everyone they have been told that she is out of town taking care of her uncle who is sick (not) that she is studying in out of town. Her daughter has told her time and time again that this does not make her fell like she can move on from her past. My mother-in-law does not understand. I don’t know what to tell her anymore. Please help!!!