Mother-in-law Hell

It is amazing, but my MIL was a totally different person when I was dating my husband–and so was my husband for that matter. My MIL was so careful about what she said to me and tried to befriend me. I always felt some unspoken energy coming from her that she was very anxious for her son and I to get engaged. Sounds great, right? WRONG!!! Keep reading. My girlfriend thought it was such a great thing that my husband spoke to his mother every day. “Wow, if he treats his mother that way, just imagine how he will treat you.” Needless to say, I married a mommasboy–PURE AND SIMPLE. A man–grown man–who has not learned how to cut the apron strings, and a mother who has no boundaries or strenghth enough of her own to cut them herself. When we got engaged she was so excited that she was panting like a wild bore. I couldn’t understand what the hell was wrong with her. It was, I came to realize as we planned our wedding, that she finally had something she could dig her hands into. (This is a woman that is a lost soul and has no idea where her life is headed.) So right away was asking us about the wedding and where were we thinking of having it, when, and making her suggestions. At first, my husband was great at keeping her at bay. “Let’s do what we want to do,” he said. “Let’s not let anyone push us into anything.” He was great at shutting his mom up when we dated and in the beginning of the wedding planning. Well, I even tried including her in the planning since her only daughter lives far away–can’t imagine why–and I was trying to start off on the right foot. On top of that, out of the goodness of my heart, and again, because i wanted to start off on the right foot and wanted his family to feel comfortable, chose to give up my dream of getting married in a church so we could be married by a priest and a rabbi. Well, apparantly that was not enough–keep in mind my husband and I paid for our wedding. It turned into wedding hell no matter how hard I tried to do all of the right things. When all was said and done, and the wedding was beautiful, although some things did not go exactly as planned, I was the bad guy!!! Imagine that! So to make this long story somewhat shorter, things had gotten somewhat better since then–until now!!!! She has errupted once again. Except now, since I befriended her over this past year I know all of her weaknesses and softspots–and am prepared to use what I have since my husband clearly does not have the balls to put her in her place. We are talking about starting a family, but I am scared as hell of the stuff she is going to pull with that. What do I do? I used to feel that I could talk to my husband about anything, but now I know this is one HUGE area of our marriage where we are clearly divided. I know he knows how is mother is because there is plenty he does not tell her, but he will not give me the confirmation that I need about what I am seeing and feeling. Do I start a family and not let her control our decisions? HELP!!!!