Mother-in-law Hell

Hi Holly,
I just went through a very similar situation myself. You need to explain to your husband that this has nothing to do with being Spanish or not being Spanish (I am from Peru and my entire family lives on the same block). It has to do with the following:

1. His financial responsibility to his family (you and your combined children)
2. The sister’s track record
3. The possibility of ruining his credit if she defaults because you won’t be able to afford to pay it

Now, there is another option. You can get an apartment with bad credit. They take more of a security deposit upfront. If he is so set on helping her, then you all go to the apartment complex and see what the options are. Let him give the complex some of the security deposit. This way, if she doesn’t pay the monthly payment, you and your husband won’t be held accountable. The worse thing that happens is that you lose the deposit.

If the his mother is gonna pay, & she can’t sign b/c of her credit…that should speak 4 itself…
If her credit’s so bad that she’s unable to sign 4 her daughter, then how in the hell is she gonna be able to pay U guys back..I mean her credits shot so what can U expect..

Uh, Holly are you not family now? I understand the whole concept of family coming first, I come from a very close knit family. I also have an irresponsible brother that we have bailed out time and again. (In no small part because her has a small daughter). When you had his baby, you became part of that family. When he asked you to marry him, he said that he is committing himself to you first. You two have a combined three children. They come before the adults. If his sister is financially irresponsible To enable his sister is foolish. Stick to your guns, I know it is difficult, but if she is look into what other options there are, it is not worth a fight if she wants to do better and will. I really hope this will help you. Good luck

You two do not need to finance this sister. If your “boyfriend” insists, then walk away, but make sure that he pays child support to your child. Sounds like a mess.

I was thinking the same thing. His sister is an adult she is old enough to pay her way. And his mother should be more of a mother and help the sister and NOT have to get the WHOLE family involved. What is she trying to do.. Make it so EVERYONE in the family has bad credit, and not get head in life.
If I were you, I’d make your husband see what is going on and tell him that they are all adults and you don’t want to get draged down with the boat if it sinks!!

No, no, no, no, no!

Hi Holly! I am “Spanish” Cuban Dominican American. And what your husband said being spanish… Is a bunch of Malarky!!! No matter what race you are culture whether tight knit or distant YOU NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR CREDIT TO ANYONE! Please watch the Suzie Ormond show some time google her. His sister and mother are not your problem. You are living paycheck to paycheck and you have children and yourselves to support!You are setting your self up for failure when mixing family and their problems and your good credit or money for that matter. Sorry ! Tell him it’s you or them. Don’t let him screw up your credit.
Look give a suggestion like the sister needs to think in her means beggers can’t be choosers, Tell her to look in the want ads and rent a room from someone, hell tell her to live with her problem. The nice version. We’re so sorry but our credit is also bad and financially we can’t accomodate you, but check craigslist.org there are tons of cheap rooms and studios for rent:)
Oh by the way. “Spanish” guys are huge MAMAS Boys and Latin Mothers know how to throw on their version of the Jewish Mothers Guilt.
Moral of story always put your child you first take care of your own.
Hope I opened your eyes a bit.

Sorry typo on the line that says hell tell her to live with her problem, I meant tell her to live with her mother.

Please don’t do it ! She, his sister, is an adult. Momma is laying guilt. Sister should be ashamed.Where’s her ” Spanish Pride”!!?? Tell her to Get a 2nd job and live with momma till she has enough to put a deposit. And to Stop expecting every one else to bail her out. you have enough on your dish to have them force this on you also. Veronica had a great idea. help with the deposit. We got stuck with almost same problem 28 years ago. But was brother in law. 28 years later he still owes me $900, we allowed him to move in with us to help. he stole from us, ran up long distance phone calls after we left for work, never paid those. Then took off back to where he came from, with out paying us a cent. He is now 58, and the family is still bailing him out. Don’t get caught up in the trap. And they are Italion by the way an duse the same tired line. Just insert Italion or Spanish, it dopesnt matter. All the same ball of garbage for some one too lazy to do on their own and an enabler mother.

Absolutely not! If he insists, start separating your finances from his.

buyer beware
don’t do it. If they can’t sign it is not your place to support this women after being out of the family so long.

LEAVE HIM! I am not joking. If your fiance has no more regard for common sense and your feelings, he doesn’t deserve you. I don’t care if you love him. If he chooses to put his sister’s lack of good credit first, then you need to put yourself first and leave him.

I am late in the game but had to give you a (((hug))) You really need to evaluate your relationship with your DH. He has just put you two in a very very bad spot. IF your sil hasn’t already I predict soon she will stop paying rent and just leave. You and DH will be stuck with the remainder of the rent. MIL will suddenly have no money to help out.

I had a similar situation with my MIL and decided to go back to school in preparation of a job that I will enjoy but wo’nt pay much, be a stay at home mom. I am not sending a quarter of my take home pay to his brother and mother, I would rather not work or work at home . He quickly is scrambling to make more money so he can support everyone!