Future MIL Holds Engagement Ring Hostage
by Karie on 08/16 @ 12:33amI have been dating my boyfriend for two years. About six months ago we began to talk of engagement. Around this time, he mentioned it to his mom, who volunteered her engagement/wedding ring to give me when he proposed (his dad passed away several years ago). My bf thought this was great.
BUT…his older sister was getting married in August and he had to wait until after her wedding to propose and give me the ring.
Well, his sister’s wedding came and went. It was about 3 weeks ago.
Where is the ring?
My bf has confronted her several times about it, and she will just change the subject.
It has been interfering with our plans. I am a teacher and I am going back to work next week. We planned to get engaged and elope (everyone has given their approval for the elopement). My parents have offered to give me several thousand dollars when I elope, basically they said they would give me the money they would’ve paid for a wedding. My bf has been very ill lately, had surgery, visited several specialists, etc. He has no health insurance. When we get married, I can put him on my health insurance plan and save us thousands of dollars a year. Our leases are coming to an end and we plan to move in together. Although we planned that by the time our leases were up, we’d be engaged.
My future MIL is really #$%^# with our life. It really hurts. Meanwhile, when I talked to her earlier today (we are going to go over there this evening to talk with her about the lack of ring) she didn’t fail to mention how his sister was just having a grand time on her honeymoon.
Loading ...
Advice
11 Responses to “Future MIL Holds Engagement Ring Hostage”
I would forget about her ring. If FDH does not have the money to buy you one, get married without one. I would not take anything from the old hag EVER!
Who says you need an engagement ring to get engaged?!?! I wouldn’t want her ring after this anyway! I say elope and get on with your lives, if your bf doesn’t have the money for a ring now, maybe you guys could just buy wedding bands for now and get something more extravagant when the time is right.
Why wait for the ring???She has the power which she might be loving it.Little does she know that she can shove the ring where the sun dont shine.Have you seen it??Id tell her tonight nicely with a smile cause that drives them nuts.Say I just wanted to let you know again that my parents are offering to ay for the wedding and were thinking about going here soon.We really dont need the ring becasue we seat aside some money for it already but thanks.Go get married to the man that you love,love the moment and vac and drink to not have a mil that feels like she has the control of you guys and your wedding plans.Have fun!Take a picture of her face when she flips and put it in the photo album lol!!!
i would just forget about her ring too. she’s obviously getting a kick out of controlling when you get it, so just forget it. anyways, she probably thinks you should be eternally grateful to her if you did accept it. that’s my advice, hope that helps!
What do you need that ring for? Take the money your parents are giving you for no reason and buy yourself a ring if you really need one. Why are you depending on your MIL? It doesn’t even sound like she’s being controlling-it sounds as if she changed her mind because she realized that she wants to keep her ring (a ring that probably means a lot to her) and doesn’t know how to confront either of you about it. Have a heart and let your MIL keep the ring her now deceased husband gave her!
hey its like this.. i have been married to for the last 6 years.. and guess what.. i got my engagement ring.. 2 days after we got married… so just quit with all your excuses and and get married.. if YOUR folks are willing to help out.. and his ain’t.. well they really don’t need to be there do they.. just think that its you and him against the world.. i know that is how it is in my house..
Why in the world would you want to have her ring anyway? I hope you go ahead with the engagement, and maybe you can pick out a ring later on that has special meaning to you and your bf.
I would not sweat nobody for a ring. Especially not an engagment ring. The next time you see that hefer tell her to give it to his sister, the homeless, the pawnshop keeper, anybody. The only thing that matters is that you truly love this man and yall will get married. dont let the devil put you in this con game man, dont do it. Like i tell my daughters, in life you work, you buy things, but when you die you cant take it with you. Show God that you are above material things especially if you gotta constantly ask someone for something. She wants you to ask for it. Dont fall for the trap that the devil is throwing you.
I’m with the other folks. Bag the ring, sweetie, and keep a safe distance from this toxic woman. To be the bigger people in all this, perhaps your intended could say to his mother, “It’s obvious that you’re conflicted and changed your mind about giving us the ring. We’re disappointed, but we’ll get over it. We’re not going to ask you for it again.”
And then, DON’T ASK FOR IT ANY MORE. And don’t ever bring it up again. Just let it go.
Personally, I think that a small ceremony with loving family and friends is better than eloping. If his mother can behave herself, then invite her. If not, let her stay home and have only those who are supportive of your marriage there. It just helps the marriage in the long run to have an “official” celebration with your near and dear, and it doesn’t have to be a full-blown Barbie doll affair.
Again…why would you want her ring? And what is his problem that he wont go get one on his own? Besides, the ring is just one more thing she has to hold over your head for the rest of her life.
The ring I am sure has bad karma that comes along with it! Focus on the pure and wonderful relationship, his health and creating a beautiful contract of love for the both of you and your special day. Write your vows, have picnics, don’t even give her a thought. There are great rings on overstock.com for very inexpensive if you feel you need to exchange rings. Also the Wedding Goddess is a very good book to read. Go on with your amazing selves!!