First of all thank God I’ve found this website. I know this aint going to solve my problems but at least I can get rid of my story.
Some basic information:
I’m 23 years old, together with 27 year old guy who’s from another country. (We are both from Europe but speak different language, we communicate therefore in English) Before this relationship I’ve been together with someone else for 4 years and back then I had a wonderful Mother in Law who was really nice for me. 3 Years ago I’ve met my current boyfriend and after 1 year we got together. We were living seperated from each other. 4 months ago I’ve moved to his country into his house. We live in the mountains, in a village far away from civallisation. He lives basically with his parents. 2 seperate houses, 1 for us, 1 for Mommy, Daddy & Grandmother. We have in our house 3 bedrooms, 1 livingroom and 1 bathroom. Only the bathroom & 1 bedroom are used, in the others are stuff from his parents. We have to share the kitchen in the other house. Means we kinda are forced to eat with his parents. I still work for the company in my own country, I do that through the pc. My boyfriend works at his parents place, cause we have a farm here. We decided to move here cause the house is there and wasn’t used by anyone, we did had the option to move in an apartment in a town but that would mean a lot extra costs such as benzine and so on. Besides that my future parents in law insisted us to live here. I did not knew them so well when I came here.. this have changed, I know them now enough to say I have an inlaw family from hell.(This does not include my boyfriends brother and his gf, they are very sweet but live unfortenately a lot of miles away from here.)

Ok here I go.. I can write a book about it cause so many things bother me. So if you got time, sit and read

The first things that started to annoy me were household thingies. His mother does not like to: Cook & Clean. The grandmother cooks, and noone cleans. I come from West-Europe, I moved into East-Europe. As some of you know its a slight difference when u talk about hygiene, modern, conditions. We do not have drinkable water in the house. Either way it was quite a shock for me when I arrived. I did visit them before but in these moments you do not care about those things so much as when you actually live in this mess. My family in law does not shower everyday, actually more like once in 4 or 5 days. The grandmother never showers. They stink, they smell after the cow, chicken, sheep and what else animals on the farm. They like to huggle me sometimes. (I do not like, care to explain why :p ) After a while I’ve took over the cleaning and also partly the cooking job. Things are clean now, the kitchen looks liveable and also their own bathroom. It took hours and worse it took courage cause I can tell you if someone have a toilet and it was not cleaned for more than 6 months.. it is not really a nice job to do. You can imagine that when you have cleaned and did your best to make it all look nice and the next day when u come in that house and you see nothing is left of how you left it the other day you get frustrated.
I tried and did just not make it a problem cause I cannot and I do not want to change their way of living. The problem is that we live there basically too, we use the kitchen and therefore it does sucks for me.
My futher in law mother likes to treat my boyfriend like he’s still 5 years old. When I make food or when his grandmother make food, (as mentioned before she herself does not) she dares to put the food on a plate and give it to him. She does it with those annoying words like: oh honey do u want a bit of this and looks nice eh and you should eat more cause you’re getting skinny. (he’s not skinny at all) Granny makes a lot of traditional food and I don’t like it, so I make something else. They always whine and bitch to me that I’m not liking them cause I don’t eat what they make and so on. Now I’ll summarize a bit of what my future mother in law and grannie in law dares to say all to me (of course mostly when my boyfriend is not around) oh.. your jacket is so not elegant, you are looking like a slut, you are wearing too sexy clothes, no you don’t have to do and that like that, you should do it like this. Well you’ve all heard it many times I guess. My future mother in law comes a lot in our house, she always have an excuse, oh I needed something from this room. (the things in those rooms are here cause they are never used) One night I just went out of the house to go into the other house to get some food. Milady was calling my boyfriends name, I told her not to go in the house cause he’s sleeping. (which was true and he was also naked) She did not listen to me of course and went in the house. 1 hour later my boyfriend tells me that his grandmother was telling him; “What did your gf do to your mother cause she’s all upset”. Well wtf, I didn’t do anything just said her to not go in.
My future mother in law is religious, nothing wrong with that but I’m just not. She bugs me at least 20 times a day to pray to God cause I’m bad person. She said straight in my face that she does not like that he did not came home with a woman from his own country. I have cats, 2 babycats actually, they are now 3 and 4 months old. Everyone knows that cow milk (and especially not fresh from the cow) is good for cats. They have lactose-intolerance. (not all of them but lets say 90%) I told them to not give milk, I said that over million times. I buy from my own money the food for the cats. The cats have diarrea, I’ve did medicines and everything for good care of them. They promised me to not give milk again. Ok I believed it. The cat got diarrea again.. I was wondering how that was possible. I saw even those dirty milk pieces in their poop. I knew that something was wrong with them. (they do not have worms as they just have gotten their tablets etc) Oh well I’ve waited till the night and when Grannie and Mommy went to bed I check in the basement what was there. Oh my God.. there was the milk. I threw it away and I also threw away the plate where it was on. The next day I checked again when they were asleep and the same plate was there. I’m very sorry but did they just really took it out of the garbage? This time I acted smarter and threw it away in the garbage from the neighbours. After that this happened few times with other plates and every night I threw it away, after a while this stopped. But I’m so pissed that my word: Don’t give them milk. Is not good enough for them.
And ofc many other things happened; she always asks where we go, what time we come home, if we had fights, if I have other boyfriend in my own country, if I’m cheating on her son, if this and if that. Just he regular stuff. But right now after I went through all of this shit yesterday something happened that just really slammed the door for me.
I went in the centrum of this village to buy a package of cigarettes, in fact I never go there cause we have a shop closer but they don’t have my favo ciggies. The owner of the shop around 55 years old thought it was nice to grab my head and give me a licking job on my mouth. I pushed him away and ran out of the store. I almost got a car accident cause I was in shock. Ok it was not a rape, but I think it was bad enough to give me this very scary feeling. Arrived at home I got all the support from my boyfriend that I needed. Though I miss my own mom and I asked him when his mom was coming home so she could give me some support. Well that was wrong thought from me. When the woman came home and heard the story from my boyfriend she started to laugh and laugh and told me it was a joke and that she doesn’t believe me. Oh my Goodness, I said to her that I’m damn happy that she does not have a daughter on her own cause what mother says that? To be honest I think she wouldn’t give this reaction though if I was her own daughter. I was so upset and so disseappointed in her. How can you say it was a joke? Then 5 minutes later the dinner was there and we all sat on table, grannie and mommy were laughing me out all the time and telling its a joke. It was just humiliating. I’ve no idea what I did to her that I deserve this. I’ve had enough especially because my boyfriend does not have the guts to say something about it. He does say sometimes leave her alone or now its enough. But yesterday she went too far and my boyfriend did not say anything about it. I don’t want to live here anymore and I said to my boyfriend that we have to live alone or I’m going back to my own country. My boyfriend said he got enough from all the fights that we have and say he want me to go back to my own country. I was upset cause we only have fights about his stupid mother/grannie. (we do not have any problems with his father) He admit that our fights are only about that and after a good talk we decided to really go move away from them. There’s just one problem, the apartment at the moment is filled with a family and they have 2 young kids, we can threw them out but I do not want to give myself a better life and to put those kids on the street. We have to wait now 2 months. Till than I just do not want to speak with his mom anymore.
Ok… that was a long story. I hope you understand how I feel a bit and feel free to advise me.. thanks for reading.

This post was submitted by Judith.