I’ve been married to my husband for 4-1/2 years, we’ve only known each other for 5 years. This starts the first problem with my MIL.
Since day one, My mother in law has despised me b/c she did not get to pick me out for her son. I was some strange girl who was from another state, who her son brought home one summer. She has controlled my husband his entire life and when she felt loss of control she would then resort to violence and abuse, nobody would believe this story however since she was raised in a southern baptist church and was so far up the bibles butt she would never do no wrong. RIGHT!
We met in Hawaii and lived in Hawaii for the first 3 years of our marriage so it wasn’t TOO to bad at that time but she did still control our marriage and fly out to visit without asking with us first, so we’d then have to cancel our prior plans since she loved to ruin Holidays. This woman buys us things just to us them as control b/c she thinks since she buys things then we MUST be nice to her. My husband says this has been going on like that his whole life.
Ok, no to more recent events. In 2008, we moved. She got fired from her job, for making a dramatic, psychotic scene in front of the whole hospital, drove allllll the way across the country to move in with us without even asking!!! She told us and everyone she encountered that she will follow us wherever we go. While living in our house, she tried to control everything. She even would not let me park my car in my drive way so, since we lived on base, I had to park all the way down the street. She would leave me out, she’d only cook for her son (she says MY SUUN, all the time by the way. It’s her sunn. (Saying this in her most annoying, nasally, fake southern accent)). She’d walk around our home in her panties, in front of her 25 year old son. We went to Disneyland and she controlled every part of that trip also. She tried to sleep between my husband and I, she told everyone she came across in the park about her precious son and told them when we are having kids, where we’re moving to next, and how she will follow us wherever we go. (Did I mention my husband is in the navy? So WE don’t even know where we’re going next). I told her we’re not having kids at that time so she goes off and tells anyone who will listen, b/c apparently nobody in her home town can stand her so she has to talk to anyone who is near her, she tells them that I am holding her son back from having kids. She also tells people I control him and I won’t let him see his family. Let me explain this point real quick. His dad was finally able to leave that crazy b****, so when we go home to visit we have to divide our time between the two but she won’t let us b/c it’s HER world. My family lives 5 hours from his family. I have a HUGE family and he literally has 6 people in his entire family, no aunts, no uncles, no cousins, and one sister. When we go there, she controls everything minute of his day. Forcing him to go visit this person and that person and if he doesn’t she them throws a 5 year old temper tantrum, folds her arms up, and cries. And guess what??? tTey chase after her. LOL. Can you believe it?!?! She’s 53 years old. Anyways, he doesn’t like going to his moms house so he is actually the one who controls the holiday situation. He loves being with my family and his dad, not his mom. He is so stressed when she’s around b/c she hangs all over him and won’t shut her big mouth.

She always cries and says that she’s the victim, when she doesn’t get her way. She’s ALWAYS right, and let me tell you, she is seriously one of the dumbest people I have ever met and I am still trying to figure out how she has a nursing degree. If she’s not in control, then all hell breaks lose. Everyone makes excuses for her by saying “she doesn’t know any better” “she means well”. she knows exactly what she’s doing!
Oh, I almost forgot. back in the summer when my husband came home I threw him a homecoming party and with the invitations I wrote a newsletter about him. She took my newsletter and added things to it, like her name and her own picture. posted it in the newspaper with HIS PHONE NUMBER encouraging friends to call him. She never once mentioned anything about him being married or my name. His friends knew his phone number so the people who called and texted him from reading that were girls who she had talked to all the time about her son. She is always eager to put something in the news paper about her son b/c she wants to take the credit and have her name and picture in with it also. psychoooooo.

I wish I had a video of her, you all would just die. She is the most annoying human being I have ever met in my life. Her voice, her accent, her constant running of the mouth but nothing comes out, EVERYTHING. I am disgusted with her in every way.

I will have more to write later, this is just a a sampler of the hell I go through with this lady and she lives 16 hours away!!!! The constant text messaging and calling to my husband is very obsessive. When he doesn’t reply, she sends messages like she’s crying saying “I hope I didn’t say anything wrong” ” I love you son, please dont be mad at me. Why wont you talk to me”. She seems like the crazy ex gf,huh?
I am seriously In misery and I am considering divorce if he doesn’t grow some and stand up to her. Tell her when she’s wrong and tell her to stop bad mouthing me to his family. BUT If we divorce then that crazy b**** wins and that’s the last thing I want. I never want her to have any satisfaction of that. I also told my husband that while she’s alive, I will NOT have children b/c I do not want my children anywhere around her. It’s not b/c I want control, it’s b/c I seriously think she is controlled by Satan and needs to be locked away. She had the coldest darkest looking eyes you’d ever seen.

I know this is just a big ol’ mess of complaints but I am trying to get everything out at once and I’m getting angry while doing so which makes typing correctly much harder to do.lol

When we got married, I had to pay for my wife’s insurance premium as well. Still, this is no big deal for me. However, when my wife got pregnant with our first child, my MIL was happy not because we are having our first baby, but she gets to hit her sales target of selling a policy. In addition to that, she keeps telling us of what are the diseases will strike in today’s children, giving us a feeling that if we do not buy the policy a.s.a.p., we will be in trouble if the baby is sick. The policy was already prepared, way ahead before my our baby was born. However, the policy can only be activated once our baby’s name is registered with the registrar @ our local immigration office.

As my wife is now pregnant with our 2nd child, I cannot possibly cope with the extra policy based on my current financial status. I have a fixed salary , and the policy of the insurance itself is expensive, which consumes of approximately 40% from my income. Whenever I said I had the intention to terminate my policy, my mil will give a million of reasons why I should not terminate the policy. I understand that if I am earning more, I wouldn’t care if the policy is pricey!.

My wife used to have a vehicle registered under her name, and my MIL had paid for the initial deposit. When we got married, I had to pay for her car installment as well (not a big issue). However, my wife has a younger brother who just graduated overseas in some cosmetic and fashion design. My mil just immediately requested to borrow the vehicle to her son! Therefore, instead of borrowing, I reluctantly gave the car to my brother in law and asked him to service the monthly installment instead.

Another issue that I’m disgruntled is that we always had to have our breakfast, lunch, or dinner together when my mil is present, and do not expect her to pay a single cent. I understand that this is a necessity for the guys to pay (in Chinese tradition), but I am also financially constrained, plus she is also a working adult who is financially stable.

Next thing is more absurd. As we come from a Chinese family, we had to visit the in laws place on the 2nd day of lunar Chinese new year. However, we are geographically 300 miles apart. This means that we had to put up at our in-laws place. However, there is not enough of accommodation there. Hence, I proposed that a house can be rented to accommodate 3 more families. The price was $550, but when sharing out, each of the 3 families had to pay $200, which means that there is an extra of $50. According to my wife, the $50 can be contributed to my mil as “coffee money”.

All these tiny issues summed up a big mountain which makes me so frustrated that I am in the midst of applying to migrate overseas. I need advice from any experts here on whether you all have encountered similar incidence before and share with me on how do I deal with this issue.

So, we flew out to visit them a couple weeks ago and they took TONS of pics. MIL has a professional camera (that we chipped in and bought her for her last christmas). She says she’ll send me them…she always says this…she never does. She’ll load them to facebook, which is fine, but I don’t have a facebook account (long story but work doesn’t allow it). I asked her today if she had any good pics from that weekend and if she could send them to me so I can order prints and I’d order her copies and she tells me she’ll have to take a look and see if there were any good ones and if there are she’ll send them. She never does. With a little snooping thanks to my sister-in-law, I come to find out she had already posted all the pics to FB weeks ago! They’re horrible too. There were a couple nice family shots she could have sent me but for the most part, she knows the majority of them are of me adjusting my top, another with my head cut off – just of me and my midsection holding a water bottle. Um, I just had a baby. Please. Do you need to put these pics on the internet? I JUST told her the other day that I had lost 15lbs of baby weight and I need to lose another 15 and I’ll feel comfortable.

So not only is she hoarding pictures, she’s also telling me she didn’t have any good ones from that weekend so she won’t be sending them to me YET she will post them on FB. I’m upset she would post such awkward shots of me and not share the good ones of me and my family.

Any advice?