Do any of you have a MIL who comes for a visit which is only supposed to be for a week or two but ends up being a month or two? Am I being unreasonable for having a problem with her staying in my home for this long of a time?
For starters, she and I do not have much in common besides my husband. I find her to be deceitful and manipulative. She loves to cause drama and always plays the victim. Once the damage is done she goes home and leaves others to clean up her mess. While she is staying in our home, she takes it upon herself to rearrange our living room, bathroom and kitchen to her liking. I have seen her going through my dresser drawers and opening my mail, which I told my husband about and my MIL told him I was lying.
We have had various verbal altercations in the past between me and my MIL and between my husband and me which always end up with me apologizing. I try to put my foot down but my husband believes I am the unreasonable one because his mother should ALWAYS be welcome in our home for ANY LENGTH OF TIME. I agree that she should be welcome to visit, but with respect for our home, our privacy and for a reasonable timeframe. Why does my husband ignore her behavior and treat me like the bad guy?
This post was submitted by going crAZy.
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8:22 pm
no she should not be welcome to stay fro how ever long she wants. This is your home, not hers. Put your foot down, and tell her she can not stay that long. My mil does the same thing. Only her visits are every 2 years. I won’t go into what hell she causes when she comes fro her visit
5:29 pm
Hello there!
I wonder that myself also why my boyfriend in this case always think that I’m the bad person no matter what his mother does. He either ignores what happends and choses noone’s side or he tells me I should get more respect for his mother. Bla bla bla really. I guess she does everything behind your husband’s back? That is sooo mean and makes it all worse, in the end you’ll just not mention anything but you’ll get the feeling she won isn’t? I don’t know if it helps but as she does things behind his back you could do things behind her back too.. on the times she lives there you could play “sick” and make her do all the work, send her to supermarket cause you cannot, such things? Either way you gotta be careful that those things will not turn against you as those kind of woman are perfect in manipulating and getting everything in their advantage. Goodluck with it but remember when your husband does not stand up for you there’s nothing wrong with playing your own battle with this evil woman.
7:53 pm
You have a husband problem and a MIL problem. As long as your husband thinks it is OK for his mom to “rule the roost” in your home you will never be the woman in your own home. No it is not ok for her to invite herself for extended visits. This is not healthy. She is a guest in your home, guests do not “rearrange” anything. You don’t go to hotel and rearrange the room you are staying in do you? By doing this she is telling you that she is the #1 woman in your husband life and as of right now, she is right.
Your mama’s boy husband and you need marriage counseling, pronto! Hello! She sounds like an overbearing, manipulative hag and your husband is pretty much married to his mommy and fulfills all his emotional needs with her except for one thing. That is the only thing you are good for. Let me guess, does he try to hand your children off to her to raise while she is in your home as well? This is a totally unhealthy, enmeshed relationship.
You need to put up boundaries and stick with them. It is your house too! You don’t have to have a visitor if you don’t want one. When she comes to visit, tell her she can stay in a hotel and then make your husband spend all his time with her. I’ll bet he gets real tired of catering to her real quick without you there to be the buffer and take all of her crap.
Seriously, the only solution is to get marriage counseling with an therapist that specializes in IL relationships or divorce this mama’s boy and send him home to live with his mommy.
6:04 pm
Ok first of…stop appologizing for how you feel. This shows them that eventually you will back down.
Put your foot down, Change the locks, Get a security system!
Put one of your drawers in upside down if possible so when she opens it all the stuff falls out! Make is little breakables stuff!
Hubby is a Momma’s boy. Either get counseling or get out.