Do things to spite you.

by Nicole1707 on 07/27 @ 3:36pm

I hate when people do things just to spite you. Okay I was in a boating accident a few years ago and I don’t want my 11month old to be in the water of any sort without me. I told this to my parents who said okay we respect that we won’t take her swimming without you there. Well we told the same thing to my MIL and she didn’t react the same we were shocked we argued with her and my Sister in-law for 30 on why I was afraid of it and everything and I knew that since she didn’t like me that she was going to do it anyway. Well one day we went out for a couple of hours just my husband and myself .When we called to see how our daughter was doing they said fine she just got out of the pool and is playing in the floor. I was happy to hear that she was fine nothing had happened but I was also really mad because we had asked her not to and just because she doesn’t like me she did it anyway. Well we went immediately to go and pick our daughter up. When we had got there I was gathering her things while my husband talked to them telling them how upset we were with what she had done .When I walked out the door to put the things in the car she asked what was wrong and my husband said it upset me that she would do something like that knowing the circumstances well when she heard that she came barging out the door yelling at me asking me what my problem was not giving me any time to answer b4 asking well you will let her stay the night but you won’t let her swim with us. And then told me to get over myself like that has anything to do with the situation. (My husband practically begs me to leave her there I don’t like it).I told her this isn’t the 1st time that she has done something like this and I can clearly see that she doesn’t cherish that she actually sees her grandbaby but thanks to what just happened she won’t she her again and we haven’t been there since. I feel like I am doing the wrong thing but at the same time I think its right because if they don’t respect what we have to say now then will they ever?

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3 Responses to “Do things to spite you.”

Del said on 07/28/08 @ 6:23am

Oh how I know how you feel….We thought we were so fortunate that, when I had to return to work, MIL was able to watch our 10month old daughter. But my husband & I noticed that during the work week our child was having both energy & emotional outburst. She wouldn’t be able to sleep till after 2am & nothing would console her. We couldn’t figure out what was happening to our usually content & happy child & hoped it was some sort of stage she would grow out of. luckily one day a girlfriend needed to borrow our diesel truck & I used her car. I also got off early from work & when I got to grandma’s house I got a glimpse into what one of our daughter’s days was like. The front door was locked & our 18month old unlocked & opened the screen door…..Grandma was asleep on the couch, all the lower cupboard doors were open and ALL the contents were on the floor, the frig was open & a now warm milk jug was open and pored on the floor. Our daughter was also in the same diaper that we dropped her off in. At first I thought grandma must be dead….then she started snoring. I spend an hour cleaning the kitchen & turned up the TV to blaring levels several times with no reaction from grandma. Then a alarm clock went off…15 minutes before I would normally arrive. I was on the floor still putting stuff away & she didn’t see me. She got up and asked our daughter how her day was and started telling her “We just got back from the zoo didn’t we? We had fun didn’t we?” (she was prompting my daughter on what to agree with) “Let’s change your diaper” even though she was in a clean diaper. & that’s when she took grandma into the kitchen. Grandma asked “did you make a mess today?” I responded “yes she did”. That week was also our daughters 1st dental appointment & she needed over 1,000. worth of dental work done, because she was allowed to eat anything & everything anytime all the time. Needless to say after a few weeks to detox the candy & TV out of our child she returned to being the same sweet dispositioned child she had been before staying at MIL. It’s been 6 years now & I still will not let our kids stay with MIL unsupervised, unless it’s an emergency. Grandpa’s also disrespectful. We have asked him repeatedly not to smoke around the kids & each time he says he doesn’t do that. One day he actually lit up while holding our new born.
I made the mistake of believing that a grand parent would try and take care of their grand child the way the child’s parents want them cared for.
My In-Laws believe the old saying “Grandparents are are allowed to do anything they want with their grand child and are meant to spoil a child & send them home when they start acting up” or something like that.
& Yes I allow our kids to see their grandparents just about anytime they want but I stay to visit too.
I truly could go on and on like the time that grandma had a stroke because she refused to take her heart medication unless she could watch our kids again.
I hope to be a better grand parent than these two, but I know there will be conflicts. I just hope to be more respectful of other parents rules.