It’s not just my MIL my FIL is from Hell too. My husband has been deeply unhappy for several months and something was obviously wrong. After a lot of prying, I finally got him to open up and what he told me sent up an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder red flag (I’m in the medical field). I got him into a doctor an we’ve started treatment and he thinks he is on the right track. He thought all the horrible things he was experiencing were because he was weak and that he needed to suck it up (the way his family handles thing). He asked me to write his family a letter explaining what his diagnosis because he wanted to deal with it in the open. He got an outpouring of love and support from his sisters and aunt. His parents told him he was making it up and that I had caused it! Last night, he very bluntly told them that they could either be part of the solution or get out of our lives. They told him that they knew he had OCD because he was diagnosed when he was 12 (he’s 30 now). That doctor told them that he needed medication. They didn’t accept that so instead of getting a second opinion my reckless in laws decided that he would grow out of it. It wasn’t until my husband was in high school an suicidal that they took him to a behavioral therapist and still didn’t tell him that he had been diagnosed with a mental illness. My husband went off to college and therapy stopped because he didn’t know what was going on.
Funny thing, when we were dating I asked him if he’d ever been evaluated for OCD on two separate occasions because I thought he showed signs. He lied and said he had, but “they” didn’t find anything. It broke my heart last night when my husband said “They knew I had this and they didn’t help….I can’t tell you how much I’ve suffered.” Fortunately, my parents are awesome. We called them at 1 am and they helped talk us through our immediate anger. It’s so sad but I guess very fortunate at the same time, my husband feels more comfortable talking to my parents than his own.
It makes me so angry because if they had told my husband his medical history I could be dealing with the management of an illness that’s been under control for 18 years, my husband wouldn’t feel like he’s just now starting his life, we could have had a happier first year of marriage, my husband would have had a more balanced life, etc etc
They also blamed his mental illness on me! Umm, when he was diagnosed I was in first grade!
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One Response to “Crazy Parents-In-Law Hid My Husband’s Medical History”
As much as it hurts that he could have had help so long ago, just be thankful that you both made it through with your relationship intact and that he is getting the help he needs now. My dad had OCD and I am very familiar with how hard it is when they don’t have treatment (he refused treatment). At least it was only one year of your marriage right? And now you have many good years to look forward to!