This is your friendly, neighborhood web designer, Joelle.

You may have experienced some missing posts or comments here over the last weekend and for that, we apologize.  We are in the process of transitioning to a faaaaaaaaabulous new site for you daughters-in-law… the DIL Society!

During this transition, we experienced a few hiccups which caused some of the missing entries. So please don’t take it personally if your post or comment was here and then *poof!* was gone.  That was on us.

On behalf of Patricia (and me), we’re looking forward to bringing you a super-cool new site, exclusively for daughters-in-law with more features, better forums and more!  Thanks for your patience and please stay tuned!

-Patricia

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.

And, there on television, she said it was “exciting”.

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day…..like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:
“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.”

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life.”

“I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.”

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back”

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

“I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.”

“I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.”

“I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.”

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Here I go with my reminders though…… Sorry if I am becoming a MFH = (

I would like everyone to remember that we are all sisters. We are fighting this battle together so that more of us can either make peace with MILS or at least make peace with ourselves in knowing that we are not alone!

When you post a story be prepared that you may not like every comment that you receive in response. Some have a more blunt approach (tough love) to things while others take the more gentle approach. Things do not always come off the same when it is in writing as it would if it were being spoken. Most importantly, remember we are ALL HUMAN! We all have opinions of our own. Isn’t that one of the main things we are asking our MILs and some DHs to realize? That we too are people and have a voice?

With that being said, let’s remember that what you write does not always come across as you mean it. So please try to take that into account when posting your responses. Lets try to keep our comments courteous to our fellow sisters. We are not all going to agree all the time–we are not saints—but we are sisters!

Thank you all again! I am so proud to be able to say that I am part of this sisterhood!

PS: Don’t forget to check out the Dr Phil clip posted on the main page!

We would like to extend a large WELCOME to all of our new sisters to our DIL Sisterhood!!! We cannot wait to read your stories and hear you advice! We hope that you will find support in your sister DILS!

WOW!!!! What a awesome response from the Dr. Phil Show! We Thank everyone at his show for given us such a great opportunity to get our name out there and let other DILS know that they are not alone and there is a place to vent with others that can relate to what you have been and are going threw!

We do ask that you please remember to keep it discreet. Please do not use any names, locations, or usernames that you commonly use. Any information that is identifiable should be slightly changed. We would like to continue to make sure that your Mother In Law from Hell will never know its you!

With that said we hope that you all continue to enjoy our community as much as we do!

Thank you everyone for helping make our community such a success!

Your MILH Admins!

http://motherinlawhell.com/2010/01/introducing-the-daughter-in-law-society/

Look no further! Mother-in-Law Hell is where sanity prevails. And don’t let the website name mislead you. We don’t think mothers-in-law should burn in hell. When you are dealing with someone who loves the same man you do, you actually feel like you are in some version of hell with no way out… until now!  Think of this website as your secret society of women that are on your side unless of course, we see that you are the problem. Then you need to be prepared for some tough love sister! You’re probably used to an eye roll or sympathetic nod from your hubby or single best friend when you talk about her… but not here! Chances are your fellow daughters-in-law have been through it or can relate, so indulge in Mother-in-Law Hell, the international online community where you can confide in women from all over the world, share your MIL angst, swap advice, give your own to ladies that need it, and hopefully mend some relationships.

Advice: We are the sister you always wanted! Got a doozie of a dilemma? Post a question and get advice from real daughters-in-law, just like you! See a story you can relate to? Give constructive advice and answer any of the questions posted by other daughters-in-law in need of some TLC. Let’s face it. We are the sister you always wanted! And, we won’t raid your closet.

Stories: I Can’t Believe Your Mother in Law Did That!! Do you have or have you had Mother-in-law problems? Share your stories with your fellow daughters-in-law. Believe me. We can totally relate! If you have an unbelievable, funny, unusual, crazy, or an “I can’t believe your mother-in-law did that” moment, here’s the place to spill your guts and feel okay doing it.

 Shhhh Girl: Your MIL from Hell Will Never Know it’s You! Hey, a girl’s gotta vent! Members can create a private profile, introduce themselves and discuss whatever is on your mind.  Worried that your Mother-in-Law might see you online? Don’t be! You can easily create a discreet username, so you can discuss specific topics with your own sorority of fellow DILs.

Chat: Grab a Cup of Coffee and Chat with a Sister. Come on; it’s all gonna be okay. Your sanity is just a click away. By becoming a registered member you can log into the chat room and have real time conversations with other women. It is a great way to get to know fellow daughters-in-law and make friends with other women who understand your situation better than most.

The Future:  The DIL Society has evolved into a modern social network and community blog with room for expansion and growth in many areas. As long as women are getting married, there will always be women in mother-in-law hell! The daughter-in-law community is one of the greatest outcomes of the site and it is continuously growing. There is unlimited potential for the society!

As a little girl, I would hear my mom and aunt tell stories of the time they spent in Africa as children. It seemed like another world to me when they would speak of the people, the culture, the homes, of course their adventures.  Their stories ignited something inside me that had me yearning for years–I had to make it Africa. And more so, I wanted to take my mom back to Africa and let her look at this mystical place through her adult eyes.

For years we had talked about taking a trip of a lifetime together. We talked, we talked, and talked some more. Finally, we went Nike style and just did it. We booked a 12 day Safari with National Geographic Expeditions and on September 16th, 2009, we left on our journey that would take us to  Kruger National Park in South Africa, Botswana, and Zambia. To say it was a trip of a lifetime is an understatement. Everything I thought it would be paled in comparison to what the trip really meant to both of us at the end.  For me, I wanted to see her physically in the land I thought couldn’t be real let alone a place she once called home. For her, the experience meant something else. As a professional photographer, there was plenty of eye candy in Africa.

I have no better way to share our trip with you with the slideshow my mother created with her photos. She is such a talented artist and truly captured the essence of our trip. You can watch it at www.unsworthphotography.com

Click on her photo of the lion. Once the page loads, you will need to click on the picture. Make sure you have the VOLUME TURNED UP on your computer.  The music pulls you right into the slideshow. You will also hear the song the children were singing to us at the school in Botswana. Enjoy

The eyes never lie.

This is what brings me to Tully and Antonio’s mom, Yvonne. It is clear to see that Yvonne is not pleased whatsoever that Tully is trying to be a part of Antonio’s life again. Although I don’t know all sides of the story or why they split, I had my own ex mother-in-law hell flashbacks when watching these two re-connect.  Rather than create my own version of the story,  I went directly to the source.

As always–real people real stories— My Interview with Tully Jensen

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) - Tully, how was the relationship between you and Yvonne when you were married to Antonio? Did she have an issue with him getting married at such a young age?

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- Antonio and I met when he was 17 years old.  We lived with his parents for a couple months after we were married. When his parents found out we got married, they were not happy. It’s not that they were unhappy for us. It was more that his career was taking off and being married could ruin him. So we kept it hidden.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) Would you say that Antonio was Team Tully or Team Yvonne when issues would arise?

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- Antonio was definitely Team Tully unless we were both in the same room and she was putting pressure on him.  Antonio was very young and Yvonne is a very strong woman so it was not easy for him. He was torn between respecting his mom and being a husband.  At 20 years old, he did not really have the tools to handle it.  He does now.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com)- I know you have not been around Antonio’s mother in almost 20 years, but can you share a mother-in-law hell moment between you and Yvonne? The DILS know that stinging moments between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are engrained in our minds for a lifetime!

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- There are a few moments that come to mind. LOL. I would say that the thing that really bothered me was when Antonio’s mother would speak to him in Italian in front of me. I knew she was speaking about me and that was very difficult. It was a separating tool, and it would drive me crazy. One defining moment was when he was told to get his head on straight like saying, “We are your family and she is just your wife.”   

 Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – What was it like being around Antonio’s mother again on the show?

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- We really did not spend time together on the show outside of events that placed us together i.e. the Lei ceremonies and the challenges.  I was in the house with the other girls, and we were under lock, key, and guard all the time.  It was tough at times. I felt like no matter what I did or said, her mind was set. I just kept trying to put myself in her shoes and give her respect and the benefit of doubt.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com)- I was married at 21 as and looking back, I know I could have handled some things differently with my then mother-in-law. Do you feel that things would be different this time around with her? If so, why?

Tully Jensen- Definitely! 1) I have grown up and am now a mother myself to an 8 year old son.  I have mellowed out and am not so reactive.  2) Antonio has become a mature ,wonderful, loving man and father.  His focus is his children, his work, his family and his ex’s who are the mothers’ of his children (and I am pretty confident in that order). He has learned to balance and juggle it all.  3) Yvonne is happily remarried and has a whole new world to concentrate on.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – So a little off topic here but the DILS would like to know, who used to take longer to get ready? You or Antonio?

Tully Jensen (My Antonio)- Neither of us:-) If we were going to an event then I took longer for sure !  Antonio is pretty relaxed.  He wears sweats at the gym and board shorts at the beach. We are both beach rats and neither of us are focused on primping unless we HAVE to. We would pretty much just grab what we needed and head out the door! Truthfully, we would rather stay home then go to an event, and we liked to hang out in our neighborhood to eat, see movies, etc.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – Final thoughts Tully?

Tully Jensen- Yes I do! There would not be a website like motherinlawhell.com if there was not a large number of mothers-in-law like this. Unfortunately, what it comes down to is that we as mothers HAVE to break the chain. If the mother has not broken the chain then it is up to the man to step up and break the chain. He has to gently (but firmly) let his mother know that he still loves her and respects her but that he is now a MAN and has a wife to tend and care for. His mom needs to get her tending from HER HUSBAND.  And the son HAS to be consistent about it. It does not mean that he does not go and see her, doe not listen to her, does not love her. It simply means that he has to focus on his own life, his own wife, and she needs to give him the respect to back off.  That does NOT give the wife license to abuse the mother in law of course. Too many men in this generation have no idea HOW to handle the situation and they teeter helplessly on the fence not committing either direction which only makes the wife angry. Then the mother feels she has a chance of ousting the wife and getting her son’s full love and attention back.  I know of women who are now mothers themselves and who complain and whine about how AWFUL their mother-in-law was to them. Then they do the EXACT same thing!! It is almost like a form of abuse.  They carry it forward.

Patricia (Motherinlawhell.com) – That’s it Tully! The DILS are rooting for you. IF you should win his heart back and not his mother’s, know that we are always here for you to let off some stream.

Tully Jensen (My Antonio) – I am sure that day will come. LOL.

Make sure to tune in to watch Tully Jensen on VH1’s hit reality Tv show My Antonio! It airs Sunday nights at 10:30PMEST.

Tully Jenson-If you happen to find our site, share a story or two or 20. The DILS would love the 411 on Yvonne.

Maintaining a healthy and happy relationship is not always an easy feat. Great relationships take work. Even the most compatible of lovebirds will encounter cold spells and roadblocks on their journey to “happily ever after.”

Fortunately, there are a few simple things you can do to help ensure the success of your relationship:

• Weekly date night: By now, most couples have heard about the “weekly date night” rule. But how many of you have actually taken this advice to heart? Chances are, you tried it once or twice…but then soon abandoned it in the face of kids, errands, and other priorities. Recommit to this relationship rule. You and your spouse need this time to talk, share, and bond. If you are short on time or cash, at least be sure to spend an hour or two together. Take a walk around the neighborhood, or share a few glasses of wine in your backyard. Just be sure to enjoy your spouse without distractions at least once a week.
• Vacation, no kids allowed: While weekly date nights are a great way to begin increasing intimacy, women often need more than just a couple of hours a week in order to truly de-stress and focus on their loved one. Since women are multitaskers, it can be hard for them to disengage completely from their many responsibilities. This is where vacations come into play! Recent studies have found that couples who take just one vacation a year see vast improvement in their relationships. Use your vacation to break away from your day-to-day routine. Relax with your partner and revive your relationship. However, there is one caveat to keep in mind: No kids! You need to enjoy quality adult time. Hire a babysitter or call in a favor with the grandparents — no guilt allowed! 
• I love you, times four: For most couples, saying the words “I love you” can become routine. Rediscover the importance of these three little words by remembering to say them at least four times a day. And don’t just repeat them ad nauseam! Find new, exciting, or even funny ways to spout your love for your partner. Try slipping a note in his lunch bag, tracing it in the bathroom mirror after a hot shower, or even just whispering it to her first thing in the morning!
• The ten-second kiss: When was the last time you kissed your spouse? Really, truly, passionately kissed them? Chances are, it’s been awhile! However, kissing is a special and important way for you to bond with your partner. Make the time to kiss your partner for 10 seconds every single day. It is bound to feel unnatural at first, but this is just a tool to get you back in the habit of kissing your partner. Before long, you will find that kissing has become a spontaneous and fun part of your relationship again!
• Voice three appreciations to each other: What do you appreciate about your partner? Is he a good father? Is she a great listener? Does he always remember to empty the dishwasher? Does she always have a cup of coffee waiting for you in the morning? No matter what you appreciate about your partner, be it large or small, make sure to voice it! I challenge all of my readers: Tell your partner 3 things you appreciate about them. Make sure to be specific – instead of saying, “I appreciate you for being a good father,” say “I appreciate when you read to the kids before bed.” Your partner will be blown away by your love and approval!

Now that I have given you some of my tips for a happy relationship, discuss with your loved one what’s already working in your relationship and share that with each other…and all the rest of us! What are your tried-and-true tips for a loving relationship?