Ok daughter in-laws I want and honest opinion. Am I the mother in-law from hell The first time I met my daughter in-law I told her that I knew she was going to marry my son, ( it was just one of those gut retching feelings what I didn’t tell her was that I also had a gut feeling that she would be trouble down the road). I honestly have tried to suppress those feelings because I wanted a loving family relationship- when my son married. My son is 33 and his wife of two weeks is 30. For Many years I have told my son please do not get married with out living with some one first. Well he took that advise. He lived with for a little over a year, he took her in to live with him after less then two weeks of knowing each other because her room mates couldn’t make the rent and she couldn’t do it on her own, so she had no place to go. When his lease ran out she said she was going to buy a house with or without him. He never before had wanted a house he didn’t want to be bothered with the maintenence.
You got it they bought a house together, guess who they called for the 5% down payment, you got it I sent them a little over $8,000 along with a letter to the bank saying it was a gift, with no thank-you from her.
When my son called last fall to tell me that they had decided to get married I offend him a diamond ring to give to her with a value of between $2500 and $3000. She knew it came from me but not once did she say a thing about it. I really wanted her to feel like I wanted her to be the daughter that I never had. Last spring I asked her to take a 2-3 day trip with me just so we could get to know each other better. She informed me that she didn’t think so because she had to work (she is a school teacher with her summers off but tends bar three to four days or nights a week)and to much to do to plan the wedding I offered to help, her response was no I have it under control.She is a school teacher with her summers off but tends bar three to four days or nights a week.
It has been hard but since he was 19 I have told him he was an adult and he wanted to live own his on then he was an adult and had to take on the responsibilities of an adult. He has an extremely high IQ but didn’t want to go back to college after the first year. My husband of 20 years and I have not lived in the same state as my son for 8 of the last 13 years. However we have always travel to see him at least twice a year or more and some times we paid for his flight so he could be with us for Christmas. Since he has got engaged we have been to see them four times including the time we took the diamond to him. Of those four not once was she home to greet us when we arrived and twice when we left she never got out of bed to say good-bye to us and once we left her a note to say we would be back by 11:20 to say good bye so we could let her sleep. When we got home she was gone and later found out that she had decided to go to a movie with a friend.
For there wedding present I told them that I would landscape there front yard for them, what they had was either dead or over grown, because the ground was so hard I had to hire some one to come in with equipment to dig out the from yard and bring new soil in. Once the new soil was in I did the rest of the work by myself. On one occasion as she was leaving the house she said looks nice I’ll be gone just a little while have to go to Wall Mart. She came back three hours latter and said nothing else about the work done just walked into the house.That was the closest I came to a thank-you for the work I did form her.
Up until the time she got my diamond on her finger I really tried to accept this girl. I told her how much I was looking forward to gaining a daughter and I meant it. I have since found out that she told her friends that I said it and laugh about saying she I didn’t mean it.

This post was submitted by Phyllis.

Step Father in Law, I couldn’t stand his temper and his abusive attitude. He didn’t like me from the start, until now I still don’t know why and what the hell is his problem. I noticed it, it’s all about pretended to be nice to me in front everybody.

This post was submitted by sabinh.

Well over the last few months he has stopped the divorce an we have been working on things alot. I have been doing so much talking in the last few months. I have been asking him many of questions an trying to find a way to get through all of this with the MIL. I think I have tried hard to get along with her.

This post was submitted by flmotherof2.

My mil got divorced a few months ago, her marriage has not been good in years. She calls my husband to cry about how no one loves her and how alone she is. When I am around her she cannot even look at me, but has told me several times that I took her son from her. She wants my husband to leave me and wants her daughter to also get a divorce so “they can all be a family again”. My sister-in-law sees thru this but my husband has became very angry and depressed because his mommy needs him and he does not know how to help her. Yes, he still calls her mommy. she makes smart a** comments when we make plans and then she wants him for something last minute and he tells her no. After she doesn’t get her way she won’t talk to him for a week. He blames me, she blames me. my husband and I fight because I am so tired of her. My husband is 27 I think it is time for him to stop trying to please his mother and start trying to please his wife before I leave him. I know that when his mom gets over getting divorced (for the third time) she will ease up but i don’t know if I can stay that long.

This post was submitted by mama.

MIL has is having a party for my SIL. She intentionally invited people who have have called me on my cell phone, at my house, and sent me nasty e-mails when I did not agree with my MIL. A few of them are not even friends of my MIL but friends of her other daughter who is very evil. Her daughter is very self center and selfish. As a matter of fact the enitre off spring of my MIL are all about me,myself, and I.  I was not planning on going but my husband does not want his mother to look bad in front of the relatives if I do not attend. I just do not feel I need to be put in such a hostile enviroment. Please help.

This post was submitted by sara.

My MIL didn’t like me from the very beginning.In India, it is very common thing to have idiotic MILs but I am not a typical DIL type who would silently suffer in pain all life.I am married for 4.5 yrs now and have filed divorce 8 months back.My husband is a very simple , nice guy but has no voice of his own.He would remain silent every time his mother abused me.My MIL thinks she has a right to everyone’s business and definitely thinks she knows the best.She has been interfering in our personal life all these years.We were initially with them for a few months after marriage and then moved to another place.But that did not resolve my issues.My husband was completely brainwashed by his mother.He spent all his leisure time with her.He never showed any interest in me or our home.I finally took a stand and decided to move out of this.Meanwhile my husband got a job in the UK.Many of my friends suggested that if I accompany him, our life would be better as his parents will not have as much control as before because they will remain in India.However, I thought for long and realized that it is not a matter of going different places, it is about difference of opinion.My husband till date has no guts to tell his parents that he is fond of me and would like to be with me.He is scared he will offend them.Therefore I have decided to move on.Life may be very difficult for a divorced women in India but its worth taking a chance than to suffer a life of humiliation in silence.

This post was submitted by Priyanka.

degrade you, try to control you, but still want you to visit with them? After nearly 15 years of being perpetually slandered, discussed, interrogated, screamed at, and “strongly advised,” a final straw put me over the edge. Now instead of insulting me to my face or behind my back, the negative comments were spewed at my children as my inlaws told one my kids how they “felt about me,” and insisted that the child inform me. I was livid. This is too much. I confronted the inlaw and was told I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

This post was submitted by I\'ve had enough.

We have lived with MIL for almost 2 years. Everything was fine and great until it all started about 6 months ago. MIL and I were actually close at one point and I talked to her about everything. Slowly but surely she stopped speaking to me. I see her a lot and she doesnt speak. Anyway she started acting mean and hateful towards me. I was sick in bed for 2 weeks and she never cared to ask what was wrong with me or if I was alright. I even had to go to the ER. My mom works with her and they have been on good terms for about 20 years, friends you could say. Momma walked in on her and heard her talking bad about me and my fiance. She even walked in on her recently and overheard her making fun of her. Mother confronted her and now MIL wont speak to her either. When we got engaged my fiance told her about it and she never replied. Never asked a question about it or wanted to see the ring. Then she didnt speak to us for a month. My fiance would say I love you momma, he would say it 10 times and she would say ok finally. The thing that I am very upset about is went up and told her we had set a date. She never said a work, fiance said well dont you wanna know when? Still no reply, so he shouted its dec 13 of this year. Still nothing, he yelled again and said well cant you say congratulations or that we are stupid or anything. MIL says I dont have anything to say. Then she finally said THATS NOT GOOD, THATS JUST NOT GOOD! She said it in the evilest tone ever. Now she isnt speaking to me again, shes speaking to him now though. Im about to blow up and tell her off, its too hard to hold this in. Whenever we leave she comes in our bedroom and snoops around, I know because things have been moved. One day I acted like I was leaving and came back and caught her doing it. She has even gone so far as of getting nosey into my bills. Shes always saying everything that we do is wrong. I am ready to knock her out. What would you guys do, anyone ever had this issue ? We dont have the money to move out yet. I joined the Navy and she tried her best to get me to sign on active duty for weeks so that I wouldnt come back home Im sure. Help!

This post was submitted by stacymarieb.

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. I (J) am 30 years old and he (G) is 25 years old. This is my 2nd marriage and his 1st marriage. I have a child by my first husband who is 12 years old (P) and I also have a child with my current husband who is 5 years old (R). G and I have a great life together but I’m sick and tired of dealing with his family. His mother divorced his dad when he was 5 years old. He and his dad hasn’t had a relationship until I came into the picture because of the lies his mother has told him. He was on a road to no-where and since he and I have met, so many people have told me how I turned him around. Since he and I have been together, he tells me things his mom did to him growing up (like kicking him out of the house at 15 - making him live in his truck, not feeding him, didn’t take care of him, hitting him etc.) He has told me stories about him having to find dirt roads to park his truck at night to sleep, eating 1 small snack a day, taking baths at truck stops or waiting up until they went to work and then took a shower at their house. I have tried to have a relationship when her but it is impossible. She has tried everything to hurt me and my kids. She would buy for my younger son and nothing for my older one. My son would ask questions about why she did this. My older son’s grandmother who is my ex-husbands mother died because of cancer. The only other grandmother he has is my mother. She would treat him different than my younger son and it ate at my heart because I was sick and tired of her doing this. Finally, G saw this happening and completely let her have it. He told her that they were both his children and if she did for one she would have to do for the other and if she didn’t then he didn’t want anything to do with her. Well, lets just say we didn’t communicate with them for months. She then called crying to him telling him how sorry she was, and some how eased her way back in causing more hell!!! She doesn’t have anything to do with our kids. She may see them 4 times a year (she lives 5 mins away). She spends most of her time with G’s oldest sister’s kids . She complains to G about what all she does for her mother  and how she is being abused by her but yet she keeps doing it. Oh, and by the way, MIL HATES me for some reason. She acknowledges G to her kids but I don’t exist. She doesn’t talk to me or anything. I have tried to talk to her but she is so jealous of us. Supposedly from what his step-dad has told me she is jealous because he has me in his life now and I am taking care of him and also she wasn’t the one who found him a girlfriend or something like that) She has to be the center of attention (has 4 kids and another on the way)!! I don’t have much to do with his side of the family because of all the drama except for his real dads mother. She is elderly and took G in when his mom kicked him out of the house again at the age if 17. He quit school got his GED and started working. I LOVE her to death. She is the only one who has given him a change and has given me a chance. The bottom line is this, I know I am not suppose to hate anyone but why do them so much?? How can I feel something for this lady that has caused so much paid to my husband? How can I have a decent relationship with someone who turned her back on her only son and watched him struggle but yet tells everyone else how great of a mother she was. I can’t stand this!!! I can’t stand to hear her name!!! Why do I feel this way? How can I get it to stop?
Another thing,
Well, yesterday, we found out that G’s step-father’s dad passed away and she has called G wanting him to do this and do that. G feels obligated to participate because his step-dad was always there for him and he wants to be there for him. I am not sure what I need to do. I don’t know the family well. She is telling G what he can wear and can’t wear and I want to cuss her out!!!

This post was submitted by Jennifer.

I posted a story on here a few weeks ago - Screw her pie, LOL.
I got pretty upset over the MIL’s hissy fit because I was too sick to go to her house for Thanks Giving & all she did was victimize me. She has her son by his balls, I had to pretty much yell at him to knock some sense in to him, he was scared to say no to her, I told him he could go but I’m not - I’m having contractions so he felt stuck in the middle. My body was so run down, I was puking and I started to have contractions and was told to bed rest by my midwife… but that wasn’t good enough for my MIL and she took it out on her son and the next day I heard about it, well kind of, LOL I got off the phone quick with her, I think she’s realizing she can’t get her way with me. Because of this, I’ve decided to stay with my parents for a little bit, I’m due next week so the stress of my MIL was just way too much. The phone calls and making me feel bad was just unreal. I have been happy since I haven’t spoke to her LOL. My DH has been visiting me as much as he can, for the most part he understands why I’m staying with my parents. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve spoken to my MIL, being only human…. I’m starting to feel guilty, she always asks my DH how I’m doing so I thought yesterday I would cave in & call her to “touch basis”, I thought it was the right thing to do, after all I’m carrying her grandchild. Sorry for the novel, she stresses me out & I need to vent. Anyways, so I called her yesterday & at first everything was good, I told her John - my husband, her son, was coming down to see me in a few hours. She asked what my plans were, I’m like oh nothing much, relaxing, taking it easy, I don’t get up too much because I’m 39 weeks pregnant lol. & of course, she said she was going to be “in the area” would you like me to come by… instead of saying “Hell no, I don’t want to see you, I was just calling to be nice!” I should of said that but that’s just mean lol … I made up an excuse, I told her I was going grocery shopping with my parents, I’m not sure what time I’m going to be home, then we’re going out for dinner and John - DH, will be coming with us. So the WITCH says oh thats no problem, I can meet you at the restaurant. I’m sorry but if I haven’t invited you, why invite yourself? I guess she doesn’t have what you call common sense. For a woman that works in a bank, she knows numbers very well but lost touch with reality? So I tried with another excuse saying I’m sorry, I’ll have to look in to it with my parents, I’m not sure what time we’ll be back from shopping and who knows what time we’ll be at the restaurant, usually we go around 6 or later. She said okay, 6 is good… lol THERE’S NO WINNING! I didn’t want to be a complete b**** and say sorry, maybe next time, I didn’t want her to think I was rude… but I thought giving her excuse after excuse she’d clue in that she’s not welcomed, most people would, just not her lol. Since I’ve been staying at my parents, my DH has seen his parents every weekend now for almost a month. They only seen him this Saturday, now they have to see both of us the following day for dinner. My parents can’t stand them so it was a very LONG evening yesterday…. what really got me going & I shouldn’t of taken it out on my DH, but I did. When the bill came, my in laws didn’t even offer to pay for their half……… they just sat there when the bill came. When my father paid for the bill, I was hoping after every one had finish their drinks (Everyone was drinking alcohol but me!! I would of died for a few dozen drinks to tolerate her) that my DH’s parents would of at least asked “So how much do I owe you?”
Nope… didn’t even ask or offer.
I have tolerated this witch so much, how can someone be so self-centered? My parents didn’t even invite these people & I sure as hell didn’t lol… my in laws invited themselves & then they have the nerve to not even offer to pay their half of the bill? My father would of said don’t worry about it BUT that’s besides the point. I feel so confused right now. I’m having a hard time being with my DH and accepting the way his parents are, mainly his mother, she’s too overbearing, she disrespected me on Thanks Giving, I needed a “time out” & stay with my own parents for a while… as soon as the phone rings & I know it’s her, I just lose it, probably a bit of my pregnancy horomones aswell as I can’t stand her……….. I blew up on my DH on the way home after dinner, he told me not to cry - relax, his mother has turned selfish in the past 5 years because she works in a office… Oh please, there is no excuse for that womans behaviour… & I’m suppose to cope with her? I can’t. Oh my did my parents have a lot to say when it came to my DH’s side of the family.. my father was a little bit furious that they didn’t even offer to pay their half of the bill and didn’t even thank him, I see where he’s coming from. & to top it off, they are always being pushy about being one big happy family.. ever heard of a little thing called respect? How do these people expect my family & myself to be their friends when they pretty much just walked all over us last night? My father said he will never be a friend of that family lol I think my DH’s parents picture us being best friends and it’s just not happening, nothing agaisnt them but my family just don’t consider them the “type” of people they’d associate with. My in laws have been pushing to be my parents “friends” since day 1 of my pregnancy & when we got engaged, my parents can’t stand them, same with me LOL my parents AVOID them. I’m in a battle right now with my MIL, one thing after another with this woman.. I have two amazing midwives & I trust them, I plan on doing most of my labour at home, then go to the hospital when I’m about 7 cm dilated, my midwives will come with me blablabla if things go well, I don’t need to stay in the hospital for 24 hours, I can come home and my midwives will do at home visits. So my birth plan isn’t like most girls out there, I’ll admit that, I’m VERY different!! I want a private birth and visitors the next day when I’m ready ya & mentally ready lol. I don’t want anyone at the hospital, cept for my DH, my midwives & myself.. not even my own mother is going to be there!!! My MIL wanted to be in the waiting room and bring some of her friends (Dear God!! Help me!! As if I want to meet her friends I have never met after giving birth to a child LOL), I have told her more than once look I’m sorry, it’s my birth plan. I told my husband that his mother just wasn’t listening… so he finally picked my side, told her what the plan is, she got pissed off then that’s when her husband stepped in and said hunny, we’ll do what they want us to do & ya, she didn’t like that so much. What did she say yesterday to my mother after dinner? “I guess the next time I’ll be seeing you is when we’re both pacing the hallways in the hospital”…… DOES THIS WOMAN NOT LISTEN? I SAID NO ONE AT THE HOSPITAL LOL. I had a “talk” with my DH today, I am so afraid his mother is going to come between us because I’m becoming very hot headed now, I’m due next week, sounds selfish but I do not want that woman at the hospital, no one will be at the hospital, every one can come visit me the 1st day I am back at home. If his mother can’t respect my wishes & realize it’s not about her right now, it’s MY birth plan.. she is making it so difficult on me, if she wants to be in her grandchilds life, I suggest she starts respecting my wishes & not walking all over my DH & myself.. I am so worried now she’s just going to show up at the hospital lol she asked me last night at the dinner table where it was located, um why? Does she plan on showing up when she isn’t invited? It wouldn’t surprise me. I know my birth plan is a lot different than most girls, but she should respect it. I want visitors the day after I give birth. My DH said he’d tell her and make it clear but seriously COME ON, we’ve already told the woman like 4 times, how is the 5th time going to make the difference? Now I just feel like being a b**** & not phoning her at all when I’m in labour, just call her when my baby is born, booohoo for her she’ll get over it. & he also did tell me not to worry, he’s fine with the fact that I will never have a relationship with her or so he says, I’ve tried for years now.. I’m exhausted trying to act as if I like her lol :(… anyone out there going through the same problems? Worried the MIL will put a strain on your relationship with he DH? He told me she will NEVER come between us. I hope he means it. I’ve tried for years to be this womans friend, it just doesn’t work. She is driving me crazy…. I seriously don’t think she’s aware of how selfish she is. My husband says the bank will do that to some people, oh bloody hell.. she works in a bank BIG DEAL, she’s not Queen Elizabeth so don’t try to act like a Queen around me. I don’t want to lose my DH over her… I also don’t want to pretend as if I like her anymore either, she has disrespected me aswell as my family.
Forgive me for the LONG story/novel.
I feel better now that I vented my life story, as in HELL.

This post was submitted by Samantha.

My relationship with my mil started out well, at least till I got pregnant with my first child. I guess when one gets pregnant, we lose our faculties, and are supposed to be easier to push around. My MIL asked me if she could be in the delivery room, I told her in a calm, assertive voice that I wanted to share this experience with my husband and ONLY my husband, and that my own mother was NOT going to be there. That same evening, she had my FIL call their son, like I had been overthrown from what I wanted.Just imagine it: A pregnant woman in the corner of the room, with her husband, fil and mil trying to conform her to their will. THAT’S HOW I FELT!!! (It’s weird, my husband was bullied in high school. However, I just found out he was raised by two bullies.)

This post was submitted by College Mom.

My mil got divorced a few months ago(not her first) and would not speak to anyone for the first two month. Now she calls my husband at least five times a day. She has never really talked to me except to tell me how much she liked my husbands ex or what I need to do or not do so her son will like me. She really thinks this is just a fling to him and the fact that we are married doesnt mean anything. She has pushed everyone away by making comments about how her kids and family members should not have any contact with her ex husband. She wants my husband to stay with her and gets mad when we do things without her. I am tired of her always getting her way just to keep the peace. She says things to me when my husband leaves the room and then denies them when he confronts her. She says I should not tell him what she says to me. He thinks that I am making things up. There have been times when I have thought about leaving him just to get away from her. I love my husband but can not deal with her trying to start fights. I am thinking about recording conversations just so my husband will stop believing her.

This post was submitted by mama.

My husband’s mother passed when he was six. His single father raised him, with a little help from family. He and his family has ALWAYS been close, which at first I thought was great! I come from a small family, so I thought the more the merrier! Boy was I wrong! My husband and I have not always seen eye to eye, and this first year of marriage has been REALLY hard! Over the last few years he has been “venting” to his family about me and OUR problems. And since his mother is no longer living he vents to none other than his FATHER and close female cousins! Well when he vents he of course is not exactly talking real good about me. I have vented to my mother, but I guess we are just different people compared to his family. My mom and dad have NEVER acted differently towards him, after my venting sessions! I blame him for his family not liking me, but I have also done my fair share of butt kissing and I’m still feeling unwanted. I’m at the point now, only after 3 short years. IM OVER it! I don’t care if they like me, I don’t care if they hate me. We are trying to have a baby. Should I try again to be in with the in-laws? I don’t want to be the family divider, but I can’t take back what my husband said about me either! What should I do?

This post was submitted by Desiree.

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and we had our first baby in May. We have yet to let the MIL babysit. I can not stand the woman. When my husband was a child she would leave him with his grandparents for months at a time. She didn’t care. Then when he was 15 she chose her dogs over him and kicked him out. He lived out of a truck for months before moving in with friends. She was a horrible mother who takes credit for how well he turned out, YAH RIGHT! she had nothing to do with it. Then there is her health. She is young, but she is severly overweight, she recently had a heart attack, her knees give out. I can’t bring myself to let her babysit for multiple reasons: the way she raised or “raised” her son, and her health. I would never forgive myself if I caved and let her babysit and she dropped him because her knees gave out. She throws fits because she can’t watch him but I just want her to stay away. She comes to our house once a week and calls almost daily. I just want to tell her that she only gets one chance at being a good parent, and she doesn’t get to attempt a second chance with MY son!
She constantly ignores things I say. Such as she asked what to get our son for xmas and I said just get one thing and a gift card to a clothing place. I don’t want him growing out of a bunch of clothes before getting to wear them. She rolls her eyes and then asks my husband what to get him. oh and by the way she calls him “the baby” she has called him by his name only a handful of times in 6 months. What do I do?????

This post was submitted by CP.

If you can help it, don’t marry your friend’s brother. You just might end up hating her after you are related. My SIL and I went to HS together and that is how I met my husband. I could tell my SIL wasn’t crazy about the idea but never really said much to me about it. Over time though, I realized she was trying to break us up in small ways. She told me that her brother slept around a lot. He was always picking up women from bars. She then told him that I was a man hater. Luckily future hubby and I talked about this. We had a good laugh because neither story was true.

This post was submitted by fallingwater.