My husband and I have been married for 2 years and we had our first baby in May. We have yet to let the MIL babysit. I can not stand the woman. When my husband was a child she would leave him with his grandparents for months at a time. She didn’t care. Then when he was 15 she chose her dogs over him and kicked him out. He lived out of a truck for months before moving in with friends. She was a horrible mother who takes credit for how well he turned out, YAH RIGHT! she had nothing to do with it. Then there is her health. She is young, but she is severly overweight, she recently had a heart attack, her knees give out. I can’t bring myself to let her babysit for multiple reasons: the way she raised or “raised” her son, and her health. I would never forgive myself if I caved and let her babysit and she dropped him because her knees gave out. She throws fits because she can’t watch him but I just want her to stay away. She comes to our house once a week and calls almost daily. I just want to tell her that she only gets one chance at being a good parent, and she doesn’t get to attempt a second chance with MY son!
She constantly ignores things I say. Such as she asked what to get our son for xmas and I said just get one thing and a gift card to a clothing place. I don’t want him growing out of a bunch of clothes before getting to wear them. She rolls her eyes and then asks my husband what to get him. oh and by the way she calls him “the baby” she has called him by his name only a handful of times in 6 months. What do I do?????
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the internationally-recognized website, motherinlawhell.com.
Advice
5 Responses to “Can not trust her!”
I UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION, BUT COMING FORM A PERSON WHO HAD A CRAPPY MOM WHO TURNED OUT TO BE A GREAT GRANDMA …ILL TELL YOU SOME PEOPLE JUST ARENT MENT TO BE PARENTS…BUT NOW YOUR THE PARENT AND THERE JUST THERE VISITING …YOUR SON SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A REALATIONSHIP WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER , IF YOUR SCARED TO LET HER WATCH HIM JUST BE THERE WITH HER UNTIL YOU GET COMFORTABLE THEN LET HER WATCH HIM FOR AN HOUR ONLY NOT A WHOLE DAY….SHE CALLS HIM BY BABY BECASUE HE’S STILL A BABBY HE’S ONLY 6 MONTH’S OLD …ENJOY HIM AS A BABY ….IT ONLY COMES ONCE IM NOT TRYIGN TO SAY YOUR OVER REACTING BUT I THINK A LOT OF THE RESENTMENT YOU HAVE TOWARDS HER IS BECAUSE OF YOUR HUSBAND AND WHAT HE HAD TO GO THROUGH AS A CHILD NOT HAVING HIS MOTHER TO RAISE HIM BUT IF HE TURNED OUT A GOOD GUY THEN YOU HAVE HER TO THANK BECAUSE SHE BACKED OFF AND LET SOMEONE RAISE HIM FOR THE BETTER ? OH AND ABOUT GROWING OUT OF CLOTHES ITS GOING TO HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT JUST TELL HER THE NEXT SIZE UP OR EVEN TWO SIZES….IF YOUR THAT WORRIED ….BUT KIDS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO GROW OUT OF THEIR CLOTHES NO MATTER WHAT…SIT BACK RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR SON ! AND LET HER HAVE A CHANCE…..IF IT DOSENT WORK AT LEAST YOU TRIED !
If you don’t trust her, and your instincts are telling you not to, DON”T DO IT!!! I don’t trust my mil and she has never, nor will ever sit for my daughter. My child is 3, but yours is still a baby. Stand up for yourself now once and for all, and that way you can get it over with and move on with your life. Do things the way you want to, YOU ARE THE MOTHER. If she needs to be reminded of that, give her the reminder. These women don’t understand unless you flat out straight up tell them. Of course she’ll pout for a while, but if she really wants to see your son and be a part of his life, she’ll get over it. Remember, YOU ARE THE BOSS OF YOUR CHILD, NOT HER. Hope this helps!!!
She calls your son “the baby”?! He’s a human being, not a doll![/appalled]
I am anything but subtle. If I was in this situation I would interrupt her midsentence whenever she called him “the baby.” “I want to hold the baby!” “Steven.” “The baby–” “Steven.” Injecting his name every single time she says “the baby” until she cottons on or her head explodes. I’m not really endorsing this behavior, but I’m saying, that’s what I’d do.
You can allow your child to have a relationship with her without allowing her to babysit. Stand your ground. To become a babysitter is not a right - it’s a privelege.
- the shiksagoddess
Don’t let her babysit! Your child is so important, he might as well be made of solid gold. My MIL has always been a worthless bi*@!, and I really didn’t want her to watch my daughter. I let her do it a few times, and right away she started in on the BS. “She’s starving! Why didn’t you leave me a bottle?” (I fed her 1 hour before.) “Why aren’t you feeding her solids yet?” (My baby was 2 months old, and then she fed her solids without asking me or telling me about it). Then she told my husband that I picked my daughter up too much…”she should be crawling at 5 months! Your wife needs to let her cry!” And that was the end of her babysitting. I still brought my daughter around once a week to visit, and recently she told my husband 2 slanderous lies about me. Now she’s done seeing my daughter. If she wants to see her, she is going to have to wait until my husband can accompany us, which will be never. He hates his mother, because she was terrible to him growing up. Remember this-if they were a terrible mother, it’s not even about wanting to see their grandchild because they love him. It’s because in their sick minds, if they can be nice to their grandchild, it will make up for what they did to their child. Don’t let her use your son for her benefit. Besides, women who are this stupid cannot be trusted to take care of the most important thing in your life!