Haven’t even MET the MIL yet, but the wedding planning has just begun and the EVIL MIL already says she won’t fly down from Jersey and meet me because I’m stubborn, selfish, and stuck in my ways, because I did not ask my fiance’s 35 year old sister who has 2 babies to be a bridesmaid. I have never SPOKEN to NOR MET Either the sister or the MIL so I didn’t feel comfortable asking the sister to be a bridesmaid, but I DID extend the offer for her to read scripture in the ceremony. HELP!! SHE IS LAYING GUILT TRIPS on MY FIANCE BECAUSE HE WON’T PERSUADE ME TO HAVE HIS SISTER IN MY BRIDAL PARTY. She already hates me and has never laid eyes on me.
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Her name is Patricia. By day, she is Mrs. Corporate America, by night, she is an “Ann Landers” of sorts. Patricia is the founder of the internationally-recognized website, motherinlawhell.com.
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6 Responses to “Bride to Be Already on MIL black list”
Omg I know how you feel. The only difference is my MIL to be doesn’t know I am engaged to her son yet. He hasn’t told her cause well he still has to live and deal with her. She’ll flip and bash me even harder ( if that’s possible ) . She can’t stand me and she hasn’t met me . She makes scenes when he’s on the phone with me or whenever she sees me on his myspace . She actually took the time to break into his myspace and delete my comments and my messages I sent to him . She thinks I am ” taking ” him from her . I’m his first serious g/f since his bad break up with his other ex of several years , and yes they have a child together , a little boy in fact . She doesn’t feel I’ll ever be a good mother to him , I don’t get it she judges me before she sees me . She’s definitely from hell , she’s a leech , she is always asking for money from him . I tells him he needs to stop and tell her NO when she asks , he’ll never get out of there . He knows we have a wedding to plan and a place to look for to live . I can’t stand her , so I am going through the same , a bride to be with a MIL from hell , I am on her black list too . He’s her first and only son, so that makes it 10 x worse!!!!
Baby-sounds like you’re in for a ride. I can only say-do not let her take an inch…NOt even a millimeter. Let you fiance know now that if he is not going to be a man and stand up to her crap- you fully plan on it and if he is not ready for the ride-then neither are you. I would call her and have the phone on speaker- confront her with her accusations in the most diplomatic way-allowing her to explain herself-and if she denies it-say something like, “Thank goodness I got the wrong story because now I am not so afraid that my MIL-to-be is a horribly controlling, unloving, possibly mentally demented, evil, nasty, hard hearted, acid-tongued witch.” and “Wow- what kind of person expects those kinds of things and then refuses to meet the one her son chose to love….I am relieved you are not one of them…. If you have already faced off with her and she is ugly acting-then let your fiance know you can not have a relationship with a person like this-let her know too. I’d say in front of them both this and that you will not make him choose between the two of you. YOu only want to love him and have a good relationship with his family, but if his mother is going to behave the way she has, there is no chance of a relationship between yourself and her.
“”"I’m stubborn, selfish, and stuck in my ways”"” send the MIL a message stating she is so right, best if she stays in Jersey and never comes to visit. Trust me, you will be much better off……
Don’t back down. It’s YOUR wedding day.
You need to make sure that your fiance stands up to the woman, or you will never have a moment’s peace.
My DH’s parents were very harsh toward me before we married. They did not approve of me at all, and made it as plain as they could.
Finally, DH told them that if they want him in their lives, they MUST accept me because I am HIS choice, not theirs.
It’s still occasionally rocky, so we avoid them for the most part. But if your marriage is going to stand a fighting chance, your darling must remember that “a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.” Not just good advice, but a serious directive no matter what your religious persuasion.
Hey you guys are the best. I was feeling so alone and your support means so much. As of today, my fiance is keeping her out of the wedding planning, and paying for the rehearsal dinner himself so she has absolutely no say. I have told him that if she continues to act like that and judge me that we will have no relationship whatsoever. I demanded that I meet the sister however, who has also demonstrated very poor etiquette and poor class by getting so selfish and angry over the entire ordeal. It’s so silly and I’m not going to let it ruin my engagement period any more than it already has.