After my MIL and FIL made my hubby, choose between them and me (he chose right, don’t worry, no mummy’s boys here!), they excluded him from the whole family, and immediately began spreading their lies, so we couldn’t ever get the truth known, and have anyone ‘on our side’. When DH realized his mother was not going to stop on her tirade to hurt us both and alienate us from our families/friends, he decided to get in contact with his biological brother (BB), who his mother had never wanted him to meet.
He found him, and we were so excited – like one door had slammed shut, and now one door was opening in his life …
They met, and it seemed to go well, but then at the next arranged meeting BB stood us up .. we struggled to contact him, and EVENTUALLY got a vicious text from him full of venom and threats and telling my hubby to ‘be ashamed of himself’ and that he had ‘just been using’ him and he finished by saying that hubby ’should go back to the people who actually care about him’ (a jab at me obviously!)
We were TOTALLY mystified, as the meeting had gone so well, and BB knew all about the hell that the DH parents had put us both through, and had been horrified. I tried contacting BB, and a month later I got a horrible email, and it mentioned an ‘email from granny’ … so we figured that MIL’s mother had been in contact with BB when she realized that DH was trying to reconnect with him, and had somehow sabotaged it. It seemed odd, because it was MIL and FIL who had actively hurt us before … obviously MIL’s ridiculous lies have everyone completely hoodwinked.
Anyway, a year later, I met Granny in the street and I just came out with it, and asked her what the hell she had been doing interfering with BB and hubby’s meetings. I told her that BB had stood us up and then treated hubby horribly .. she said she didn’t know that, and that all she knew was that BB had decided not to arrange another meeting (she said it as though she ‘knew’ I was lying: really patronising). Then I asked her what she wrote in her email, and she said ‘all I said was that I didn’t understand why DH was being so cold and cruel to his mum and dad, and that it was so out of character for him, and that he was wounding us all so deeply’. I was very taken aback, and just walked away … but now we don’t know what to think. Did she really write such an innocent, but misguided email, and for some reason BB freaked out, or did she (as we originally though) write a venomous, lie-filled email to get BB firmly on ‘their side’ and get him to hurt DH?
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Advice
3 Responses to “Sneaky cow or misguided granny?”
To answer your topic question….yes she is a sneaky cow.
She is going to keep flinging the cow flops at the both of you as long as you keep shoveling a clear path AWAY from her.
As to the BB, send him another e-mail to let him know you understand if he was confused by whatever was told to him by others. It would have been nice if he was a big enough man to delve into what kind of person his brother could have been, without relying on slanted cow flop messages sent to him. Too bad he knuckled under to slander.
I’d say she is hurting and angry, and whatever she really believes, she did that to try to punish you both. Remember that she is an innocent party here too: hurt by her daughter’s actions, although she probably doesn’t know it.
Change your address, phone number and email and try to get on with your lives…