Reluctant to tell MIL about pregnancy.
by milmakesmesick on 02/25 @ 2:41amFirst I am new to this, but I am glad I found a place to vent. So, I am pregnant. Not the first pregnancy. I am reluctant on telling my MIL about my pregnancy because she literally goes crazy. Some background info: we rent a house from her, she is out of state 70% of the time. We pay rent, we pay our bills, we provide for our children all of the necessities and some extras like movies. With my previous pregnancies she has wigged out. It goes like this: she gets happy, then she seems to stress out and she starts making up stuff. She will say that our house is horrifically dirty or that we are neglecting our children. As consequence of her actions my husbands siblings call and tell my husband that “you better shape up because ma is upset and getting sick or else I will go to state 2 and move you back to state 1.” The situation affects my well-being and our kids well-being. I am very leery that she will do the same. My husband likes to give her the benefit of the doubt and thinks she won’t. Has anybody gone through a similar situation? How should I handle this? She makes up her drama and plays the victim and everybody believes her.
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Advice
6 Responses to “Reluctant to tell MIL about pregnancy.”
As Dr Phil says, Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.No reason for you to invite unwanted anxiety into your home.
If you don’t want to tell people about your personal medical condition because they don’t provide comfort and support, then you probably shouldn’t.
When folks phone your husband him and says terrible things to him, nothing’s stopping your husband from saying “please don’t talk to me that way.”
He could follow up with “If you don’t have anything nice to say to me, then please don’t say anything.” If they don’t stop insulting and accusing him when he’s done nothing wrong, he says Good Bye For Now and hangs up. If they continue to harass him, he uses Caller ID to screen their calls. He lets them know he’ll talk to them when they treat him with respect.
MIL will make up all the drama she wants. MIL will attempt to enlist all the fools she wants to pass the drama along. Luckily, you and your husband are not required to provide an audience to her drama.
All you have to do is say “No thanks.”
Know your rights as a tenant in your state and county.
Hey hun
Your husband needs to cut the apron strings, and realise he is a grown man now, and YOU are his priority. Sit him down, explain the situation, and let him know that it is his mummy, and it is his job to keep her under control. He needs to start acting like a grown up man, not a mummy’s boy … your children will notice what is going on, and this is not the environment you want them growing up in. You and hubby need to show them that you should ALWAYS stand up for yourself and your loved ones, even to “family”.
Ok, I am trying to understand State 2 and State1. Does this mean his siblings do not want to deal with her? LOL am I reading that right?
This is how I am reading it.. and you may need to clarify.
MIL gets stressed out about the pregnancy.. SIL/BIL call and tell you that she is stressing out and making herself sick, and unless you fix it they are moving to where you are.. and you will move closer to MIL.. lmfao I get it..
Ok, she gets stressed out easily. She is a worry wart, and makes up fictious events to raise her own stress level and those around her. Yeah you are in trouble. Because honeslty with worry warts it never ends. There is always something that stresses them out, and it usually comes from out of left field. The best thing you can do is stay calm.
Stay calm not just for your own sanity, but for your baby’s health as well. Make sure your husband lets her know that it is a good thing, and if other family members want to chime in than he should remind them to mind their own beezwax. Let the family members come over for a visit and see for their own two eyes that your house is clean, and she is just being crazy.
If everyone still wishes to butt in after this.. remind hubby that YOUR stress level gets raised because of it.. and that is not healthy for the baby..
Good luck..and saty calm for you and baby!
You are pregant so YOU now have a medical condition of serious concern. Sit your husband down and tell him that your mother caused you an extreme amount of anxiety with your first pregnancy. Based on this, you wish to delay announcing the pregnancy, and while you are pregnant, you want the most limited contact with her as possible, including not having to answer the phone to speak to her.
Your huband should be looking after YOU FIRST during this time and feilding all of the rude family calls and intrusions. That is HIS JOB, NOT YOURS. Don’t make it yours. Push it all back on him and enjoy your pregnancy.
Whoops — meant HIS mother caused a lot of anxiety!
Don’t tell her about your pregnancy until you just can’t hide it anymore, and when you do tell her, you lay out ground rules for her if she wants to have a peaceful relationship with you and H’s family.